Tying the knot

The Randomizer: Spaniel

2011-12-06T19:53:00.000-08:00

Long time, no see, friends! I know I said good-bye already, but when Mrs. Avocado suggested this series, I was excited to play along. Since I haven't really looked at our wedding pictures in almost a year, it was a lot of fun to revisit some pictures I'd forgotten about!

I suppose there is no harm in starting at the end, is there? My first random photo is from late in the reception. I was dancing with my brother and some law school friends, while one of the groomsmen was trying to pick up one of my girlfriends. ;)

We were on our way to get pictures taken with the bridal party when this one was taken. I have to laugh when I see it because of how high I was holding my dress to keep the dirt off of it. (But it worked!)

Self-explanatory, right? This was right outside of the bridal dressing room, taken before the first look.

Sneaking a kiss with my new husband during toasts. Or maybe it wasn't so sneaky.

I love this picture and how it focuses on Mr. Spaniel. Weddings (and photos, and recaps!) can be so bride-centric, and it's nice to have a shot of the two of us where Mr. Spaniel is front and center (or back and focused, as the case may be). (And don't worry; he was smiling in the next photo!)

I love how the dining room looked all lit up. We picked our venue because it was already so beautiful without our help or any extras; all we added were three pillar candles in hurricane vases and some scattered rose petals.

My older-younger brother (got that? I'm the oldest; he's younger than me but the older of my brothers) gave the last toast of the night. I asked him if he would months before the wedding, but I'm pretty sure he still pretty much winged it. No wonder he had that beer in his hand. :)

We announced all of the people who preceded me down the aisle at the beginning of the reception. Papa Spaniel escorted Grandma Spaniel into the room first.

This photo, taken during our first dance, is one of my favorites from the wedding. I loved dancing with my husband for the first time, I love seeing how beautifully my dress moved, and I love that MIL-Spaniel is taking a snapshot in the background.

Our programs totally didn't get enough screen time for how much work BM-Noe and I put into them. I will owe her many, many crafts when she gets married!

All photos by Meg Perotti.

Well that was fun times. Okay, your turn!

A Bee's Life: Spaniel Edition

2010-11-10T06:30:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to write A Bee's Life post pretty much since I became a Bee, so it seems appropriate that I should finish my tenure here with my contribution to this series.

How did I find Weddingbee?
A few months after getting engaged, I started to think more about the cultural traditions that I hoped to incorporate into our wedding. You already know I had a non-traditional mehndi, but you have to know the rules to break them! So I did some Googling on mehndis and came across this archived post by Mrs. Jasmine. Jasmine and I go way back—to high school and college, so when I saw her picture on the blog, I got curious! (Fun fact: when I saw her picture and occupation on the side of the blog, I thought an impostor blogger was pretending to be Jasmine. Who knew I was so suspicious?!) I read through a few of her posts and some of the newer bloggers' posts, and got hooked!

Before finding Weddingbee I garnered most of my wedding inspiration from sites like Style Me Pretty and Green Wedding Shoes, which I still love. My wedding had a different aesthetic, though, and seeing the great variety of bloggers here made Weddingbee my go-to site pretty quickly.

My application story
Unlike many of the Bees, who began blogging hoping to become Weddingbee bloggers, I've been blogging since before there was even blogging software. ;) I've had a blog for just about every subject I've ever been interested in, and with the engagement, I knew I just had to document the process, since it was the only thing that held my interest! I'd been writing for my own teeny-tiny audience for about six months before I found Weddingbee. I'd like to say that the rest is history, but it's not!

I applied to be a Bee as soon as I got to the 8-month mark. I was rejected pretty quickly, but I thought I had a pretty good idea as to why: very little was settled in my wedding, and I was still hopping spastically from idea to idea without giving anyone an idea of what I was trying to do or who I was. The next time I applied, I had nailed down more vendors and wrote more thoughtfully about my plans and inspirations.

But I still got another rejection letter. I'm not gonna lie; I felt pretty wounded that time! I was pretty sure I didn't have it in me to get turned down a third time, but rather than not face the possible rejection, I just decided to turn in a really kick-ass application. I started writing like I really was already a Blogger, complete with a sidebar blurb that became my profile cloud here. I posted more personal photos so that readers could feel like they knew me. And I kept trying to write quality posts and avoiding fluff. Third time's a charm, right?

On being a Weddingbee blogger
Because I had been blogging for so long before becoming a Bee, the first few months of blogging was easy-peasy: I edited a million posts to make them current and relevant, soaked comment love (I'm not sure y'all know just how much we bloggers love. your. comments. For reals), and slowly drafted the posts that would go live in the last few months of our engagement. I was also in school so I had a lot of free time, rather than working full-time, so blogging was not a huge burden (other third year law school students may disagree, but they probably enjoyed law school a lot more than I did, then! ;).

But that said, blogging 3-4 times per week about your wedding takes a lot of time. A good post takes research and photo editing, neither of which are quick efforts. A ton of time got sucked into the Bee, whether blogging or contributing to the Boards, and I didn't get a lot of downtime during that period. I didn't realize just how much time I was spending on the blog until after the wedding—taking my time with recaps was a tremendous relief!

Which brings me to my next point: GUILT. Weddingbee blogging comes with guilt in spades. ;) I knew my recaps would take longer than many just because I had to graduate and study for the Bar exam right after the wedding, which were obviously bigger priorities than blogging. But I still felt guilty knowing I was keeping the readers who made this whole blogging trip so much fun (have I mentioned comments?) waiting for me to finish!

Spaniel's tips for writing for the Bee
I think the most important thing is to be yourself. (Bee yourself? No?) I sort of hate that advice because we've all heard it a million times and it feels like it doesn't mean anything. But you can't fake your voice when you're writing about something so personal as planning your wedding: being genuine in your writing is the best way to blog!

In that vein, I second all the Bees before me who said that you should only try to be a Bee if blogging is going to make you happy. Blogging and I had our share of tiffs over the past year, and when it wasn't fun? I took a break. If I had felt that way while blogging about the planning, I think it would have added a layer of stress to my life that I did not need at all.

But if you do love blogging for its own sake, why not take the leap? I would have kept on blogging even if I'd never made it as a Bee (although I might have posted a lot less often in those last few wedding planning months!). Blogging because you love it is so rewarding, and blogging for Weddingbee has definitely been the most fun and communal blogging experience I've ever had. The ladies of Weddingbee are a great, supportive community—bloggers and readers—and I am so, so thankful that I've had the opportunity to share this part of our lives with each other. What a great experience this has been!

And with that, I sign off from my last official post for Weddingbee. I know I've been putting this off an awfully long time—I've been blogging here for just over a year!—but thank you all for your patience, your support, your advice, your suggestions, and your attention. :) Wishing you all beautiful weddings and wonderful married lives!

Good bye, from Mrs. Spaniel!

Photo by Meg Perotti

Checking Your Sources

2010-11-09T12:23:00.000-08:00

People who have been there and done that will warn you that things will go wrong on your wedding day. It's probably true, and you're wise to accept it. But that doesn't mean you can't do something to prevent some disasters from ever taking place by doing just a little bit of research early on. I signed contracts with and gave deposits to at least three vendors that I would never do business with or recommend again, and I did it because I did not do my homework!

(source)
Let's say you are budget-hunting and found a potential wedding vendor through a Facebook ad or on Craigslist. You don't have any local bride-friends who have used the vendor, and a Google search doesn't yield much that is helpful. Neither does a check of Yelp or the usual wedding review sites. This isn't a red flag in and of itself, because the person you've found may be new to the industry and without much of a portfolio. Maybe this is why he or she is willing to offer you such a tempting deal! But before you commit, there is one site you should search if you are in Canada or the United States: the Better Business Bureau.

There are two reasons that I think the BBB is a great place to stop before booking a vendor. One is that you may find reviews that you were unable to find elsewhere. I've already written about one vendor, The Pros, that everyone in the world knew was disreputable except for me. As an even stronger example, if I'd checked the BBB before booking my videographer (not associated with The Pros; PM me if you are worried you're about to book the same guy and I'll tell you who he is), I'd have known that he had an F rating. This F rating has nothing to do with the quality of his artistry (in fact, that was never mentioned at all), but rather the timeliness of his delivery. Had I known, I would not have found myself a teary mess five weeks after the wedding, because I wouldn't have thought that his failure to respond to a single message for over a month meant that we were never going to get our wedding video—I would know instead that it might just take a long, long time. (He did eventually get back to us, though we are back in limbo. I had truly hoped to show you all our highlight video before I finished my recaps, but that is not to be... and he is back to not responding to me! Trust me, you do not want to be in this situation almost eight months after your wedding!)

The second reason is that checking with BBB can help you to know whether your vendor is actually running a legitimate business. In Los Angeles County, businesses are required to obtain operating licenses. The licenses aren't very expensive, but if you have a fictitious business name (i.e., a company name), even for a sole proprietorship (i.e., a one-person business), you need a license and there is a fine for not having one. Companies operating without licenses, at least in L.A., are operating outside of the law. Maybe you are one of those small government types with an anarchist bent that is thinking EFF THE MAN, but this can cause a problem when your vendor flakes on you and you have very little recourse. The chain of logic runs thusly:

Vendor operates without a license required by law »
Your vendor probably doesn't have much respect for the law »
Your vendor is a shady person »
Shady vendors often don't have much respect for YOU.
Not enough? Well!

Your vendor runs away with your deposit and doesn't deliver the promised service »
You try to take your vendor to Small Claims Court »
Your vendor, who doesn't have much respect for the law, doesn't show up to court »
You win! Default judgment! BUT! »
Your vendor isn't claiming income because your vendor doesn't have much respect for the law »
There is no way for you to collect »
You lose after all.
Okay, this might be fanciful. Let's try again.

Your vendor does what you've contracted »
But your vendor is stiffing the county, and might still be under-reporting income to avoid taxes »
All honest people paying for your vendor's shadiness.
I am kind of a proponent of following the law and I don't take kindly to tax cheaters. If I checked up on my no-show MUA before she no-showed me, I would have realized that she was not listed with the BBB and wasn't operating with a business license. I wouldn't have trusted her, nor would I have paid her a (cash) deposit (another red flag of a tax cheat). I either would have found someone else earlier, or I would have been more prepared to take care of my own make-up, saving myself some unnecessary day-of stress either way.

In any event, I highly recommend using Craigslist to find budget vendors when traditional avenues fail. But before you write anyone a check, check the BBB first!

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel: The First Look
Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Hey Laaadies! (The Wedding Party)
Signing Our Lives Away
Marriage Is a Process...ion
We've Only Just Begun (The Ceremony)
Organized Chaos
All Kinds of Pretty and One Big Fat Ugly
(This Will Be Our) Budget Recap Post
Wedding Rituals
This Is Not Good-Bye
Los Angeles/Malibu Vendor Review

This Will Be Our Year: Los Angeles/Malibu Vendor Review

2010-11-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

Well hello, Hive, remember me? I already told you that I wasn't ready to say good-bye, but now that I'm nearing on one year of blogging for Weddingbee (holy crap; that's coming right up!), I thought it was time to start wrapping things up with my last few recap posts. *tear*

For the sake of brevity and fairness, I'll only be review the vendors that I would recommend—those that I'm neutral or negative on I'll either leave in the Vendor Reviews or in my head. :)

Venue: Calamigos Ranch
Highly recommend
The venue was the one truly budget-busting item of the entire wedding, but I believe that we got what we paid for in numerous ways. Included in the per-head costs were an absolutely beautiful (outdoor) ceremony and (indoor) reception space (which rendered big decor expenses unnecessary!), dinner service with very good food, three hours of beer and wine bar, cake-cutting, an excellent ceremony coordinator (ask for Claudia! She was great!), and complimentary valet service for our guests. We upgraded our chairs from white wooden ones, and had passed hors d'oeuvres, which were delicious. (They offer options for bar upgrades and draping fabrics from the ceiling—we didn't expect or pay for the white ones we had, so I'm not sure if they are standard or not—as well as heat lamps for the ceremony in case it gets cold, which we didn't end up needing.) We were able to save a lot of time looking for vendors because most of our needs were provided by the venue.

It's true that Calamigos hosts a lot of weddings—sometimes 4 or 5 at the same time—which I know is a deal-breaker for many brides. We never saw anyone from another party, though; the sites are pretty isolated from each other.

(guest photo)Photographer: Meg Perotti
Cannot recommend highly enough
Meg was an absolute blast to work with, and she took absolutely beautiful photographs, to boot. Sometimes I like to think of the wedding I would have had if I got a do-over (i.e., if MIL Spaniel had let us have the wedding in her backyard! ;). On the one hand, I'd change almost everything. On the other hand, there is no way I would have hired anyone other than Meg to photograph the day for us. We received over 900 images from the six hours she and Regis shot, and they are all beautiful! Meg was very professional, fun, and had amazingly fast turnaround. I had a lot of vendor hiccups, but I never for a moment was worried about my photographer, and she did not disappoint!

Sadly for us Southern California brides, Meg has moved back to the Bay Area, but she travels! ;)

(personal photo)Invitations: Invitations by Ajalon
Highly recommend
I loved my letterpress invitations. I found the design I wanted from their gallery, but they also do custom work (or will print your designs), and they often have really great specials, which was the only way I could afford letterpress! The quality was excellent, and Trish was great to work with.

Coordinator: Tina Molina Events
Recommend
Out of an abundance of caution, we hired Christina to ensure that someone was running the show and looking out for our interests, rather than just relying on the coordinator provided by Calamigos. Christina was extremely helpful in developing our timeline, keeping track of vendors so that I didn't have to, and setting up all of the decorations that we brought. She also took care of all the logistics and much of the clean-up at the end of the night, a headache I was happy to pass to someone else!

Flowers: Les Fleurs de Vie
Recommend
Devi was another low-maintenace vendor: we met in person a few months before the wedding, I showed her some pictures of what I wanted, and she delivered, at a very reasonable price.

Stay tuned for next time, wherein I share the (hard-won, and I don't wish them on you) lessons I learned in selecting vendors!

All photos by Meg Perotti, unless otherwise noted.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel: The First Look
Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Hey Laaadies! (The Wedding Party)
Signing Our Lives Away
Marriage Is a Process...ion
We've Only Just Begun (The Ceremony)
Organized Chaos
All Kinds of Pretty and One Big Fat Ugly
(This Will Be Our) Budget Recap Post
Wedding Rituals
This Is Not Good-Bye

This Will Be Our Year: This Is Not Good-Bye

2010-09-06T18:14:00.000-07:00

When people get frustrated with you and your crazy planning ways, they'll condescendingly tell you that "it's just a party" and you shouldn't get all caught up in it (not that this happened to me, oh no... actually, I'm really not being sarcastic; I just hear it happens to a lot of brides ;), you can tell them: Mrs. Spaniel says you're wrong. Actually, don't tell them that, because then they'll really think you're crazy. Who is Mrs. Spaniel? In any event, I know now that a wedding is not just a party, and I know that because it's the part of the wedding about which I have the least to write.

I can honestly say, in hindsight, the most important part was the ceremony—it was the whole point. The most rewarding parts were the speeches our friends and family made—we had a wedding because we wanted to share this momentous occasion with our community, and feeling their love coming back at us made it worth it. The party? It was fun.

In fact, it was a lot of fun.

(I think Mr. S was singing Jai Ho here, which is a few kinds of awesome.)

But then it wound down, and then it was over. Eighteen months of planning, three days of activities, and eight hours of event... done. So fast!

It was a wonderful day and I'm so grateful that we got to have it, to share it with our friends and family, and that I was able to share it with all of you. I'm ready to say good-bye to our wedding, but not to Weddingbee... I still have a few nuggets of wedding wisdom I want to share before I sign off as Mrs. Spaniel for good. So, for the moment, I'll let Grandma Spaniel say good-bye instead.

(Guest photo)
All photos by the terrific Meg Perotti unless otherwise noted.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel: The First Look
Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Hey Laaadies! (The Wedding Party)
Signing Our Lives Away
Marriage Is a Process...ion
We've Only Just Begun (The Ceremony)
Organized Chaos
All Kinds of Pretty and One Big Fat Ugly
(This Will Be Our) Budget Recap Post
Wedding Rituals

This Will Be Our Year: Wedding Rituals

2010-07-20T08:46:00.000-07:00

After a few pictures and a chance for guests to grab a drink, the DJ called everyone into the reception area to continue the cocktail hour inside, while we made our way onto the dance floor for our "grand entrance" (we boogied into the room to Wilco's Hoodoo Voodoo, which was the only adequately celebratory song for such an occasion, I think!), from which we would go straight into our first dance.

So let me tell you a little about this first dance business. I mentioned before that we were going to attempt a Danish wedding waltz, but we were really nervous about how it would play out on the wedding day. So in addition to our two private lessons, we practiced twirling around our living room almost every night for a month, sent the video to our wedding party, our DOC, our photographer, and our DJ just to make sure everyone was prepared for the awesomeness that was going to happen on the dance floor. And in case that wasn't enough, we practiced with most of our wedding party in the hotel suite the night before the wedding.

And then we rocked the hell out of it. ;)

We waltzed around the dance floor long enough to prove we are much better dancers than Frederick and Mary, when our wedding party started moving in on us (followed by directions from the DJ to the rest of the crowd to take "one giant step forward").

This couldn't have been more fun, and it left us in a great position to be able to see and talk to many of our guests before dinner. Win!

As the cocktail hour wound down, the DJ announced that dinner would be served soon and that everyone should find their seats. As salads were passed, Papa Spaniel took the opportunity to speak.

(I love my dad :)
After dinner (which was delicious), we heard from Mr. Spaniel's Best Man and both of our brothers.

I can't wait for our wedding video so that I can remember all of what was said! But I do remember that we laughed, I cried, and have teased Mr. Spaniel mercilessly and endlessly following his brother's mini-roast:

My brother Mr. Spaniel is, and has always been, a careful chooser... If you have ever been to a restaurant with Mr. Spaniel, you know what I'm talking about. That's because Mr. Spaniel isn't a person that can be characterized as a quick orderer, or an average-speed orderer, or even a slow orderer. Mr. Spaniel falls into the category of the slowest orderers that have ever lived.

(It is 100% true.)

Cheers!

All photos by the superb Meg Perotti and Regis Photography.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel: The First Look
Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Hey Laaadies! (The Wedding Party)
Signing Our Lives Away
Marriage Is a Process...ion
We've Only Just Begun (The Ceremony)
Organized Chaos
All Kinds of Pretty and One Big Fat Ugly
(This Will Be Our) Budget Recap Post

This Will Be Our... Budget Recap Post

2010-07-16T15:58:00.000-07:00

Way back when I was a wee 'bee, I promised I'd share my final budget numbers at the end. I don't want to say good-bye on a budget post, though, so you're stuck with me through a few more recaps. :)

Yes, that's what you're stuck with (guest photo)
So without further ado...

Category	Budget	Actual
Ceremony (location fee, officiant)	$400	$150
Reception (venue rental, food and service, beverages and bartenders, cake and cutting fee)	$17,000	$24,000
Bride's attire and accessories (including alterations, hair and make-up)	$2,000	$1,750
Groom's tux and accessories	$250	$0
Flowers and décor (bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages, ceremony decorations, reception decorations and centerpieces)	$2,000	$1,015
Music (ceremony and reception musicians)	$2,000	$1,100
Photography	$3,000	$3,200
Stationery	$750	$750
Wedding rings	$2,000	$1,440
Gifts (bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents)	$600	$660
Videographer	---	$1,100
Day-of Coordinator	---	$350
Transportation	---	$125
Ketubah	---	$620
Total	$30,000	$35,600

Ouch. So, it's pretty obvious where we got into trouble: when we put our budget together, way back in the long ago days of 2008, we had assurances from our family that the guest list would not exceed 150, that we could plan on 130 people celebrating with us. In the end, we had a guest list of a whopping 205 people, and put on a party for 162. Add in a few extras, like upgraded chairs and passed appetizers, and you can kiss your budget good-bye! The lesson of the day is: get the list from your parents EARLY, and don't trust them when they just give you a number! They almost certainly have an additional 50 guests up their sleeves. ;)

I didn't try the prosciutto, but everything else was delicious!
Would it have been such a party if the room weren't so full?
I'm just going to go ahead and say that, in the main, there is very little we could have done differently without the benefit of hindsight. Every new thing we thought of (video, DOC, ketubah, a ride home at the end of the night), we took out of somewhere else in the budget—I wore won and low-cost accessories, we got a free rental on Mr. Spaniel's tuxedo from the Men's Wearhouse, chose a hotel that would give us a free suite for reserving a large block, and hired a freelance florist instead of an established shop, for example. We also took every precaution we could think of on the reception costs by hammering out our guest list early. Unfortunately, just because Mr. Spaniel and I were all wedding all the time does't mean our parents were, and I guess a year beforehand they did not have their wedding caps firmly on their heads... leading to last minute invites that came too late to have chosen a less expensive venue after all!

Admittedly, if this were all coming out of my own pocket, I would have put my foot down more firmly on the last-minute guests. Nearly 20% over budget is no joke. But our parents thought inviting more of their friends was worth it, and no one at our wedding was a stranger. Mr. Spaniel and I spent only what we could afford, and no one went into any debt for our wedding.

And since I can't think of a better way to close this post...

Meh.

All photos by the wonderful Meg Perotti, unless otherwise noted.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel: The First Look
Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Hey Laaadies! (The Wedding Party)
Signing Our Lives Away
Marriage Is a Process...ion
We've Only Just Begun (The Ceremony)
Organized Chaos
All Kinds of Pretty and One Big Fat Ugly

This Will Be Our Year: All Kinds of Pretty and One Big Fat Ugly

2010-07-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

I would like to take full credit for how beautiful the dining room looked, but I can't—we picked Calamigos Ranch because we wanted something that was nearly finished already, and it was beautiful before we added a thing.

Aside from the centerpieces and menus, I didn't really bring much—a couple of chair signs for me and Mr. Spaniel because I had leftover paper and ribbon, and none for anyone else because I didn't have leftover time.

But it's not real life if something doesn't look just plain-out ridiculously awful, somewhere. Behold, the Hideous "Henna" Cake!

Do you remember my inspiration cake? No? I'll show it to you.

(source)
And just in case math is not your strong suit...

You can tell that whoever was working on the cake was looking at the inspiration picture. What you can't tell is what they were thinking. Or why they didn't start over when they got those giant blobs of fudge smeared across the bottom tier.

I have to say, I thought it was pretty funny when I saw it. But I also wish I would have known just how bad it was going to look, so I could have saved the money on a "pretty wedding cake" and put together a much prettier and more cost-effective cake buffet instead. At least it tasted good!

All photos by the magical Meg Perotti, unless otherwise noted.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel: The First Look
Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Hey Laaadies! (The Wedding Party)
Signing Our Lives Away
Marriage Is a Process...ion
We've Only Just Begun (The Ceremony)
Organized Chaos

This Will Be Our Year: Organized Chaos

2010-07-08T19:02:00.000-07:00

After the ceremony, the cocktail hour began. Mr. Spaniel and I didn't want to miss our entire cocktail hour with our guests, and had planned our entrance to the reception area and first dance for only fifteen minutes in as a result. While we waited for our cue, Mr. Spaniel and I took a few minutes to sit and reflect on the huge step we had just taken.

Just kidding. We sat and took directions from about seven different photographers.

Mr. Spaniel points out one camera, while looking at another (guest photo)
I don't actually remember what this face was for, but I sure look flustered! (guest photo)
I didn't have much time to stress, though. The bridesmaids fixed my bustle, Mama Spaniel fixed my lipstick, and then we were ready waltz into the reception area!

In a parallel universe—that is, out front on the patio where the cocktail hour was starting—the venue staff was serving champagne and strawberries to our guests.

I love how relaxed and happy everyone looks in these close shots... but back up a little, and you can see that it was a madhouse!

(guest photos)
All photos by the talented Meg Perotti, unless otherwise noted.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel: The First Look
Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Hey Laaadies! (The Wedding Party)
Signing Our Lives Away
Marriage Is a Process...ion
We've Only Just Begun (The Ceremony)

This Will Be Our Year: We've Only Just Begun

2010-06-22T07:36:00.000-07:00

It was time.

(This was our recessional music, and the unofficial "anthem" of our wedding, because we married on the Persian New Year... and it's one of the happiest love songs I know. :) Play it while you read!)
Surrounded by our closest friends...

...by our families and our support systems...

...we listened to the words of wisdom of our officiant (married 50 years!)...

...and to the words of "The Prophet."

You were born together,
and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when the white wings
of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the
silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other's shadow.

(I tried not to cry.)

We exchanged vows...

...we exchanged rings.

We were pronounced "Dr. and Mrs. Spaniel."

Mazel tov!

Yeah, this will be our year.

All photos by the marvelous Meg Perotti and Regis Photography.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel: The First Look
Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Hey Laaadies! (The Wedding Party)
Signing Our Lives Away
Marriage Is a Process...ion

This Will Be Our Year: Marriage Is a Process...ion

2010-06-18T10:02:00.000-07:00

And the first step in that procession is getting down the aisle. :)

First the groomsmen and Middle Brother Spaniel took their positions...

Then Younger Brother Spaniel walked Grandma Spaniel to her seat and took his place...

The Spaniel-in-laws...

Mama and Step-Dad Spaniel...

And my bridesmaids. I still love their dresses every time I see them. :)

The music changed, and my nerves went haywire. OhmygodI'mgettingmarried!

Papa Spaniel walked me to the bottom of the stairs before he took his seat, as I'd planned to walk up the stairs to meet Mr. Spaniel alone.

But after Papa Spaniel gave me a hug and started to step away, the processional music abruptly stopped. Suddenly, I became very conscious of my sharp heels, the cracks in the ground that I couldn't see beneath my heavy dress, and the eyes of 150 people on my back. I was absolutely terrified, but somehow I made it up on my own!

It must not have taken forever, since I'm the only person I've talked to who remembers the music getting cut early, and I made it to the top, grabbed my mister, and was ready to get married!

All photos by the stupendous Meg Perotti and Regis Photography.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel (The First Look)
Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Hey Laaadies!
Signing Our Lives Away

This Will Be Our Year: Signing Our Lives Away

2010-06-16T10:26:00.000-07:00

The portraits finished with fifteen minutes to go before the wedding ceremony(!!!). Mr. Spaniel grabbed the ketubah, and we were off to sign our lives away!

I love how excited we look here. :)

The ketubah was not in our original budget, but it was worth every penny: our framer/officiant framed it for us right after the wedding, and I love looking at it on our wall. :)

(Personal photo)
While we promised to love and respect each other in writing, our guests were doing some signing of their own.

I'd planned to print a guestbook from our engagement pictures, but I panicked and asked Meg to print one for us instead. It's another favorite wedding keepsake of ours!

(Personal photos)
To make sure our guests knew that it was a guestbook and not just a collection of pretty pictures, we made sure to include some helpful signage. To do so, we pulled more mileage out of our invitation proofs, as I used the fancy "baroque" frame around the invitations to frame a cute little guestbook poem I found online (I didn't think of blogging about this when I did it, so I didn't save the source... sorry!).

We thought this photobook
would make a great souvenir
So if you have a wedding message,
please write it in here
Some words of wisdom,
encouragement, or a joke
A poem, a drawing, an anecdote
We'll look through it fondly
in years to come
So thanks for making
this book a special one!

We printed it out on a piece of card stock, cut it down to 5x7", and put it in an inexpensive acrylic frame from Target.

(Personal photo)
Probably unnecessary, but I was all about last minute projects (and I have a few more to show you before I'm done here!).

All photos by the astounding Meg Perotti, unless otherwise noted.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel (The First Look)
Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Hey Laaadies!

This Will Be Our Year: Hey Laaadies!

2010-06-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, and dudes, too!

(Hey, a barn! We had an accidentally rustic wedding!)
We had (what I think was) a really large wedding party. I liked the idea (in theory) of asking just a few people who were especially important to us, but it just so happened that we couldn't think of any less than enough people to make up a small army. Still, how awesome to have such a troop stand beside you on one of the most meaningful days of your life!

...or, you know, sit beside you!

(Photo by Regis Photography)
While there were some minor downsides to such a large wedding party (gifts got really expensive by the time we were done, and do you have any idea how difficult it is to get thirteen people to stand in the same position for long enough to take one good picture with no one blinking? ;), I can't imagine having done it any other way.

Mr. Spaniel asked his brother and five of his closest friends, who are all people I love dearly as well, to stand with him, while I asked three of my best friends, my two step-sisters, and my two (not-so-)little brothers to stand with me. We didn't worry about "balance" or aesthetics (or where they would stand at the ceremony or how they would recess up the aisle—which, as it turns out, is probably a good thing to think about at some point before the rehearsal!) when deciding who to ask. I absolutely think this was right for us, for the following reason:

Younger Brother Spaniel and Middle Brother Spaniel
I love my brothers. :) Sure, Mr. Spaniel likes them, too, and they seem to think he's just spiffy, but these are my people. If they'd spent all day with the groomsmen, I would have missed one of the most emotional moments of the day for me.

After my lovely bridesmaids helped me into my dress, my freshly-boutonniered and be-socked brothers came to join us for bridal party portraits. Seeing them in their tuxedos, all spiffed out for my wedding? It was all I could do to hold it together. It was the first of a few waves of incredibly strong emotion I felt that day: people will remind you, over and over again, to "be present" on your wedding day. I could NOT! But it was one of the powerful moments of the day that I doubt I will ever forget. A no-show vendor? A dress that doesn't fit? Insignificant. Your little brothers in fancy tuxedos, all dressed up for your wedding, with eyes misting at their sister in the full bridal get-up? WHOA! You're present. Even if it only lasts for a moment before the day starts rushing by you again.

All photos by the phenomenal Meg Perotti, unless otherwise noted.

Have you considered an uneven (or otherwise unorthodox!) wedding party? What were your reasons?

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel (The First Look)
Something Borrowed, Something Blue

This Will Be Our Year: Something Borrowed, Something Blue

2010-06-09T09:20:00.000-07:00

I haven't talked much about our flowers other than a tangential post of my "inspiration" bouquet, and I'm pretty happy I didn't over-think it. Instead, I asked Devi of Les Fleurs de Vie for a green, cream, and lavender bouquet in muted tones (with a more monochromatic green scheme for the bridesmaids), and decided not to get too particular about the details. The end result was soft and lovely, and perfect.

(BM-Noe models the bridesmaid bouquet)
(My tri-color rose bouquet)
Wait, does something seem... familiar? My something borrowed and blue came courtesy of the lovely Mrs. Quiche—a wedding gift to her from Mrs. Perfume! I like to think that I took a piece of the 'Bee with me on my wedding day. :)

All photos by the spectacular Meg Perotti.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel (The First Look)

This Will Be Our Year: Sneaky Spaniel

2010-06-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

There was never a question that Mr. Spaniel and I would do a "first look" before the ceremony. We wanted to sign our ketubah together, and we wanted to get all of our formals done before the ceremony so that we could enjoy the cocktail hour with our guests!

But we also wanted to be able to focus on each other and have a special moment the first time we saw each other on our wedding day—I was really worried we wouldn't have a chance to actually connect, so to speak—so we planned for it to be (mostly) private before heading into group and family pictures.

Mr. Spaniel, waiting and looking handsome...

It was so surreal seeing each other for the first time that day! I'm so glad that we had the chance to do this before the ceremony, because my fears were well-founded! Everything happened so fast and furious afterward—this way we actually had a few uninterrupted minutes to let everything sink in. (And also: a chance to check each other out!)

Did you opt to do a first look?

All photos by the amazing Meg Perotti.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos

This Will Be Our Year: Boutonnieres and Tuxedos

2010-05-27T08:29:00.000-07:00

The wedding day sure looks different from the other side of things. While my bridesmaids and I spent hours "in" hair and makeup (leaving us no time for anything other than room service), my groom and his men were able to head to the hotel restaurant for a long, relaxing brunch buffet. Hmph. On the other hand, they had to arrange their own transportation to the venue (we got to take the hotel shuttle, because we delicate flowers can't be bothered drive), and get way fewer pictures of them getting ready. ;)

We can draw the story out by starting when my brother-in-law (HA! I GET TO SAY THAT NOW!)'s girlfriend walked in with the guys' boutonnieres.

They were already dressed in their tuxedos when they arrived at Calamigos, so there wasn't much left to do but put on the finishing touches!

(Apparently that last one was problematic, judging from Middle Brother Spaniel's perplexed face, and the fact that two different people attempted to do it!)
Once the boutonnieres were safely attached, it was time for the glamor shots...

...or should I say, glamor SOCKS?

All photos by Regis Photography and the incomparable Meg Perotti.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New

This Will Be Our Year: Something New

2010-05-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

We arrived at the venue half an hour early (three hours before the scheduled ceremony time), but there were already guests milling about the property. GASP! Claudia, our ceremony site coordinator, quickly whisked us away into the bridal dressing room so I didn't get waylaid by the early birds.

(Puh-leez. There will be no hugging the bride until my wedding dress is on, thank you!)
And speaking of my wedding dress, I'd like to show you my "something new..."

(They might not be Prada, but they were still pretty! And comfortable enough to dance in all night!)
And speaking of my wedding dress being on...! Remember how I failed to feed myself before the wedding? I wasn't able to turn it around: my dress was too big!

How many bridesmaid does it take to dress a Spaniel?
(No joke; that dress was sliding right down my torso!)
Thanks to some quick thinking and a safety pin or two, I did not flash the wedding guests that night. Soon, all that was left to do was to get into my shoes before heading out for portraits.

I really like the juxtaposition of these two images. In both pictures, I can see my closest friends supporting me on my wedding day—in the first picture, you can see it pretty literally, as BM-Y basically held me up while I got my feet into those shoes. ;) The second picture is still part of the Spaniel-shoeing process, but it looks a lot calmer, doesn't it?

All photos by the fabulous Meg Perotti.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On

Economics of name-changing

2010-05-20T14:59:00.000-07:00

I'm always interested in how people reveal their preferences and values by how they spend their money—that's why I shared my budget early on. (I'm still planning to share the outcome with you, but I'll probably save that for the end.) And since I just completed the dreaded name change, I thought I'd share with you the process and the cost.

The order and prices may be different in different jurisdictions, but here's what I went through in Los Angeles County.

1. Get a certified marriage certificate from the County Registrar/Recorder. Cost: $14. This is the necessary first step pretty much everywhere, and one of the most annoying part of the process for me. I spent two hours in line at the Van Nuys office, so I'd recommend trying a different time of day (Tuesday at 12:30 appears to be a bad time to go in).

Before you get your copy, you'll want to make sure that your marriage license has been recorded, otherwise they'll take your $14 and you'll have to come back later and pay (and wait in line!) again. I don't know how long it takes after the wedding for the document to be recorded—our officiant mailed the license in on March 22, and the date of recording on our certificate is listed as March 26—so I'd probably wait a week or two weeks at least before attempting the first step.

2. Change your name with the Social Security Office. Cost: $0. You can find your local office here. I went to the Office in Glendale right after getting our record from Van Nuys, and there was no wait at all.

3. Change your name with the DMV and get a new driver's license/state identification card. Cost: $31 AND YOUR SOUL. (Mr. Spaniel just renewed his license and had to pay more than me, so this may or may not be an accurate amount.) I visited the DMV in Pasadena, which was ridiculously busy—I tried to sign up for an appointment online, but couldn't get one until the middle of June! I hear you can get appointments more quickly at the DMV in Lincoln Heights. Anyway, I walked in, waited in line for an hour just to get a number, and then was immediately called to a window. I got a temporary license with my new name, then was directed to another line to take a new picture (and oh my goodness am I glad I went home in between steps 2 and 3 to fix my hair and put on makeup, because I wasn't sure if they'd take a new picture or not and five to ten years of an ugly ID would just be upsetting!). And since my license was up for renewal soon anyway, I had to come back the next day, wait in a line again, check in for a written exam, wait in another line to take a written exam, actually take the written exam, and then wait in two more lines before I could get my updated interim license. Seriously, the guy ahead of me told me he'd been at the DMV for 4½ hours. Budget lots of time for this step.

4. Renew (or apply for) your passport. Cost: $110. This step can actually cost closer to $150 or more depending on your travel plans and whether or not you already have a passport, but I included the cost of the actual renewal application (you need Form DS-82) ($75); the cost of passport photos; paying for overnight return shipping (suggested by the State Department at $14.96 extra), a weather-proof, padded mailer and priority mailing with delivery confirmation (also suggested by the State Department). You'll need to include your marriage certificate, so make photocopies in advance.

If you're in a hurry, expedited processing costs an additional $60, and you'll probably want to overnight your application (about another $15). If you haven't had a passport before, there is another $25 processing fee. And if you're really in a hurry, you should make an appointment at a Regional Passport Agency.

5. Notify any professional or licensing agencies you belong to. Cost: $5. Lucky you if this doesn't apply to you, but I had to notify the State Bar of the name change right away via certified mail.

6. Notify your creditors and banks. Cost: $5. The cost of notifying your creditors really depends on how many you have—I only included the cost of postage here. My student loans have been bought, sold, consolidated, whatever over the years, and I discovered that I needed to send notice to six different lenders. Yikes! I made my own form letter and just merged the account information into each one, enclosed a photocopy of the marriage certificate, and mailed them off. I am waiting until I receive my new driver's license from the DMV (about four to six weeks, I'm told) to mail the notices to my bank so that I don't have any trouble with my ATM or credit cards not matching the name on the picture ID that I actually have.

All in all, my name change cost me $165, half a tank of gas, half of one day and a quarter of the next in line, and extreme mental anguish. ;) I guess that is how much Mr. Spaniel's desire to share a family name is worth to us! The funny part (to me) is that, because of a glitch in the system when we got our marriage license which caused Mr. Spaniel's new name not to be recorded correctly, Mr. Spaniel gets to do all of this again himself in a month or two once the amendment is processed! At least then we'll be even!

And with that, back to recaps!

This Will Be Our Year: Putting Our Faces On

2010-05-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

While MOH-S and BM-Noe did the dirty work and made phone calls when we found out that make-up artist was canceling on the day of my wedding, the hair stylist arrived. After chiding me for not calling her sooner so that she could bring her make-up and help me out (I have no idea why I didn't think of that), she got to work making me look pretty.

I wasn't sure exactly what I had wanted my hair to look like, so I brought this picture of Emmy Rossum during our earlier trial and told her, "like this, but lower on top and curlier on bottom."

(source)
Since Febe is my regular hair stylist, we'd had several chances to practice my 'do for the big day. The first time, we learned that my hair extensions hold curl much better than my natural hair does, so she used a holding spray on my hair the second time. The second time, we learned that my natural hair with holding spray holds curl better than the extensions do, so we used it on both the extensions and my own hair on the wedding day. Trial and error, right?

Also, because she is a magical hair mind-reader, Febe seemed to know exactly what I was talking about with my vague description, ignored my constant style-waffling, and got to work on pinning my curls and styling my extensions.

(She found my extension hanging system... amusing)
Outside of the bathroom, however, a miracle was occurring—or, rather, a miracle worker arrived. One of the many calls that MOH-S made during the morning was to Image Resorts in Camarillo. The receptionist placed a call to Aliona at home, who called us back to quote us a reasonable emergency makeup price, get hired, get directions and save the day. While Febe was curling my hair, Aliona prettified MOH-S and BM-Noe (who I hope will forgive me for posting these ridiculous pictures of her!).

When it was my turn, I showed Aliona the same picture of Penelope Cruz that I showed the first MUA.

(source)
And like the first time, I didn't look like Penelope Cruz in the end. DAMN IT AGAIN!

Aliona insisted that dark eye makeup was not "bride-appropriate" and that I had to go lighter. She also wouldn't put on fake eyelashes, telling me that, without a trial, they might fall out and it would be a disaster. I was not exactly in a position to find a new makeup artist with only a few hours left to go until the wedding, so I relented and figured I could ask her to change anything I didn't like when she was done.

(Primed and incredulous)
(What's with all the purple?)
Luckily lavender was one of my wedding colors, because I felt a little like Grimace when I looked in the mirror at first. Still, I was starting to warm up to the lavender eye shadow (but was definitely pretty iffy on the purple lipstick) while Febe finished off my hair.

When my hair was done and I got to see the look mostly completed, I decided I was on board with the purple Spaniel after all. The purple lipstick still looked weird and unnatural to me (of course, being a wearer solely of clear lip balm only would have made any color weird and unnatural), but I got positive feedback and I ended up really liking the way it came out in pictures. But I really loved the eye makeup. My eyes are on the dark side of brown, and they tend to look black in pictures. Even in these simple snapshots, I feel like my eye color looks much warmer and brighter. And in the pro shots? I HAVE EYELASHES!

(Photo by Meg Perotti)
After my hair was done, we had just enough time to clip my veil in, get the bridesmaids into their dresses, and hop into the shuttle to get to Calamigos and get me married!

Did anyone else find themselves doing their makeup trial on their wedding day? :)

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL

This Will Be Our Year: Vendor FAIL

2010-05-18T06:11:00.000-07:00

I can be a bit of a worrier at times, and like Miss Cola, I allay some of my anxiety by making back-up plans. This came in handy when I had to find a new DJ with less than two weeks to go before the wedding, because I had a list of phone numbers ready, our ceremony music all burned to a disc, and most of our other songs already downloaded should an iPod reception become a necessity (though where I would get the speakers, I hadn't figured out yet). Luckily, I didn't have to, because we found another DJ within two days who only charged a little more than our original, and who we trusted to show up (at that point, we hoped for little else).

Thanks to the-until-recently-Miss Rainbow, I taught myself how to do somewhat decent wedding makeup—more than I would normally wear, but still not enough to totally save my face from disappearing due to camera flashes—and had most of the necessary tools in my big makeup bag. But for whatever reason, the worrier in me decided to relax—maybe I thought the DJ fiasco would be my only wedding crisis?—and I left the big bag at home—I only packed my everyday makeup, what I would need for the honeymoon (a "kit" that includes only tinted moisturizer, bronzer and mascara). After all, I'd confirmed the location and arrival time the night before with the artist I had found on Craigslist who did my makeup for my bridal shower, and even though I didn't fall all over myself about the job she did, I felt at ease since she'd been so accessible and I could see my eyelashes in the pictures with the help of the fakies she applied.

What in the world was I thinking?

(source)
I woke up at 7:45 on Saturday and hopped in the shower while waiting for breakfast to be delivered to the room for me, BM-Noe, and MOH-S (my other bridesmaids planned to meet us later in the morning). When it arrived at 8:30, I decided take a quick look at my cell phone just to make sure there were no last minute questions from my vendors that I needed to refer to my Day-of-Coordinator. What I found instead was a text message from my make-up artist's "neighbor":

This is [No-show]'s neighbor. No-show was just taken to the hospital with a fever of 104 and is covered in a rash. She gave me your number so I could contact you and let you know she's not going to be able to do your wedding. She was literally more concerned about that than herself but she is very sick.

Funny how No-show's neighbor was able to send me a text message from No-show's phone, isn't it? Or how No-show was able to post new ads on Craigslist and continue to post to Facebook and Twitter, but not respond to my phone calls in the following weeks about returning my deposit for a month and a half afterward?

(source)
When I finished reading the message, I definitely started to panic. I barely had any makeup with me; what was I going to do? I'll tell you! I was going to sit back and let my amazing bridesmaids save the day!

MOH-S got right on the phone with her mother, who lived near the hotel where we were staying and had the number of all kinds of salons. She started calling them as soon as they opened, while BM-Noe talked me through our other options, like heading to the drug store to pick up the (many) items I was missing, or calling up the nearest MAC counter at a mall a few minutes away and getting us all in for some emergency wedding make-up. She also called my most stylish bridesmaid, BM-Y, to stop by a little earlier either to help us with our application (seriously, yo, we are clueless), or to make some phone calls herself since she had friends in beauty school (some training > no training!).

Many, many (many) phone calls were placed in the span of a half-hour... but did we find our miracle worker?

Were you stood up by a vendor? Were you able to resolve it?

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry

This Will Be Our Year: Watching Paint Dry

2010-05-14T01:33:00.000-07:00

So last time, I told you about my super busy month and a half after the wedding, but now that that's all over (yeah right), it's time to get into the wedding preparations!

The day before the Spaniel wedding, we gathered together in our home with a few of our closest friends for a non-traditional mehndi party. BM-Noe, an out-of-town-er, had spent the night since our rehearsal dinner was the evening before (two days before the wedding), so we decided to start our morning with a greasy homemade breakfast (the best kind). While Mr. Spaniel cooked and I did some frantic last-minute vacuuming, Best Man Fan (our photographer for the day!) and his girlfriend arrived.

We'd planned to keep the party really small for the first few hours so that the henna artist, Paula (of Lotus Henna), would have some room to work in our teeny-tiny apartment.

Reviewing the patterns we picked earlier
Setting up materials
For the next three hours, Paula diligently labored over my mehndi, while I froze like a little unprepared popsicle. Apparently henna sucks the heat right out of your skin, and a smarter Spaniel would have maybe worn a little longer of a sleeve. (A smarter Spaniel also would have done her hair or put on some make-up before taking pictures that would be plastered all over the 'Bee, but, um, oops.) But at least I didn't have to ask people to pull my sleeves up all day—they already had to feed me. ;)

I won't bore you with the process twice; here are both hands covered in wet henna paste.

Of course, we did my feet and palms as well.

In some parts of South Asia, men are also hennaed for weddings, though it's not common where my family comes from. But I couldn't leave Mr. Spaniel out of the fun when he wanted his own little paisley.

BM-Noe got into the action, too, and got a little ladybug of her own.

Photo by BM-Noe
(I suggested a paisley ladybug, but no one seemed to know what one would look like and I couldn't draw it for them with my wet henna-hands. Apparently, I can't draw it in Paint, either!)

Before she left, Paula instructed us to dab the henna with lemon juice mixed with sugar to keep it moist so that it didn't crack and fall off (allowing the stain to set for longer so that it would be darker), so I took the opportunity to be the laziest bum in the universe, letting Mr. Spaniel and BM-Noe take turns patting sugar-lemon juice onto my hands and feet. In the meantime, Mr. Spaniel mixed us up some mango lassi, while our friends picked up our delicious feast of naan, papadom, samosas, lamb, chicken, and lentil curries (ZOMG I was so full afterwards! Good thing, though; it was practically the last thing I ate all weekend!).

Meanwhile, a few other wedding party members arrived to have lunch and hang out. We ended up passing the time watching The Namesake (a must-see, I think, for anyone from an immigrant family or an interest in the Diaspora, but maybe not at your mehndi party!) and just chatting.

All in all, though it was nothing like the mehndi I'd originally hoped for or the one I later envisioned, our little henna party was one of the most perfect experiences leading up to the wedding. It was after seeing my henna done that it really started to sink in—I'm a bride! I'm getting married tomorrow! It was a surprisingly emotional event for me, and I'm so glad we were surrounded just by a small group of people who care about us, wished us well, didn't add to our stress and jitters, and were just plain fun to be around. It was a truly wonderful day!

All photos taken by BM-Fan, except where otherwise noted.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!

Spaniels' California Adventure: You Can (Sort of) Go Home Again

2010-05-13T06:36:00.000-07:00

Before we knew it, it was Sunday morning and time to go home.

On the road again
It was back to the grind of 5:00 AM alarms and commutes across the sprawl of Los Angeles; back to homework, studying, finals, and not drinking all the fabulous wine we came home with. I wouldn't exactly say I suffered from "post-wedding depression"... but man did reality hit hard after the honeymoon! Folks, if you can take an extra day or two readjusting your sleep clock before returning to real life, I highly recommend it!

I did have a few amazing things to look forward to when I got back though. Not only did I graduate law school just five short weeks (okay, five intensely long weeks) after we came back home from the honeymoon...

(Yes! I did graduate!)
...but I also knew I had the wedding recaps to look forward to! So while I wait for image files from my photographer and figure out how in the world I am going to write these recaps (why did no one tell me how hard they would be? Where do I even start?!), I have one more (huge, gigantic) thing keeping me entertained...

I was supposed to learn all of this during law school. I tell you, I did not.
So help a sister out! What do you find most helpful or interesting in wedding recaps?

Want to see where the adventure began?
Honeymoon Roadtrip
Sebastopol and Occidental
Timber Cove
Happy Cows Come from California
Carmel and Big Sur
Cambria

Spaniels' California Adventure: Cambria or Bust!

2010-05-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

After our disappointment at Hearst Castle, we Spaniels drove the lengthy and arduous six miles to our final honeymoon destination, the Fog Catcher Inn in Cambria.

But don't let the view from the front of the property fool you: we had a fabulous view of a retaining wall from our room. It can't be all panoramic ocean views all the time, now can it? :)

We only had one night in Cambria, and since it was a pretty familiar spot for us (if you remember, we took our first set of engagement photos there with Mr. Spaniel's family), we didn't do much other than sandwich crapping out big-time with dinner and breakfast. We did manage to get a pretty awesome vegetarian dinner at Robin's Restaurant and a delish breakfast with ollalieberry jam at Linn's, and to take some really silly pictures for you, but that's about it.

Aforementioned silly pictures
Our only goal in Cambria was to relax enough to brace ourselves against coming back home by relaxing as much as possible. We pretty much achieved it.

Want to see where the adventure began?
Honeymoon Roadtrip
Sebastopol and Occidental
Timber Cove
Happy Cows Come from California
Carmel and Big Sur

Spaniels' California Adventure: Carmel and Big Sur: THWARTED, and THWARTED AGAIN!

2010-05-10T12:49:00.000-07:00

On Thursday morning, we started to make our way down to our next stop, the Tickle Pink Inn in Carmel. This leg of our trip was a wedding gift from the Spaniel-in-laws, who stayed at the same hotel on their own honeymoon thirty-five years ago!

Day 5 route (source)
As beautiful as it was, though, going to Carmel and Monterey was a little bittersweet: our trip was more than half over! It also marked the end of our beautiful and amazing sojourn in Sonoma County, which is absolutely one of the nicest places I've ever been!

But it's hard to feel bad for too long when the view out out of the full-wall of windows in your hotel room looks like this.

(Taken from different corners at different times of day)
We actually were able to see whales from our window the first morning! They were too far away and moved too quickly for me to photograph, though.

Most of this leg of our trip seemed to be spent eating, but we also took the 17 Mile Drive after hearing some of the other guests at the Tickle Pink Inn raving about it.

It. Was. Boring. As. Hell. And the biggest waste of $9.25 and our time I can imagine. I don't even have a good picture of it, it was so boring. Maybe it's worth it if you actually want to golf at Pebble Beach, but I saw much more beautiful scenery for free driving to Carmel from Jenner.

Still, there were some beautiful things other than our hotel room in Carmel; we did manage to take in some gorgeous scenery on a walk at Point Lobos.

A note: if you come to Carmel in March and want to go hiking, bring something warmer than a sweatshirt. :) We left pretty quickly before I froze to death. THWARTED!

We left Carmel early on Saturday to give us time to soak in Big Sur down the PCH, and make a stop at Hearst Castle before our last destination before the honeymoon was over.

I had high expectations for Big Sur, I'm not going to lie. And if we'd started our trip in Los Angeles and gone gradually north up the coast, it probably would have met them. But after seeing the amazing views further north—rocky cliffs next to the wild Pacific, with redwood and fir forests on the other side of the road—most of Big Sur just couldn't compete!

Day 7 route (source)
It was still pretty gorgeous, though... I definitely will be back, someday.

After a few hours in the car, we passed the elephant seals at San Simeon before getting to the visitor center at Hearst Castle.

Sadly, this is the only picture you'll see from us here, because when we got inside, we discovered that every tour had sold out, for the entire day. THWARTED AGAIN!

Luckily Mr. Spaniel and I had been there before so it wasn't the end of the world, but if you're planning on stopping by on a Saturday, it's probably a good idea to know what time you'll be there and reserve your tickets in advance!

Want to see where the adventure began?
Honeymoon Roadtrip
Sebastopol and Occidental
Timber Cove
Happy Cows Come from California

Spaniels' California Adventure: Happy Cows Come From Here

2010-05-05T05:49:00.000-07:00

We saw a LOT of cows driving around the coast. Between Guerneville and Timber Cove we actually found a whole herd just hanging out on the Pacific Coast Highway, with a nearby rancher on horseback watching over them. Word to the wise: when you see cow crossing signs on PCH? Drive slowly. They mean it, and you never know what blind curve has a big cow waiting on the other side for you!

I imagine this is what the commercials are rerferring to when they say that "happy cows come from California"—there was lots and lots of room to roam around, the grass was green, and, seriously, can you beat the view these cows had?

Cows with a view!

Want to see where the adventure began?
Honeymoon Roadtrip
Sebastopol and Occidental
Timber Cove

Spaniels' California Adventure: Timber Cove

2010-05-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

Our next stop was just north of Jenner at the Timber Cove Inn.

Day 3 route (source)
TCI (because we're tight like that, I can call it TCI) is a former artists' retreat, and it's not hard to tell why: it's absolutely inspiring.

(One-third of the view from our balcony)
(One-third view on the other side of the balcony)
(The middle-third of the view from the balcony)
I pretty much would have been willing to spend our entire two days in Jenner watching the sky and the ocean from the sitting are in the suite (the panoramic views were visible from the room, which was surrounded by windows on three sides... no need to head out into the windy cold!), but Mr. Spaniel and I are movers and shakers! We had things to do! Well, we had more wineries to visit. :)

Annapolis, CA (population... 85? 23?) is about halfway between Timber Cove and Gualala, and then seven miles up... or in... or around, I'm not really sure. At the top? is Annapolis Winery, a small, family-owned winery with a free tasting room (yay!). This wasn't really our favorite wine—we left with a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, but I've bought whites I liked as much for less than half the price—but it was probably our favorite winery... just look at the grounds!

(We both felt compelled to frolic about the meadow)
In fact, if I could redo my wedding and didn't care about how hard this location is to get to (and it is pretty far from everything), I would totally do it here. (So if you're looking for a remote wine country wedding venue? Um, please pick Annapolis, and blog about it?)

There wasn't much else to do in this part of the state, but it was too beautiful to be bored. But after two too-short days, we began the trip southward to Destination 3, Carmel...

Want to see where the adventure began?
Honeymoon Roadtrip
Sebastopol and Occidental

Spaniels' California Adventure: Sebastopol and Occidental

2010-04-26T05:48:00.000-07:00

When we got up on Monday morning, we decided to check out the view from the wetland preserve behind the Sebastopol Inn from the balcony.

It wasn't much, but it was better than the parking lot on the other side!
Rather than sit and admire the view, we decided to start our vacation... and how else but with food?

Some quick Yelping told us that Howard Station Cafe in neighboring Occidental was the best breakfast game in town, and we wouldn't know any better, because it was so good we went there both days we were in the area. They had...

the lightest, fluffiest Belgian waffle I've ever had (with real maple syrup!)...

and this hot number! (Er, the coffee! It was organic, and really tasty!)
I got a lot of compliments from the waitstaff on my henna, followed by questions about whether it was permanent. I guess they don't get a lot of subcontinental honeymooners in the area!

After packing away that yummy breakfast, we headed to our first winery stop: Iron Horse Vineyards, which had a beautiful outdoor tasting room. Luckily, it was a gorgeous day, perfect for drinking chilled sparkling wines!

We tasted both a still and sparkling flight—the still was good, but the sparkling was better. One of the owners was pouring for us, and once she learned we were newlyweds, she gifted us a bottle of their Wedding Cuvée!

Although I preferred the dryer Blanc de Blancs, in another fit of generosity, I gave in when Mr. Spaniel wanted to buy a bottle of the Russian Cuvée. We don't actually drink enough sparkling wine to justify paying for two bottles at vineyard prices, so this was a pretty big sacrifice. ;)

The cool wine was refreshing, but I wasn't in the mood to drink anymore when we were done, so we decided to skip Dutton and Marimar, neither of which I'd heard of until the night before. Instead, we headed off for lunch at a Mexican restaurant I can't remember the name of (it wasn't that great), walked around town, took a nap (wine tastings are generally bad for that whole "being awake" thing for me), and headed back into Occidental for dinner at Bistro Des Copains (the higher-rated French Garden in Sebastopol was closed on Mondays).

We decided that this would be our "big night out" of the trip—an obvious mistake, as we ended up having several more "big nights out" before the end of the week—and so instead of ordering a glass of the house red, as I usually do when I'm feeling frugal, we "splurged" on $13 glasses of Dutton Estate Pinot Noir. And then I died and went to heaven and came back and drank some more wine, so we spent a few minutes regretting not making it to their tasting room during the day before deciding we'd go when they opened the following day before leaving for Road Trip Destination #2. Luckily, it was only a short drive away, so after another yummy breakfast, we headed over to Dutton Estate Winery for a tasting.

They actually offer food and wine pairings as part of their tastings (I think it was $25 or $35 per person, some of which is waived with wine purchase), but we were too full to try it. Next time!

We really, really enjoyed this tasting, not only because we tried three 90+ point pinot noirs, but also because the sommalier was really friendly, telling us all about the town, the families who lived there, who owned what restaurant and which vineyards leased land from whose backyard to grow their grapes, and we got the sense that it was really a community of people who like wine, rather than the huge and mostly impersonal wineries we've seen elsewhere (I'm looking at you, Napa!). But clearly the stories and the wine went a little to our heads, because we ended up joining our first wine club (mostly for the 30% discount on the four bottles of wine we ended up buying, but still). Oops!

After wandering around the vineyard for a little while, we started the short trek westward, stopping at the Armstrong Redwoods State Natural Reserve along the way. This was one of my favorite parts of the trip.

(For reference, Mr. Spaniel is about 6'2")
If you've never been by, I highly recommend it if you'll be anywhere near the area. It's so green and quiet that it's actually somewhat alarming (especially, I imagine, if you're from a noisy city like Los Angeles!).

It was a short stop, though, because by then we were starving! Off we went, to the wild(?) Sonoma Coast!

Want to see where the adventure began?
Honeymoon Roadtrip

Spaniels' California Adventure: Honeymoon Roadtrip

2010-04-18T19:01:00.000-07:00

Though I am a sucker for all things chronological (am I? I don't know, but it seemed like the right thing to say), I'm going to start at the end—with our honeymoon! I can't wait to tell you all of the exciting wedding stories (and show you the beautiful pictures! I have seen the on-line gallery, and lo, it was good!), but while we Spaniels wait for the full disc, I thought I would regale you with the harrowing and heroic tale of...

Yet we didn't go to Anaheim...*

As I mentioned before the wedding, Mr. Spaniel and I planned a road trip adventure for our honeymoon starting with a long (very, very long) drive from Malibu to Sebastopol, a small town in the Russian River Valley of Sonoma County.

Day 1 route (source)
We took the opportunity to sleep in a little and got a late start on Sunday morning—too late for breakfast, which is the first (and worst) step towards a cranky Spaniel. So we decided to go through a fast food drive through and grab me some Cini-minis so that I could act human.

I hadn't had them since high school, but man did they hit the spot! (source)
This was around when it started to hit me that, HEY, I'm MARRIED! See, I don't like to share food. If you want Cini-minis, you buy yourself some Cini-minis, because I ordered myself as much as I plan to eat. And so on. But when Mr. Spaniel asked for a half of one while he was driving, I actually offered him a whole Cini-mini. (Does that sound like it's not a big deal? No, it's totally a big deal.) It's like I finally realized that, yes, I will eat again, that as soon as I tell him I am hungry he will find a place for us to eat, and it's okay if I share my food with him while it's in front of me. I don't usually think of myself as a terribly selfish person anyway, but in that moment, I really felt like if it was mine, it was his. We'd been living like a married couple for a long time already, but I'd never felt that way before. It was a really nice feeling. Even if it was predicated on crappy junk food.

We stopped for a late lunch at Harris Ranch in Coalinga, which is famous for its beef (and has the cow manure smell around the exterior to prove it—ah, Central Valley and your sweet aroma!). Mr. Spaniel had the tri-tip Caesar salad, which was a little weird, and I had the flank steak flatbread pizza, which was delicious. (I let him eat some of that, too. Who am I?!)

We made it to our destination in Sebastopol a little after dark, and we were exhausted. So we grabbed a map of the local wineries, marked off the ones we wanted to make sure to visit the next day (Iron Horse Vineyards for its bubbly, Dutton Estate Winery for its pinot noir, and Marimar Estate for its organic wines), and passed out for the night.

Coming up next: wine country in the daytime! With actual pictures, because my camera was no longer in my luggage at the bottom of the trunk!

* Image modified from one found here.

This Will Be Our Year: The Spaniels Are Married!

2010-03-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

Really! See, here it is, happening!

(guest photo)
The year and a half that we spent preparing for the day—and the four months I spent blogging here!—really paid off: once we got started, everything felt effortless. Which is not to say I don't have some blips and bloopers to tell you about, but you'll just have to wait until I get to those parts of the story. ;)

We don't have pro pics yet (but, what difference?—I don't even have time to go through the three gigs of guest photos we've managed to collect so far), but I wanted to check in with you lovely people and leave you with a little something-something from the wedding before I settle back into student mode for the next month or so.

Up next: the honeymoon!

Until then, signing off briefly,
Mrs. Spaniel

Oh my, how time buzzes on by!

2010-03-19T05:37:00.000-07:00

They say that the older you get, the faster time flies. It seems that's true of engagements, as well! When Mr. Spaniel and I got engaged back in September 2008, March 2010 seemed impossibly far off. And when I became a Bee blogger in November 2009, it still felt like I had all the time in the world to share all of the wedding details with the 'Hive!

Then it was 2010, and I started to realize that time was running short. And now it's the day before my wedding! It hardly feels real; it all happened so fast!

Thank you so much for allowing me the honor of sharing my planning journey with you all. It's been such an adventure, and you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to sharing the results of all of these months of planning with you!

Until then, yours (for the last time!),

MISS Spaniel

The right way to do a Jewish-Pakistani wedding

2010-03-16T21:47:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I've been somewhat resistant to playing Hava Nagila at the wedding. Then I accidentally heard this version, and was sold.

Of course, after further consideration, I realized that people trying to run in circles on a dance floor at a pace to keep up with this tempo could be dangerous! So, armed with the realization that traditional songs could be made fun and new, I searched on! And what I found? Pure gold, I tell you, pure gold.

(The good stuff starts at about 0:22.)

Tell me you've ever seen anything that funny anywhere. Go on, I dare you. You're lying.

And it smells like Easter eggs!

2010-03-15T20:59:00.000-07:00

Mr. Spaniel and I often joke about needing a counselor for our green disputes—I get really annoyed sometimes when he chides me for using plastic "Tupperware"-like containers for my lunch, while he fails to appreciate the genius that is my request for a more vegan lifestyle. I think his "greenness" is motivated by health concerns, whereas mine are more ethical/environmental (and sometimes financial). But we both agreed that commercially-available household cleaners are just bad, and, as I mentioned last week that I make my own household cleaners.

Even though I saw the need, giving up my Windex, Clorox and 409 was kind of rough. I'm kind of a neat freak, and I have a thing for Old English lemon-scented furniture polish and freshly-bleached toilet bowls (yes, really). I wasn't totally on-board yet when he picked up a book of organic and homemade "recipes" from the library that he thought would work just as well. Happily, I was wrong! They work just as well, they're safe to to keep around the house (no fumes to hurt you, babies or pets!), and they're really inexpensive to boot! I'll share the recipe for a few of my go-tos, and you can try them for yourself.

Almost all of the recipes I've found revolve around water, vinegar, and essential oils. We get our essential oils online, but they sell them at Whole Foods, too.

All-purpose cleaner
I use this one on tiles, tubs, glass, and spot cleaning on the floor. It's pretty much good for just about any household surface except for wood (and it's okay for that, too).
- Distilled water
- Vinegar
Mix in equal parts. I store it in a spray bottle, so it's always ready to go.

Kitchen and bathroom "scrub"
- Water
- Baking soda
This seriously works on everything, and better than my soft scrub bleaches ever did. Sprinkle a generous amount of baking soda on the area you want to clean (for me it's usually burned food on the stove or a pan!), and scrub with the abrasive side of a damp sponge. Just don't spray the all-purpose cleaner on it like I stupidly did at first; they neutralize each other and nothing gets cleaned.

Wood cleaner/polish
- All-purpose cleaner
- Olive oil
- Rosemary essential oil (antiseptic) (optional)
Put a few drops of olive oil and rosemary essential oil on a cloth, spray the wood with the all-purpose cleaner, and rub the oils in. Easy!

If you'd like more "recipes," the best resource I've found is Better Basics for the Home: Simple Solutions for Less Toxic Living, which has an organic version of pretty much everything I ever use at home, including some really good skincare mixes.

Let me know if you try any of these!

Juggling my stressballs

2010-03-14T18:38:00.000-07:00

I thought about writing this post as part of my recaps, but, truth? I don't want to think about these "dark days" again after the wedding, so it's now or never!

(source)
When I first started blogging for the 'Bee, I got a few comments from engaged and married ladies trying to balance wedding planning with law school (or who had already done it), asking me how I was juggling them. The truth is, I am a very bad juggler, and one ball or the other is just about always getting dropped (I'll give you one guess as to which one!).

Those of you who are in/have been through law school can attest to how stressful it can get right around the middle of the term and onward (and I'm sure most graduate students have a similar experience). Throw an imminent wedding into the mix, and I'm finding myself dissolving into tears over not being able to find my parking permit in the morning before my 1.5-hour commute to school (which became two hours because I hit more traffic after the lost time crying in the carport and trying to calm myself back down after I found it). I've got myself so worked up over inconsequentials that I actually need to add another thing to my to-do list: scheduling a massage to work out the debilitating knot I've developed in my left shoulder!

I am trying to delegate as much as possible—Mr. Spaniel has taken over handling the DJ fiasco (an update: we've found another DJ—thank goodness!—and have been promised a refund for the old one, which I am sorry to say I will believe when I see it) and scheduling transportation (etc.), but I can't delegate studying for exams or packing for the honeymoon. I can't delegate working out or remembering to feed myself (oh, and I totally understand now why so many brides accidentally lose weight before their weddings... I have NO TIME TO EAT!). I am thinking that it might have been smart to pick a date that wasn't in the middle of the semester. :)

Anyone face more stress than they expected leading up to the wedding? How did you handle it? Would you have done anything differently in hindsight?

Week of

2010-03-13T00:00:00.000-08:00

HOLY SHIT it is the WEEK OF MY WEDDING!!!

This week I have to

Reconfirm arrival times with all vendors
I've sent emails to everyone, and my coordinator is on it!
Delegate small wedding day tasks to friends and family
I haven't given this much thought, to be honest... I am hoping the coordinator will let my family off the hook. ;)
Send final timeline to bridal party
Done! But I'm going to send it again so no one forgets!
Make arrangements for the dress to be delivered or pick it up yourself
I brought it to my mom's house yesterday, and she'll be bringing it to the hotel on Friday.
Supply photographer with a list of moments you want captured
On it!
Set aside checks and tip envelope for vendors
I'll be taking care of that this week.
Book spa treatment
Like I'd forget!
Send final guest count to caterer and venues
We do this at the rehearsal on Thursday!
Break in shoes
I've been wearing them around the house since I got them!
Assemble welcome baskets and distribute
We are not providing welcome baskets.
Pack for honeymoon
I'm doing that this weekend. Is it weird that I'm totally looking forward to packing?

I also have to make sure arrangements are all taken care of for the Rehearsal and Rehearsal dinner on Thursday night, the mehndi on Friday afternoon, and, like, make sure I don't go crazy before then.

Maybe I'll get them a toaster...

2010-03-11T06:17:00.000-08:00

One of the items Mr. Spaniel and I were really excited to register for was a soda siphon.

(source)
We sort of fancy ourselves as (future) DIY-ers: he has a little herb and vegetable garden growing outside of our apartment door, and I like to make things (both for fun and to save money—mostly we make a lot of our own household cleaners and usually cook from scratch). We also are both really into healthy living, but not because it's always pleasurable—sometimes we have to find little hacks to make doing what's good for us into something we like doing.

Specifically, for me, giving up caffeinated, sugary sodas was (and continues to be) a huge struggle—the only thing I've found that helps at all is drinking coffee or tea in the mornings (getting my caffeine in, which I hear isn't that bad in moderation), and carbonated water with lunch. So I've got the healthy part, but what about the money-saving part? Bottles of San Pellegrino sparkling water are expensive, yo, especially when you go through as many of them as I do, so we both thought it would be great(!) to add a soda siphon to our Amazon.com registry.

Now Mama Spaniel likes to keep abreast of what has been purchased from our registries—it's like a new hobby of hers; she checks more closely than I do!—but when she told me that the soda siphon had been purchased, she was laughing. I didn't understand why—it's such a cool and unique gift! But then she explained: apparently, the same way an American couple without a wedding registry is sure to end up with three toasters and two blenders (or so the warnings go), my step-father told her that in Israel, where he's from, every couple ends up with a soda siphon or two as a wedding gift. Huh... how useful! :) Who knew?

Did you learn anything interesting in the registry process?

Fixation

2010-03-08T17:26:00.000-08:00

I needed a focus for all of my wedding anxiety, and I picked the DJ, who I found through The Pros. I was afraid that she wouldn't show up on the day of and I wouldn't know until it was too late, and we'd have no music. I acknowledged that this was completely irrational, but I clung to my fear. We booked with a big corporation that wouldn't let us contact our DJ in advance (the one DJ who specializes in the bhangra music we wanted at the wedding), but put on every contract that she was "confirmed", so I made my final payment over the weekend.

Monday evening, my DOC calls me and tells me she got a phone call from someone at The Pros, saying that my DJ is unavailable and I have to choose between one of the two remaining DJs in Los Angeles—let's call them BoyBand and PipSqueak, neither of whom have any background in the kind of music I booked the company for. I won't be music-less, but if I want to hear the music I'd been so excited about for the wedding, I will pretty much need to collect all of the music for them. I don't have time for that!

Why they called my DAY OF COORDINATOR (I told them to add her as a contact for the day of only, but that didn't stop them from calling her instead of the person who just paid them, go figure), I couldn't tell you, but since The Pros is based on the east coast, there was no one to take my call, on top of my contact there being out of the office until the 11th.

I'm actually sort of frothing at the mouth right now/in the middle of one of the worst headaches I've had in a long time because I'm so mad. Don't book with The Pros! Not if you care who your DJ is.

So I have a couple of options: I can use one of their DJs and bust my ass trying to put together the play list that I shouldn't have had to work on myself, I can use one of their DJs and just forget my Bhangra music, or I can go to the bank tomorrow and close my account so that they can't get the balance payment I made, and find a new DJ. What would you do?

Anyone else's vendors throw down some last-minute shenanigans?

Too cutesy for my own good!

2010-03-08T06:23:00.000-08:00

Unlike many of you, I didn't get creative asking my bridesmaids to be, well, my bridesmaids.

(Unlike mplnewsdallas, who had these beautiful cards custom-made!)
I asked most of my ladies in person, and one over the phone. Luckily they all said yes, despite my lack of effort. ;) Speaking of which, if any of my bridesmaids is reading this, shoo!

Well, I decided to make it up to them with more thoughtful thank you cards. After all, I kind of knew they would all say yes, being my three best friends and my two step-sisters. I mean, they're kind of stuck with me! But that didn't mean that they had to do anything for me after agreeing (and, hey, some of them didn't, but that's a story for another day!)—so I made up for my early laziness with some homemade thank you cards.

I know I'm not much of a DIY bride—printing some thank you cards and lining an envelope or two...hundred does not put me on a level with our most talented Bees!—but when I saw these adorable cards on Etsy, I couldn't help but think, "HEY! I can do that!"

(source)
So I started by assessing my resources. I still had quarter-sheet size ivory envelopes and ivory card stock from the thank you card "project," and black linen cardboard scraps that didn't get used for the programs or rehearsal dinner invitations.

I started by printing up a background or "frame" in Microsoft Word. I made a two-column document and inserted two clip art images (also known as, the same image twice) that were the size of a quarter-sheet of paper on the right top and right bottom.

Because I was feeling cutesy, I also wrote in a little "Handmade with ♥ by [Spaniel]" on the left, and printed three copies on my black and white laser printer.

Then, looking at a picture of the bridesmaid dress, I drew a rough silhouette of the dress on black card stock and cut it by hand.

(bridesmaid dress photo source)
Then I used the "template" and traced the waistline onto a piece of ivory card stock to draw the sash in the correct size, and cut the bow/ribbon from a separate piece of ivory card stock—an extra layer for texture. Then I glued them all together onto the card and, voilà! Bridesmaid thank you card!

I love that it didn't take too long, because I plan to pour my heart out into the content, instead. :)

How are you thanking your bridesmaids?

Spaniel in the shower

2010-03-04T07:29:00.000-08:00

I know makeup trial pictures, but with the wedding right around the corner and only a limited number of posts left in me until I'm an old married blogger, this one is going to have to do double duty! So now that I have pictures, I can finally show you what happens when Spaniels get showered!

(source)
Ahem. Since BM-Y was organizing my bachelorette party with some of my bridesmaids, Spaniel FMIL offered to host a bridal shower for me last month to help keep the bridesmaids' burden light. She threw an awesome party!

(All photos below by Aunt Spaniel)

There was cake! There were also other desserts (including some red velvet cupcakes that have threatened to derail my fitness plan because they were so good I now want them all the time)!

There was loot!

There was bridal bingo! BM-Noe called items with her teacher voice.

There was wine! I drank it, as I am wont to do. (Also: I have decided that I mostly like my makeup, but I do not look like Penelope Cruz.)

There was a ribbon bouquet! Step-sister/BM-M assembled it. She's actually a great artist, so maybe this will be worth something someday. ;) (Did I mention that I mostly like my makeup? I'm going to ask for a slightly smokier eye, and either a more brown blush or just less of it. More eye, less cheek, I think. What do you think?)

There was a huge group shot! A few people had to leave early; the group was even bigger than this!

Fun times!

Make me over: Trials and tribulations of a brunette bride

2010-03-02T23:41:00.000-08:00

I had every intention of doing my own wedding day makeup. I don't wear much on a regular basis and I'm a total klutz when it comes to precision application (eyeliner scares the bejesus out of me), but I'd be damned if I was paying $250 for makeup I wasn't sure I'd like. I'd checked out every portfolio the Internet could offer me, and what I found was a lot of this:

(source)
and this:

(source)

Do they both look amazing and beautiful? Absolutely! But do they look anything like me? Not in a million years! I just couldn't imagine this kind of bridal make-up transplanted from a fair-skinned blond, or a woman with beautiful East Asian features, onto my face. Let's just say my make-up needs were different.

Not to be quickly discouraged, I started looking at MUAs who specialized in South Asian make-up, or looking for inspiration among Persian brides who tend to share my coloring. But most of what I saw was far too dark for my taste. It's hard to go from wearing almost no color to imagining such saturated color on your skin.

So then I was discouraged.

I sat on this for a little while and didn't start thinking again about wedding make-up until a few weeks ago. I wasn't feeling so great about doing my own makeup anymore. My lashes always disappear in photos, and despite Miss Rainbow's awesome lash tutorial, I couldn't seem to get false lashes on straight without multiple applications. And I still can't get a damn straight line with my eye liner. I didn't want to have to be worrying about reapplying botched eye makeup on my wedding day, so I started looking again for an MUA that I could afford (and who would offer a free trial, because I still didn't find a single woman in any Los Angeles area MUA's portfolio who had my complexion but wasn't covered in super dark makeup).

I finally found someone whose other work I liked and whose prices weren't going to kill me, but I needed to find some inspiration pictures to bring in. Without many real bride photos to share, I started to think of celebrities. Who did I want to look like?

Well, that was an easy question. How do you say "gorgeous" en español?

(source)
Obviously I looked nothing like Penelope Cruz when we were done (DAMN IT!), but was I happy with the results anyway? Find out... next time! ;)

Was there a celebrity's look you tried to emulate for your makeup style?

Penumbra

2010-03-01T06:05:00.000-08:00

Mr. Spaniel and I both spend a lot of time on the go, and that means that we're pretty hooked on our Google Calendars. I would have missed a lot of appointments if I didn't have a web-based calendar that I could access just about anywhere.

As we are becoming more of a social "unit," it's become harder to make plans without knowing each other's schedules. We already have a fully-shared calendar for our mutual commitments, but to further combat the problem—to make mutual appointments without waiting for a response on when the other is free—Mr. Spaniel shared his calendars with me a few days ago. We both use multiple calendars so that we can color-code them on our own accounts; he gave me full views of all of his (of course he left his work calendar more private so that I could see when he was busy, but not exactly what he was doing or who he was meeting with) and suggested I do the same.

The downside of sharing calendars: I feel even busier than ever!
I started to share my calendars, but left the details hidden—on all of them, not just my work calendars (which aren't confidential, anyway). Of course I have nothing to hide from Mr. Spaniel, and I don't anticipate needing to in the future. But just like we don't share our passwords with each other, I held back. So we both thought it was a good time for a discussion about privacy in our marriage and how much we wanted to share and keep back from each other.

We ended up deciding that, for us at least, it would be healthier if we didn't have to always answer to each other about where we would be at every hour of the day. It's helpful for me to know that Mr. Spaniel I shouldn't schedule a vendor appointment that he wants to go to because he's with a client, or that we can't do a double date on an evening when he already has plans with a friend. But I don't need to know which friend or where they're meeting (not that he wouldn't tell me anyway) all the time. I suppose, since I trust him completely, it feels healthier for us to just be able to live our lives without a constant accounting of how time is spent. We may decide to revisit this in the future, but for now, I'm pretty happy with our arrangement. I know when he is busy (and he knows when I am busy), and more information is on a voluntary basis.

Did you and your partner discussed privacy with each other? What solution did you come up with?

Hey, everybody, look at us!

2010-02-25T06:14:00.000-08:00

Mr. Spaniel and I just got back from our first dance lesson. Why dance lessons, you ask? Are we going to rock the reception?

(An aside: aren't they amazing?)
Well, not exactly. We actually are just learning a simple waltz—no mean feat, given my two left feet! (Nyuck nyuck nyuck.)

Incorporating my family's wedding traditions has been pretty easy—I've been to Jewish and Pakistani weddings, and there are so many aspects of each that are highly visible, but also totally secular. If the groom smashes a glass at the end of a wedding ceremony and the crowd shouts, "mazel tov!", you know you have just witnessed a Jewish wedding! Wearing henna and playing Indian dance music easily signals to guests that we are bringing in aspects of other cultures. But since Mr. Spaniel is a bit further removed from his Scandinavian heritage (his family has been in the U.S. a lot longer than mine has!), we had a harder time figuring out how to incorporate his culture in an obvious way. A search for "Danish wedding traditions" yielded this:

In Denmark, there is a traditional wedding custom of building an arch of pine branches, called the Gate of Honor, in front of the bride's family home. Another Gate of Honor is built when the couple celebrates their silver anniversary.

At some point during the marriage celebration the groom will disappear and the male guests all kiss the new bride. After the groom returns his bride eventually leaves the room and all of the female guests kiss him.

At a traditional Danish reception the guests will all gather around the groom, during the dancing and festivities, to cut his tie and socks with scissors.

The Danish marzipan ring cake is the customary wedding cake in Denmark. Also called the cornucopia cake, it is made with almonds, pastilage and marzipan. On the outside, the cake is beautifully decorated with sugar work. On the inside it is filled with fresh fruit, candy and almond cakes.

To avoid bad luck, the newlyweds cut the cake together as a married couple and all of the reception guests must eat a piece.

(source)
Well, we're Angelenos, and that means that until we're pretty much millionaires, we'll be apartment dwellers. And that means that building pine arches in our common areas is not happening. And the groom's tie is rented, so it probably wouldn't go over well if it was cut when it was returned! (The socks, which we ended up finding at golfknickers.com? Way too awesome to cut!) And worst of all, the bride is allergic to almonds and marzipan! We want to leave our wedding to go to our honeymoon, not the emergency room!

We kept searching around the ww web for ideas until we struck gold: the Danish wedding waltz! Mr. Spaniel read that the traditional first dance at a Danish wedding is a bridal waltz, and that guests line the dance floor, gradually moving closer and closer to the couple until there is no more room for them to dance. While we can't really verify the authenticity of this tradition as a general rule, we did find this awesome video, which inspired us.

We also found a really nice version of the Brudevalsen (the particular piece being played) that FBIL-Spaniel was able to cut to the correct length for us, since we won't have our own orchestra playing behind the DJ stand. ;)

We're currently circulating the video around for our wedding party and hoping they can help lead our guests, with a few extra cues from the DJ. We won't be bringing the house down with our killer moves, but I'm pretty excited about what we were able to learn in a lesson, and really jazzed that we found something from Mr. Spaniel's side to include!

How did you incorporate your FI's cultural traditions into your wedding?

What's old is new again

2010-02-24T06:31:00.000-08:00

Remember when I was worried that I wouldn't have enough old family wedding pictures for my "something old"? Well, I decided not to use them as table numbers, but instead to display them next to our guest book, but not because we didn't have enough pictures—my family came through BIG TIME—just because I thought the effect was more awesome when they are all together. I picked up a whole bunch of mismatched frames on clearance at Target (ranging from $0.98 to $3.48) in mostly 5x7" sizes (with some 4x6" and 8x10" thrown in for some variety) and went nuts.

Want to see? Here are a few of my favorites. I'll start with the newest.*

(Photos by Kenny Backer and Ken Portnoy)
My mom was remarried this summer, and his daughter married just a few months later. I was in both of their weddings, which makes these two extra fun to display! These were easy to come by, since both were taken in the digital photo era. After these two, it gets more complicated!

A lot of my parents' wedding pictures were discolored from age and looked very red and yellow. I wish I could have corrected the color after my step-dad scanned them for me (we printed all of these pictures at Costco on matte paper so that no one had to worry about their originals), but I almost am happier with the old, aged effect. It's less obvious this way that we're looking at a picture printed in 2010 instead of 1978. :) Just in case Papa Spaniel's spiffy suit didn't give it away!

These pictures were a little touchy to include—my parents divorced about five years ago and I didn't want anyone to feel bad seeing them. I compromised by using smaller pictures (but using two of them... they are my parents, after all!).

Mr. Spaniel's parents didn't have any prints from their wedding, or any formal portraits. We had to take a teeny-tiny slide to a photo lab to get this one printed! It will be displayed next to the picture of Mr. Spaniel's grandparents, one of only two originals that will be on display (so far). I think Mr. S looks just like his grandfather.

The couple on the left are my great-grandparents: the photo was taken on their fifth wedding anniversary in 1932 and was colored later as a gift to my grandmother. It's the other "original" we'll be displaying. I think I get such a kick out of this picture because it's fun to see my great-grandfather—the lone blue-eyed blond in my family tree. :)

The woman on the right is my beautiful grandmother. Doesn't she look great? She's 80-years-old now and still looks amazing. This is the photograph that inspired me to give this project a life after the wedding, by hanging up the family wedding photos on our wall with our own wedding portraits. I kind of can't wait!

Did you find a place in your home for any of your wedding "decorations"?

*All images in this post are personal photos, but the photographer of the original photograph is credited where known.

We want to see their pretty faces

2010-02-22T06:42:00.000-08:00

One of the compromises we had to make to keep our wedding somewhere in the neighborhood of the budget was to get only six hours with our photographer (instead of the full day or the duration of our eight hour event). That doesn't seem like a whole lot of time, so we expect that we'll have to focus on portraits and the major events of the evening (although maybe if everyone gets on the dance floor, we'll get all of them there!). But one of my favorite parts of going through old pictures from my childhood are seeing everybody else! There are a lot of guests who probably won't turn up much in our professional wedding pictures, but that doesn't mean we don't want good pictures of them!

For a minute we thought of putting disposable cameras on the tables à la Miss Cola, but the quality of those photos never seems to be that great and we figured we'd spend a lot of money on developing 20 rolls for maybe six useful pictures, if we were lucky. We also thought about renting a photobooth (or setting up a fauxtobooth!), but financial and time restrictions sort of precluded both. Then, finally, it hit me: put the guests to work!

Hopefully not (source)
Like many a bride before me, I decided it would be great(!) to have an online photo sharing space where guests could upload their photos and I could see them! Not all of our guests are on Facebook, and I didn't want to download every small, low quality JPEG file, anyway, so I started exploring my photo sharing options.

First, I tried Flickr. I had a really hard time figuring out how guests could share their photos without creating a new account with a username and password, so I kept looking.

Next I found iRave. It looked promising, but I had absolutely no idea how much storage space it offered and I couldn't find the information anywhere I looked on the site. I didn't want to find I'd run out of space after I'd given guests the information!

I kept getting recommendations to try Picasa, and that was the one I ultimately chose. Upgrading the account was less expensive than with Flickr, and Picasa let me choose the email address for guests to send pictures to (as well as the URL to share photos, via my username), which I think will be easier than the random email addresses I hear Flickr uses (not that I could set one up!).

The next challenge was how to let everyone know where to send their photos. I put the information on our wedding website, but the truth is, out of 361 visits to the site, I'm sure about 350 of them were from me. ;) So I got the idea awhile back from Weddingbee reader kjpugs to create business cards with the information!

After going to VistaPrint and downloading their business card template, I went back to my invitation proofs and yanked the border image for one final project.

Crowning glory? Replacing the dot on the exclamation mark with a tiny little ♥. Of course, given that it's only 3 pt, I doubt anyone will notice!

Here's what the final result looked like.

On the back, we printed our monogram, just because we didn't want it blank. In hindsight, this would have been a great place to put table numbers and use them as escort cards! Since I didn't think of it in time, I insist that (at least!) one of you go make adorable business card-sized envelopes using this template (or you can buy pre-made plain ones) with your guests' names on the outside, and a cute photo sharing business card on the inside (with the table number on the back, of course!). This will ensure that your guests at least pick up the card... whether they remember to take it with them is another matter. I think the awesomeness of this idea is impossible to deny... so much so that I haven't actually ruled out reprinting these cards and doing it. I'm still looking for ways to justify the time and expense. :)

Did you come up with any genius ideas after the fact? Share them here, so that maybe someone else can take advantage!

One month before (by February 20)

2010-02-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

Put RSVPs into guestlist database and phone invitees who haven't yet responded
I've been adding respondents as we go along, and am ready with a list of people for my parents to nag after the RSVPs are due!
Get marriage license
Done! It was somewhat anticlimactic.
Mail rehearsal dinner invitations
They are mailed, and they are awesome.
Have final dress fitting
My second dress fitting is scheduled for next week.
Stock the bar
Our venue provides the bar.
Send out as many final payments as you can
I guess this would be smart.
Assign seating
Purchase bridesmaids' gifts to hand out at the rehearsal dinner
I ended up selling the imitation pashminas and buying real cashmere ones from The Pashmina Store when I couldn't find the right brooches (and other miscellaneous items) that I wanted to add to their gifts. I am spending a little more this way, but I like the gift a lot better!
Write vows, if necessary
We're not writing our own vows, but we did write our ceremony. It's been handed off to our officiant already.
Get hair cut and colored, if desired
I'm getting my last trim before the wedding tomorrow!

This is not a dress rehearsal

2010-02-18T06:17:00.000-08:00

The Spaniel-in-laws have been really supportive throughout the wedding planning process, and are throwing us this awesome rehearsal dinner to boot. So last night, Mr. Spaniel and I decided to help them out a bit by throwing together some invitations.

I really wanted to keep the rehearsal dinner vibe fun and festive and colorful, which means I tried to resist the draw to my usual clean, simple aesthetic and not just copy these invitations.

(source)
Even though I really, really wanted to.

Instead, I focused more on invites like these.

(source)
But good intentions are all for naught when your color ink jet runs out of red and yellow inks! "Black and blue" is not exactly our theme for the evening, so I was able to indulge my inner boring invitation girl, and I came up with these.

Without illustrations, these couldn't have been simpler to make. I created a 4.5x6.5" document in Word and used the Jane Austen font from Dafont, which I love and have been dying to use for something. I had a lot of leftover blank invitation cards from a previous project (non-wedding related!) that I got from Cards and Pockets that I just threw in the inkjet (my laser printer can't handle such small paper), and then I used some leftover double-sided tape to get them onto black mats—made from scraps from the programs (which were conveniently 5x11"... now if only I could think of a job for the 5x4" scraps that are left!).

(personal photo)
The part of these invitations that I got really excited about were the black envelopes. I'd wanted to use black inner envelopes for our wedding invitations with names written in gold, but by the time I thought of it, I'd already printed return addresses onto the cream envelopes and didn't want to spend any more money. So instead, I addressed the rehearsal dinner invitations in gold ink—an excellent test for the black place cards I plan to make! I used a gold calligraphy pen with a 1.0 mm nib—it was a little thick, actually, but I couldn't find a finer point.

What did you do for rehearsal dinner invitations?

Dress Stress, Part II: The First Fitting

2010-02-16T21:32:00.000-08:00

(Are you a guest at my wedding, or Mr. Spaniel himself? If so, please go away now. kthxbai.) :)

I've already told you about my little meltdown about the bridesmaid dresses. For me, the late bridesmaid dresses (and the missing sash) felt like major catastrophes, even though I objectively knew that I had tons of time and a million options for resolving the problems. My rational brain was just not switched on when it came to the girls' dresses. But my rational brain was on when it came to my own dress—I didn't panic when the dress came in months after it was promised; I just got angry.

I bought my dress on layaway in late August, after declining the bolero, which I was quoted an extra hundred dollars for (I knew House of Brides included the bolero for Allure 8601 in the cost, so I didn't see why I should pay more for it when I didn't like it enough to pay extra money anyway), and was told the dress would arrive in late November—about 12 weeks later. In the meantime, I came in every month to dutifully make my next payment, and in November I asked when I could expect my dress.

"Oh, it should be here in 12 weeks... beginning of February."

o_O Wh...WHAT???!!!

(source)
I usually go with the flow, even when I don't like the answer, but I think I had a mini-stroke right then. It was probably the first time I ever actually confronted a wedding vendor about the discrepancy between what I was promised when I forked over my money and what I was being told now. Would that be enough time to finish my alterations? What if it came late? How would they make me whole if I didn't have a freaking wedding dress to wear? And how was I going to think of enough to blog about with three more months to wait for my dress? (You can see I managed to think of a few things!).

So thank goodness when I called the shop at the beginning of February, I got the response I expected the first time I asked the question: "It has already been shipped and will be here by the end of the week." And even better when it did, in fact, arrive at the end of the week and I was able to schedule a fitting for this past weekend!

(personal photo)
The first thing I noticed when I walked into the dressing room with my gown hanging in front of me? The bolero. (It's that little lacy thing you see hanging behind the dress.) It was included. Sneaky saleslady tried to get me to pay another hundred dollars for something that was free! (See, ladies? It pays to do your research!) The rage hat came back on, but this time I kept it to myself: I didn't want it to disappear by the second fitting and held for $100 ransom. ;)

But now that I got that part of the story out of the way, I can tell you that seeing my dress (again? for the first time?) was such a happy moment for me. With the weight of my wedding chores building up on me, I haven't been enjoying the last few weeks of planning as much as I think I could, but getting my beautiful wedding dress was just... joyful. It definitely needed some alterations (I had to order three extra inches of length even though I only needed one, and despite all my newfound buffness it still needed an inch let out in the hips and waist), but trying it on felt just amazing (in between gasping, that is... that bitch was tight!).

Oh, you would like to see?

The front
(photo by Mama Spaniel, who couldn't find the lens on my Droid camera and so took a picture of the mirror instead)

The back/French bustle
(photos by me, when Mama Spaniel finally gave up on the Droid camera altogether)
I love it. Do you love it? :) I still can't decide what I'm doing about the bolero, though.

How did your first fitting go, if you've had it? And if you didn't, how do you expect to feel?

Dress Stress, Part I: Bridesmaids

2010-02-15T16:22:00.000-08:00

Aside from a few blips and the natural problems associated with wedding planning while law schooling, not too much has really gotten to me in the planning process. I have never been to a "perfect" wedding—have you?—so I wasn't really that concerned with throwing one. This made it easy for me to avoid stress about the details and most of the vendors.

Which of course means that when the dresses came in late, I freaked out completely.

(source)
It all started with the bridesmaid dresses, which I ordered from House of Brides back in September because they were at least $25 less expensive per dress than any other retailer I visited. I got notification from them that the dresses would arrive in their warehouse at the end of November. Plenty of time!

And then the end of November came. The dresses did not.

And then the end of December came. The dresses did not.

I was too busy with finals to stay on top of everything at the end of the year, but suddenly it was 2010 and I was in a full on panic, but paralyzed by the start of a new semester and a gazillion other things to do. I sent one meek email (that went unanswered), worried a little more and did nothing, and then, finally, in mid-January I got the notice that my dresses had shipped. Huzzah!

I promised not to take pictures of the girls in the dresses until they fit!
(personal photo)
They looked fabulous, and since they came early enough, I was super relieved.

Until one of my bridesmaids picked hers up last week and noticed that the sash was missing!!! HOB was a lot more responsive to me this time, and when I sent my ohmygodsodesparatepleasehelpme email, I got an email back within an hour and a promise that another sash would be on its way within two weeks. (This was great news, because I got myself so worked up in those few minutes between the discovery and the response that I swear my blood pressure doubled.) Amazingly, it took only a few days! They may be slow when your wedding is far off, but HOB totally came through when I needed them. Thank goodness; I will live to have my heart attack another day.

As for my dress... that was a different story...

Nailing my style down, Part II: A healthy canvas

2010-02-11T12:23:00.000-08:00

Because I'll be wearing a new and special piece of jewelry and otherwise covering my hands with ornate designs, I think my hands will be getting a lot more attention than they are used to. I'm addressing that in part by prettying up my nails with polish, but I want to make sure that the nails themselves are healthy. For most of my life, my nails have been pretty strong and healthy (most of the time), so a simple manicure usually does the trick. But lately they've become really brittle and split all the time, even when I keep them really short. I don't want fake nails (just not my thing), so I've been hunting for some home solutions for brittle nails, and thought I'd share the three major tips I found to treat cracking nails with the 'hive.

(source)
1. HYDRATE!!! No matter where I looked, the ENTIRE INTERNET told me I have to hydrate my nails if I want them not to crack. Soak your nails in tepid water, then apply moisturizers to seal the water in. Some sites recommended petroleum jelly (Vaseline), but I like to avoid petroleum products and will probably just use my coconut lotion. Re-moisturize after using detergents, washing hands, etc.

2. Massage. I read that massaging olive or vegetable oil to the nail (on top and underneath) a few times a day also helps with both increasing moisture and increasing circulation to the nail, and that this helps strengthen nails. You can also tell your partner and see if you can help foster the misinterpretation that, perhaps, a back massage will make your nails grow better. ;) It's worth a try, no?

3. Don't use nail polish remover. Acetone strips nails of necessary moisture, and it's recommended to use it no more than once per week. This will be hard for me, since my hands are always in and out of a backpack and it chips my polish a lot, causing me to redo my nails often. But I'll give it my best shot!

Do you have any tips for strong, healthy nails to share?

Nailing my style down, Part I: Polishing up

2010-02-10T06:09:00.000-08:00

As the wedding barrels down on me (ZOMG, it's coming SO SOON!!!), I've had to start thinking about things that never would have occurred to me to put on a big to-do list when we first got engaged... like my nail color! I mean, who would let themselves get caught up in their freaking finger nails when there are so many other things to take care of? This Spaniel would!

I first started thinking that this decision would be a little more complicated than walking into a nail salon and out with a simple French tip when I saw this at Maharani.

(source)
After totally creeping out Mr. Spaniel ("Is that a FINGERNAIL? By itself?"—he is also horrified by hair and eyelash extensions) and getting a good chuckle out of that, I started to think that maybe some color wasn't a bad idea. After all, our wedding palette is pretty muted—heck, even my shoes are only gold—and next to the dark mehndi stain, a rich color might be a nice contrast as compared to some of the light, "bridal" colors I had first considered.

OPI "Time-less Is More" (source)
I've pretty much ruled out the light pinks and whites and pink-and-whites (am I the only one who just found that amusing?), but I'm now weighing the pros and cons of trying to recreate the red and gold reverse French tip (trial run required)—or maybe just gold tips with a red base?—or just sticking with a deep red alone (no trial run necessary!). What do you think?

Have you given much thought to your wedding nail 'do? What did you decide?

Cake-spiration

2010-02-09T08:43:00.000-08:00

Please don't take away my bride card, but I am not really a lover of cake.

(source)
In fact, in (one of) my dream wedding(s), dessert is actually a scoop or two of gelatto. But Mr. Spaniel loves him some cake (and really, I think, so do most people), and it is a wedding, so I put on my research hat (what? I like hats) and looked for inspiration!

I got the idea pretty early on that I wanted a mehndi-styled cake, and there was no shortage of beautiful inspiration!

(source, source)
(source, source, source)
After tasting a few samples, though, we realized that we didn't like the taste of fondant, and we also really wanted to use our favorite local bakery, Porto's, for the cake—and they don't even use fondant. Buttercream doesn't really lend itself as well to intricate patterns, so I looked around for a less intricate henna-inspired pattern that would be easier to apply to a buttercream-covered cake, and I found this.

(source)
They actually had a very similar design in their portfolio already, which increased my confidence. Ours will have three tiers, a light cream colored background, and chocolate fudge decoration. I guess if it's that pretty, I will let them eat cake! HA! Ha, ha. Oh.

Did your cake design have any special significance for you?

A non-traditional mehndi

2010-02-08T06:38:00.000-08:00

One of the first things that I knew that I wanted for the wedding was a mehndi, but I had a bit of a tough time figuring out how to go about putting it together. I was a bit handicapped because my mother is not Pakistani (some Jews also use henna as part of their marriage celebrations, but not where Mama Spaniel's family is from), so she was pretty much as clueless as I was, and there's only so much information you can get about a women's event from your father! I'd only been to one mehndi myself, when my cousin was married several years ago, but I did not have my wedding hat on yet. So armed with some fuzzy memories of a loud party with really fantastic Pakistani food, I did a lot of research on my own, starting with my favorite wedding movie!

I can't imagine having nearly so many people at the mehndi—where would they all fit?!—but this was the scene I'd had in mind: the VIWs (Very Important Women!), singing songs, goofing around... and eating Pakistani food. What, you didn't see that in the video? Well, half the point of this event is to eat good food, so you'll just have to mentally edit that part in.

As I tried to work out the logistics with Mama Spaniel, though, we started to realize that a big gathering of family members in her home the day before the wedding was going to be pretty difficult. So after giving the matter lots (and lots) of thought, Mr. Spaniel and I reworked the event quite a bit. Instead of a bridal shower-like event, my mehndi will be more of an open house, at our place, where our wedding party (boys and girls!) will all be invited throughout the day. My family can actually get pretty tightly wound before big events (weddings certainly qualify as those!), so I'm really excited to be able to relax and spend the day with our friends! I think it's going to be a darn good time... especially since I won't be able to use my hands for anything for a few hours. ;) Mr. Spaniel gets to do all the cleaning up before we leave!

How are you spending the day before your wedding?

Escapism

2010-02-04T17:07:00.000-08:00

I'm one-third of the way through my last semester of law school, and all I can think about is taking a vacation. Seems to me to be as good a time as any to tell you about our honeymoon!

We had a few considerations in choosing a destination. First, I only had a week to travel after the wedding, so we wanted to stay somewhere close to home/quick to get to—we didn't want to spend our whole honeymoon just getting there and back. That cut most of the places we actually wanted to go out of the running (I was just dying to take a Mediterranean cruise!). Second, we didn't want to spend tons of money, so that cut out anywhere we'd had to fly to reach. Thus, the honeymoon road trip (to wine country!) was born.

(source)
We'll be skipping the morning-after brunch to make the long slog up to Sonoma, where neither of us have ever been, and spending a few days there before heading west and south back home via Santa Cruz (one of my favorite places) and Carmel. What turned out to be really nifty was that the Spaniel-in-laws had taken a similar road trip for their honeymoon—we'll actually be staying at the same place in Carmel that they stayed 35 years ago (and telling the owners that? Got us a pretty sweet deal on the suite!).

I'm pretty excited about our road trip, but of course I have reservations (and not just for the rooms! Oh!). I love sunny-beachy vacations, and we won't get much of that by heading north in March! I also can be a pretty cranky travel companion (hey, at least I know my faults), and being on the move for most of our honeymoon—packing and unpacking, ~~arguing about~~ negotiating who gets to drive—was definitely not how I'd originally envisioned it. But we've already figured out the ground rules to keep us both happy: complaints about bathroom stops on the road are not allowed, the first person to get hungry decides when to eat, and all other disputes are to be resolved by playing Rock-Paper-Scissors ;). If that's not a recipe for success, I don't know what is.

How did you select your honeymoon destination?

I'm putting a ring on it

2010-02-02T19:33:00.000-08:00

I don't think I've told you yet about Mr. Spaniel's wedding ring, so gather round; it's story time!

Once upon a time, Mr. Spaniel was reluctant to go shopping for a wedding band. He'd gotten the idea somewhere that the only acceptable men's ring is a plain white band.

(source)
While I really like the simple, modern but also classic style of a platinum or white gold wedding band, it didn't strike me as being particularly Mr. Spaniel—which he confirmed by his lack of enthusiasm for it. Instead, I figured I knew Mr. Spaniel better than he knew himself, and dragged him along to another jewelry shop to get him to try on rings. I had a feeling that if we found the right one, he'd get excited about the prospect of wearing it, and doesn't everyone want their partner to be happy wearing their ring? I also had a feeling that the right ring would be two-toned.

(source)
As it turns out, we were both wrong! A plain platinum band actually never touched his finger (he had no interest at all once he saw all the other options), and he seemed to gravitate toward more "interesting" and complicated designs all on his own. But he didn't go two-tone...

personal photo
He threw some rose gold in there too and went three-tone.

That Mr. Spaniel. Such a diva.

Did your fiancé(e) have any preconceived notions about the wedding band? Did the choice surprise you?

(C)holy smokes, the ketubah is (c)here!

2010-02-01T06:52:00.000-08:00

UPS delivery is always a race against time 'round these parts. We've had the delivery person walk away in the amount of time it took me to run from my living room couch to the front door (a distance of a whopping four feet). Since I got the notice from Ketubah Ketubah that my order was on its way, when I heard the knock on the door I was on my feet and running like a bat out of hell (in my bathrobe and sweatpants, no less) hoping that would be it.

I hadn't ordered anything else poster-shaped, so I knew what I was looking at, and I patiently waited for Mr. Spaniel to get home from work to rabidly tear into it to see the goods. Just kidding; I did wait for him to get home, but I opened it without him when he left for the gym. ;) I did open it slowly and carefully, though—I couldn't let anything happen to this paper, which cost WAY MORE than its weight in gold!

I love it I love it I love it!
A closer shot of the custom, hand calligraphy
I am SO. EXCITED. We ended up ordering the Ardyn Halter papercut ketubah in ivory with custom text.

On [DATE], in the presence of family and friends in Malibu, California, [Miss Spaniel], daughter of [Mama and Papa Spaniel], and [Mr. Spaniel], son of [FIL Spaniels], affirmed their union of marriage and made these vows to each other:

As beloveds and friends, we choose to walk life’s path together. We will appreciate our differences as a source of richness and build a life together as equal partners and supportive companions. We will be slow to anger and quick to forgive. We will celebrate life’s splendors together; we will brace each other through its storms. May our love provide us with the freedom to be ourselves and the courage to follow both our mutual and our individual directions.

We promise to honor our ancestors, families, and all living beings; treasure, enjoy, and continue the traditions we have inherited; create a home filled with love and peace, freedom and compassion. We will shelter each other; our home will be a place of openness and generosity. With our community of friends and family as witnesses, we now combine our separate fates into one.

Signature spaces were included for two witnesses (my MOH and Mr. Spaniel's Best Man), the bride and groom, and the officiant.

Our mission now is to not touch the ketubah all the time so that it doesn't get discolored (it's been re-wrapped in acid-free tissue and put back into the mailer tube), then to mount it to a piece of acid-free foam core or mat board with hinging tape to get it ready to sign before our wedding ceremony. We also have to find a good acid-free pen—Ketubah Ketubah recommends the Sakura Pigma Micron Pen, so I will probably pick some up from Amazon during my next shopping spree. ;)

Working with Ketubah Ketubah was a bit of a mixed bag. They have some amazing and beautiful options, but the customization process was a little confusing—they have a whole wizard for personalization (adding your name to pre-written text), but no clear process for customization (I just added it to the notes/comment section at the end of the wizard), and I got some really unexpected snark from the person responding to my email about a correction on the proof. BUT in the end I got what I ordered, and relatively quickly for a custom job. I'm so happy with the finished product that I'm willing to forgive some blips in the ordering process—normally I wouldn't forgive a rude response from customer service so easily, but I guess my ketubah is so beautiful that I'm feeling generous!

Wait, I AM a Buff Bride!

2010-01-27T22:15:00.000-08:00

When I updated our wedding website with our new engagement photos, I took a quick gander at the old ones, just for fun. I knew the new ones were going to blow the old ones out of the water, but I saw something that I hadn't expected: I lost weight! My workouts are working!

This is me in April of 2009.

Photo by FMIL Spaniel
Let's forget about the fact that I am makeup-less, hairstyle-less, and just style-less in general here, shall we? Let's also forget about the fact that the photo quality is the kind you can only get from a point-and-shoot camera and an inexperienced photographer. (Sorry, FMIL Spaniel! We love you anyway!) But seriously... what is with that BUMP?! Oh, it's my belly. :(

This is me in January of 2010.

Photo by Meg Perotti
I think the differences are pretty obvious, but I should also point out that my jeans are two sizes smaller in the second picture!

It might not seem particularly impressive—I lost two pant sizes in 8 months, but I'm guessing that most brides here don't have that long to go—but the truth is, I didn't really get serious until November of this year... maybe the tail-end of December, if I'm being honest. So I really lost two pant sizes in five weeks. And if I'd had more to lose, I bet it would have made a bigger impact!

I have been doing the Buff Brides 12-week program for nearly six weeks now, and I flesh it out by playing Ultimate Frisbee once a week (about an hour of intense cardiovascular exercise!) or by doing this video a couple times in a row after weight lifting. I don't skip workouts no matter how lazy I feel, and I watch what I eat (most of the time). Amazingly, it really hasn't been that hard. And now that I see my own before and after? I don't think I could let myself fall off the wagon again!

Have you been sticking to a workout plan? Have you started to see results?

Fly free, little invites!

2010-01-26T15:27:00.000-08:00

I've shown you all the individual components of the invitations, but now that they're off in space (or in people's homes, since I've already received a few RSVPs!), I thought I would show you how they all came together and do a price breakdown.

This is what people will see first: my so-so handwriting with a simple roller pen, and standard USPS $0.44 wedding stamps. :)

I very, very briefly considered vintage and custom stamps, but the price was prohibitive and I just didn't care that much. I also considered purchasing a calligraphy pen to address the envelopes, but I figured that my mediocre handwriting would stand out less if I used a simpler pen. It's not perfect, but I'm not unhappy with how it came out.

After guests carefully open the envelope so as to preserve the liner (shh; don't tell me otherwise!), they'll get an awesome eyeful of some corner flourishes and... a belly band! What ever could the belly band be holding together?

Front
Back
And here are all of the pieces together.

Yeah, so speaking of USPS postage... can't they come up with something better—or at least more universal—than a polar bear?

And the stealthy back of the RSVP postcards. I remain more proud of this than any other DIY project I have undertaken, for some reason.

And now, I commence the freak-outs while I wait for the rest of the responses. OH MY GOD I'M ABOUT TO GET MARRIED! Ahem, as I was saying. Price breakdown.

Invitations, envelopes, and RSVP postcards: $439.73 after tax for 115 invitations. I placed a deposit on my letterpress invitations when Ajalon Invitations was having a special of 100 invites for $3.50 (the special prices have gone up since then, but they are still quite low for the quality).
Patterned paper for liners and belly bands: $40 at Envelopper Inc.. I found a coupon online for free shipping. This only bought enough paper for 100 invitations (2 packs of 25 8½ x 11" sheets); I didn't line the international ones.
Ivory card stock for additional insert: $6.11 at Staples for 125 sheets (I used the rest for the menus). Only 30 sheets were used on these inserts, so this item will overestimate invitation costs, but I won't prorate it since I used most of the rest on the menus.
Postage: $74.16. I came just under the 1 oz weight limit for $0.44 postage, and used $0.28 stamps for the postcards, times 100, plus two international invitations (the remainder of the international invitations were hand-delivered by Papa Spaniel in the fall).

That brings the total cost of invitations to $560, or $4.87 per invite. I think this is a really good price for letterpress invitations with so many extras! Not only that, but it keeps me well within my stationery budget.

But we all know that "stationery" consists of more than just the invitations—if I'm being honest, I should also include the STDs, thank you cards, and programs. The STDs were a little pricey compared to what I now know I could have bought them for (oops!) at $80, while my homemade thank you cards were a steal at $6.11 (more card stock) plus $4.99 for envelopes—I'll also assume 100 stamps at $0.44 (though it will probably be fewer). The programs were a bit pricier, as well: 50 sheets of 11 x 17" black card stock ran me $28.90 (shipping was, again, free from Envelopper Inc.), while I managed to get 500 sheets of ivory printer paper at Staples for another $6.11. The green ribbon was $6.99 per roll, times two rolls (I didn't end up needing the third, so I returned it), bringing the total program cost to $48.99.

(Things I did not include in final cost were adhesives for attaching the envelope liners [I already had them at home], hole punchers [which were only a dollar each and will outlast these projects], my rotary trimmer [because I also already had it], and printer ink [too hard to calculate per page costs!].)

All of this brings my stationery to a grand total of $744.09, plus or minus a few cents or dollars here or there for tax I may have forgotten to account for (I can't remember if I paid sales tax on the card stock or liner paper) or rounding I may have done in previous accounting. I have lots of leftover card stock that I will use for table numbers and place cards, and leftover paper and card stock that I will use for non-wedding projects, so I think that means that I came in... under budget! It's a feat of which I am especially proud, since I budgeted for 100 invitations and ended up needing 115, and I didn't necessarily think in advance of all the other paper items I would need. :) Hooray!

Did you do a cost-breakdown of any of your projects? Were they where you expected them to be?

We! Have!! E-Pics!!!

2010-01-25T07:46:00.000-08:00

1
Oh, sorry, I meant to blog something first. I got excited. :-D

As you've heard by now, Southern California got pummeled with rain last week—enough that I was worried our weekend engagement shoot would have to be canceled. But the sun came back out Saturday, the puddles miraculously dried, and Mr. Spaniel and I got to have our "fifteen minutes" with our photographer, who was a total blast to work with!

2
You may have noticed that neither the sweater nor the tunic made an appearance in our shoot—the night before, I pulled out everything in my closet and hated all of it (isn't it frustrating when that happens?). Suddenly the tunic made me look pregnant; the sweater, fat; the flats, short; the jeans, dated. Poor Mr. Spaniel; he was on the receiving end of some ridiculous theatrics.

Miss Spaniel: I don't have anything to wear.
Mr. Spaniel: How about that black dress?
Miss S: No, that's too dark.
Mr. S: Are you sure? I really like it on you.
Miss S: WHY DON'T YOU SUPPORT ME? NOTHING I DO IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH!

...and so on. So I put on the only jeans that made me feel good, and indulged in some early morning shopping after getting my hair done.

3

We ended up taking pictures in Old Town Pasadena, where we spend most of our date nights! Not only did we find the most awesome backdrops (that last picture? Taken in front of a dumpster. Seriously), but I'm really excited that, some day, our kids will see these pictures and they'll really see not only that we are both "really, really, ridiculously good looking" (HA!) but they'll also get a really clear snapshot (no pun intended) of where we were at that time in our lives. The shoot really reflected us.

4
I'm pleased as pie with these pictures, and I'm so glad we got this experience in front of the camera, and with our photographer, specifically. It went from feeling silly and embarrassing to silly and lots of fun!

5
We'd really love to get prints of a few of these, to put up in our apartment (finally, pictures where we don't both look really, really ridiculously stupid!), and to frame and give to our parents. It's so hard to pick our favorites! I can hardly even narrow it down for this post!

6
So, once again, I seek the wisdom of the 'hive: which shot do you like best?

Poll Option A: 1
Poll Option B: 2
Poll Option C: 3
Poll Option D: 4
Poll Option E: 5
Poll Option F: 6

All photos in this post by the really, really ridiculously talented Meg Perotti.

Invitations mailed. Existential crisis, commence.

2010-01-21T15:00:00.000-08:00

It was an exciting day in the Spaniel household when we finally got our wedding invitations in the mail! I didn't take any pictures—our focus was on staying dry during the latest torrential downpour—but oh, the relief! I carried them all in a plastic bag inside a plastic tub to keep them dry on the way to the post office, and only managed to drop one into a big dirty puddle on the sidewalk. :( Luckily, that invite was headed to New Zealand, so I can blame the vagaries of international mail delivery for that one, and no one will be the wiser!

In addition to excitement, though, I feel a little bit of... alarm? Like this is a wake up call of sorts. We've been engaged for so long that the wedding has never stopped feeling far off in the future. But it's not so far away, anymore! Catering headcounts are due soon! Fire permits for the candle centerpieces need to be obtained! I no longer have forever to figure out what we're going to do about our guest book! We actually need to start planning our honeymoon itinerary! And on top of that, I still have work to do, classes to study for and jobs to find!

But it's not just the time crunch we're facing that has me feeling a bit overwhelmed. See, I didn't realize this at first, but sometime after the invitations actually arrived from the printers it dawned on me that there was a major part of me that simply never expected to be a married woman, and I feel surprised and amazed and somewhat confused with each step closer that we take towards making me one. Seeing our names there, and now inviting people to witness this event, is forcing me to really confront this version of self I'd previously constructed: the independent, career-minded woman who never particularly wanted children and hasn't belonged to any pro-marriage religious tradition in fifteen years, in contrast to this woman who suddenly just can't wait! to get married and start a family. Forgive my lack of eloquence, but it's just... weird.

Making the decision to get married is difficult to intellectualize. After all, I've been committed to Mr. Spaniel for years now: we're both in it for the long haul and that would be true with or without the legal component. If we were just concerned about our property rights, we could have written contracts to resolve it. Court orders would change our names just as thoroughly as a marriage license. It all begs the question: what is the point of even getting married at all?

I've been struggling with this question for awhile now, and I still can't answer it in a brief statement. As flawed as marriage is, there is something special—and privileged—about the institution. It's a simple legality that expresses to the world what Mr. Spaniel and I have already expressed to each other, and that has value. I don't just want the rights and obligations of marriage (although I want those, too); I want the recognition from society that being husband and wife—and not just lovers and partners—gives us.

My intent right now isn't to share my politics, just my personal struggle. I find it entirely baffling, though, that in 9/10 of states, we don't allow so many people to struggle with the same thoughts.

You ask, I deliver

2010-01-21T08:54:00.000-08:00

It's amazing being able to plan a wedding in the age of the Internet—get stuck on wording? Hop on-line! I can't even say how much text I "borrowed" from other brides out in space for our ceremony programs, but I'd probably still be thinking about what to write instead of wondering where to store them all right now if there hadn't been so many samples online to rely on.

In that vein, here's what we included in our programs, in case it helps anyone!

Cover page
You've seen this one before!

I just used this page for the Who/Where/When. I got the idea in my head that this would be a great page for a cute photograph and vellum overlay (à la Mrs. Emerald and Mrs. Eggplant), but I wasn't willing to invest more money or time. Maybe one of you will try these programs that way? :)

Wedding Party
This one is more or less self-explanatory: I listed everyone who would be preceding us down the aisle, as well as their relationships to us.

It was also an excellent excuse for some cheesy quotations:

Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts. - William Shakespeare

I get by with a little help from my friends. - The Beatles

Ceremony
This is probably the one where I borrowed most heavily from other brides, many of them Weddingbee bloggers!

Sorry, ladies; I didn't credit you on the programs!

Love is a friendship set to music.
- E. Joseph Cossman

Friends and family, thank you for joining us on our wedding day. We will be standing today under a chuppah to create an intimate space, symbolizing the home that we will share together. The sides are left open to signify that all friends and family are welcome into our new life and home.

PRELUDE...Magnetic Fields, The Book of Love

PROCESSIONAL
Wedding Party’s Entrance...Pachelbel, Canon in D
Procession of the Bride...U2, All I Want Is You

WELCOME AND INTRODUCTION
The ceremony will be led by Mr. Fred.

READING
From “The Prophet” by Khalil Gibran.

MARRIAGE CONTRACT (KETUBAH)
The ketubah, which is signed before the wedding ceremony, is a marriage contract with a two-thousand year history. Traditional ketubot outline the groom’s responsibilities to his wife and are legally binding agreements. Our ketubah is a “contract of the heart,” documenting our promises to each other, and will serve as a reminder of our love and commitment to one another. It serves not only as a contractual document but also as a work of art to be displayed as a daily reminder of the promises made.

MARRIAGE RITES
Exchange of Vows and Rings
Presentation of Dr. and Mrs. Daniel Spaniel

BREAKING THE GLASS
At the end of the ceremony, Mr. Spaniel will shatter a glass under his foot. Just as a broken glass cannot be mended, likewise the promises made today are irrevocable. “As this glass shatters, so may our marriage never break.”

RECESSIONAL...The Zombies, This Will Be Our Year

I had also hoped to explain the henna ritual for Mr. Spaniel's side of the family here, but we ran out of space and I didn't think it was essential to the ceremony. Hopefully his parents will clue them in!

Acknowledgments
I also did a lot of "borrowing" for the "Remembrance" text. Mr. Spaniel and I were each very close to some of the people who we listed here, and didn't know others all that well (most of our grandparents passed while we were quite young, on the one hand, but I was very close with my cousin growing up [she was around my age], as well as my aunt). It was easier for me to deal with to keep the wording somewhat generic.

REMEMBRANCE (AZKARAH)
On this most special milestone in our lives, we wish to lovingly remember those close to our hearts who are no longer with us. Today we remember:

...

Although they cannot be here, we keep them in our hearts on this day.
___

Dear Family and Friends,

On this day we thank our parents, our families, and our friends for your love, support and encouragement. We have been blessed by your gracious love, support and friendship over the years, and look forward to its presence in the years ahead. We would also like to express our gratitude to those who have freely given of their ideas, support and labor to make this day possible.

Thanks also to each of you who have traveled the distance, near and far, to witness our vows to each other and to join us in our marriage celebration today.

All our love,
Miss & Mr. Spaniel

Now go forth and make programs!

À la carte (or, the map!)

2010-01-20T12:52:00.000-08:00

As you may know by now, I don't like to follow tutorials—they save time and lead to correct results the first time, which certainly won't do for me! So rather than follow Mrs. Hibiscus' or Mrs. Spring Roll's tutorials (neither of which I thought to look at until after I finished my map/started writing this post—although my process was pretty similar to Spring Roll's except for the fact that her's looks better than mine), I determined that my minimal design skills would carry me through this DIY. I was right!

First, I went to Google Maps and searched for driving directions from the hotel I blocked rooms in to our venue (the two locations I wanted to mark on the map), then messed with the zoom and positioning until I could see the major freeways that almost any of our guests would need to take. Then I took a screen shot and pasted it into a new image in Photoshop.

Then I cropped to where I really wanted the map to cover, created a new layer to trace the major freeways and streets in varying pixel weights, and added some blue for the Pacific Ocean to ensure that no one drove into it, because I'm helpful like that.

Next I added freeway markers, city and street names, and a compass (solely because I'd just gone on a font downloading binge at Dafont.com and picked up a nifty compass dingbat font a few days earlier!).

The hardest part (for me) was deciding how to mark the venue and hotel, because I didn't have and couldn't find any dingbat that I particularly liked that was simple enough to still be seen on the scale of the map—they were too complicated and not really discernible in small sizes on such a large map. I just ended up using the star-shaped brushes that came pre-loaded into Photoshop.

Voilà! La carte!... er, see there! The map! Despite reinventing the wheel (and changing my compass mid-post, didja notice?), this still only took under thirty minutes, so I think it was a worthwhile project. I only plan to post the map to our wedding website (rather than printing it out to send with invitations), so that did make it a little easier to commit to, though. :)

Did you give your guests a map, or let them fend for themselves?

Two months before (by January 20)

2010-01-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

Discuss locations and shots with photographer
We'll probably do this at our engagement shoot?
Review playlist with the band or the deejay
Sure, once we decide on what we want?
Send invitations
Heading to the post office today!
Touch base with vendors
Huh?
Submit a newspaper wedding announcement
I guess that would be a good idea?
Enjoy bachelorette party
Really?? Who does this two months before the wedding??

So, um... we are officially behind. :)

Singing in the rain

2010-01-19T17:30:00.000-08:00

I don't know if you've heard, but we Angelenos are facing some uncharacteristically inclement weather this week. Luckily, I am prepared!

In 2009, I think we totaled about three days of rain (two of which you could probably characterize as a drizzle), but I went ahead and ordered some rain boots on Zappos in the spring anyway since my campus practically flooded from it and ruined my favorite ballet flats. (By the way, I am still in mourning and trying to determine whether there is a cause of action against the designer of the parking structure for negligent infliction of emotional distress... no?). So as I stomped and sloshed my way around school today in my spiffy new(ish) rain boots (with dry jean hems, hooray!), I suddenly made the connection:

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Rain boots? Wedding dress? Incredibly cute picture? Yes, yes, and yes! Well, maybe, yes, and hopefully, but you get the idea.

I'm hoping the weather will be dry and not too cold, either on W-Day, and if that's the case I won't even bother bringing the boots along. But if there is even a hint of mud anywhere, I will not be slipping and sliding in my strappy gold sandals—I'll be happily joining the ranks of rain booted brides instead!

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Did you include anything unexpected in your bridal wardrobe? Do tell!

Please don't stop the music (until we all get down the aisle)

2010-01-19T07:49:00.000-08:00

Mr. Spaniel and I love music, and there was all kinds of great stuff we'd planned to incorporate into our ceremony. But it only took a few revisions of our monster programs to realize that our musical selections would overtake our actual ceremony in duration if we didn't make some cuts! As a result, we've dropped from six much-loved and deeply-considered pieces to three.

The wedding party's processional will all be to the ever-popular Pachelbel's Canon in D. I know this is a super, super common selection, but there's a reason for that: it's so beautiful! True story: I was not the kind of girl who dreamed of my perfect wedding from a young age—I've made up everything as we've gone along, pretty much—but I knew from the first time I heard this piece at a dance recital when I was four-years-old that this song would be in my wedding. Luckily, Mr. Spaniel likes it, too, since we've decided the bridesmaids and groomsmen will walk down together (I'd initially thought they'd walk down with him before the rest of the processional), so it stays!

We've chosen slightly less traditional music for my processional and the recessional. And so, without further ado...

Bridal Processional: Vitamin String Quartet's cover of U2's All I Want Is You

I've always thought this was a beautiful love song.

Recessional: The Zombies' This Will Be Our Year

Cuter than the band's name would lead you to believe, right? I tend to think of this song as a New Year's song, but I think it works for the recessional just as well!

Where did you find your wedding music?

Programs! Get yer programs!

2010-01-13T17:49:00.000-08:00

I have learned an important lesson in tackling all the DIY projects that I did in the past few weeks: DIY is not easy for large weddings. "Large" is a relative term, I understand, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that when your invite list approaches 200, it doesn't take too many projects before you're entering a world of pain, son.* I'm glad I did it—I love the way our invites look, and I'm glad people will be able to follow the ceremony better—but WOW was that more work than I thought it would be! (But notice, not so much that I stopped, or that I didn't still have time to tell you about it! :)

So. The last thing project I tackled this winter break was programs, with the help of Spaniel BM-Noe (the very same wonderful lady who helped me with the envelope liners... I should have added a special line in the acknowledgments thanking her specifically for helping me to assemble these beasts).

Before I start 'splaining to you how to make these ~~monsters~~ programs yourselves, here is where I got the tutorial and templates. Below are the things I learned and tweaks I made to make the project go a little more smoothly.

Step 1. Download your Word templates. The problems I ran into here were that the template image didn't align itself to the edges of the page, and I had to mess around a lot with the alignment. In the end, it didn't work: I couldn't cut perfectly on the line, so you could see them in every program, and one of the pages seemed to print with the template image off-set by about 1/4" despite all of my fussing with it, so I ended up deleting the guides. It made cutting later a little harder, but here's my trick:

Set up a Word document with margins 1/2" all the way around.
Format the document for two columns with 1" space in between them.
Set the header (footer? the CAPS DESCRIPTION) of each page as follows: page 1 ends at 9", page 2 at 9.5", page 3 at 10", and page 4 at 10.5". You could make a fifth page that ends at the bottom, if your printer can print that close to the edge of the page OR if you get legal size paper (8.5" x 14").

Enter your text (I'll share mine in a future post if there is interest) and copy it into the second column on each page.

Step 2. Print your program pages. I used colored (ivory) printer paper, 20-lb weight (you can use card stock, but it will be harder to punch through later!).

Step 3. Cut cut cut! This was one of the more boring parts of the project, so BM-Noe and I watched a movie while doing it.* A rotary trimmer and a lever paper cutter (borrowed from FMIL Spaniel) made this job a lot faster!

Step 4. Prepare backing papers. I used black card stock (11" x 17" from Envelopper Inc., so I couldn't print the template directly onto them. My hack was a little complicated, so here's what I did.

Print a full size larger background layer template (4.75" x 11") onto white printer paper and cut the top half out. I actually needed a 12" long back—you will have to fold the top of it over the text pages—so I just used the top of the template for the holes and didn't need the full length (I used a ruler for the rest of it!).
Measure and cut backings.

Okay, maybe that wasn't that complicated. It took me awhile to figure out, though!

Next, we marked and folded the top of the backing papers, wrapped the printer paper background template around the top, and punched holes. I bought two hole punchers so we could work on it simultaneously, which was good because if one person had to punch that many holes through thick card stock, they would start to have a very, very bad day. (If you plan to do this yourself, be prepared to take lots of breaks. My hands hurt for two days afterward, even with help.)

Step 5. Punch holes in text paper. We tried to punch all of the holes at once (the card stock and the paper), but it was just too thick. Since we didn't print the template on the text paper (see problems with Step 1!), we just held each set of four pages against the background where we would want them, and used the background as a template for where to place the holes.

Step 5. Set eyelets. I really wanted to do this because I think it looks more finished (and even invested in a Crop-A-Dile eyelet punch
for the task!), but I had bought 1/8" eyelets and they were too small to hold all of the papers together. Boo! We tried to pick up some larger ones at Michael's, but they actually didn't have enough of the size I needed so we skipped it. The message here is that if you want to use eyelets, get eyelets that are bigger than 1/8" and have them in sufficient quantities before getting your friend over to help you!

Step 6. Cut and tie ribbon. I wasn't really sure how much ribbon each program would need (I'd estimated 12" each and bought an extra roll just in case), but after some trial and error we realized each one needed 16"! And that's for really small bows! Thank goodness for the extra roll!

(Don't make the programs angry... they outnumber us!)
Step 7. Store the programs. I'm kind of still working on this one. :) So far I've left them stacked on top of each other with the ribbons, but they curl that way, and I don't think that will look so nice as people grab them on the wedding day. So I've been looking for a big scrapbooking box or two where I can lay them all flat for the next couple of months, but no luck yet.

I think the programs are going to be helpful in explaining our multicultural ceremony so that no one feels lost, but I can also understand why people skip them! Are you making programs for your ceremony? Why did you decide to (or not to)?

*Can you tell which movie? ;)

Dress me!

2010-01-12T06:17:00.000-08:00

'Hive, this Bee needs your help. My engagement photo shoot is coming up soon—yes, I know I've been engaged for well over a year already, but I'm still engaged! And that means pictures must be taken!—and us Spaniels just do not know what to wear!

First, some background: Mr. Spaniel and I have chosen a setting that we're really excited about, though we had to pass on a lot of other awesome nearby locations. Goodbye, Downtown Los Angeles!

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Farewell, light rail and Union Stations!

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I hardly knew you, Descanso and Huntington Gardens!

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We're keeping the actual location a secret for now (I'm! So! Mean!), but it's probably closest in style to Downtown LA... and I'm struggling with my outfit!

I know that I want to wear something where I feel like myself... and said self is not a dress or a skirt girl. In fact, self is a blue jeans kind of lady, which leaves me basing my outfit choices around my favorite pair.

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I'd pair these either with a tunic and some cute flats,

Mine is similar to this, but in a jewel-tone green (source)

I actually also got these shoes for free with my BlueFly gift card! (source)

or a sweater and some slouch boots.

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Since we don't have all that much time and I am not sure it will add much, really, there won't be any outfit changes. Which way would you go? And if you had an e-shoot, how did you choose your own e-shoot outfits?

You mean just PICKING the menu isn't enough?

2010-01-11T08:11:00.000-08:00

As you already know, Mr. Spaniel and I are pretty jazzed about our wedding menu. Unfortunately, we couldn't fit full descriptions of every entreé on the RSVP card (they're described in more detail on our wedding website, but I have little faith that many people will make it there), and we'd like to minimize people's culinary surprise. Or something.

Enter the wedding menu card! (Cue music. Or the sound of chewing. Don't eat the menu card, please; it's not edible.)

(Photograph by Rick Aguilar, via SMP)
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The menu card can be a fun way to spice up the table decor, and since our linens are pretty bland and the task looked pretty easy, I went ahead and threw some of these together. Here's how!

Step 1: Open a Word document. Set the page up with a landscape orientation and 1/2" margins all the way around.

Step 2: Set up three columns with a 1" gap between them (each column will be 2.67").

Step 3: Type away!

I steered slightly away from the fonts I used in my invitation suite: I kept the Palatino Linotype block font, but instead of Shelley Allegro/Sheer Elegance I switched to Porcelain (a fussier font, I think, but more visually interesting). Since I was using Mr. Spaniel's photo printer instead of my usual laser (which has a nasty habit of bending my card stock into curls, as I discovered while printing our thank you cards), I decided to also play with a little bit of color. A very little bit of color:

I first saw "Eat. Drink. Be married." in Mrs. Peep Toe's recaps and thought it was pretty cute... now I get to use it!

Step 4: Print on card stock. I used ivory colored card stock from Staples, and the shade of green came out absolutely perfectly on it... it matches the ribbon I'm using for our programs! (What programs, you ask? Patience, grasshoppers.)

Step 5: Cut your card stock into thirds. This can be tricky if uniformity is important to you, but I just pulled out a ruler and marked off three and (a little tiny bit past) 10/16" and cut. My rotary trimmer is my lifesaver.

Step 6: Fin! There is no step 6! Unless folding them into napkins is your step 6.

(I swear the menus are not as blurry as my photograph)
Speaking of which, that's what we'll be doing with these: setting one inside of the napkin at each place setting. And I am very, very happy that someone else will be doing that job. :)

Did you find yourself adding DIY projects to your list in the last few months leading up to the wedding?

But baby, it's cold outside

2010-01-07T10:15:00.000-08:00

I'm a weather wimp. To be fair, it's not really my fault! I grew up in Southern California, where we don't really have weather—50° F is pretty much freezing in my book.

(A funny story: I visited a law school in NYC during the spring one year, and it was 60° out that day. People all over the campus were out in their shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops; I wore a turtleneck sweater, my big wool peacoat and Uggs. I don't know what I would have done if I'd had to face actual winter weather when I was still cold in my warmest clothing! I guess that—and Mr. Spaniel!—is why I'm still in L.A.! ;) ).

Luckily—since our ceremony will be outdoors—March weather in Malibu should be fairly mild (unless it rains—a bridge we will cross in another post!). Here's what I'm looking at:

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Even though the weather should be mild, I am definitely looking at ways to keep warm for our evening ceremony.

Conveniently, my dress has a matching 3/4-length sleeve bolero, which is available for an additional $100.

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Inconveniently, I did not order it with my dress, so I'm not sure if I can order it separately (or get it in time if I do). Why didn't I order it? Because it's the only bolero I ever met that I didn't like the look of!

So as it turns out, finding a bolero that is not hundreds of dollars and one that actually provides warmth (rather than just modesty, which I'm not really that worried about) and that ALSO matches my dress is kind of impossible (unless one of you knows about something that I don't? Hm?). So I'm looking into a pashmina or shawl instead.

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I think this idea has more promise, but I haven't found anything that has bowled me over yet.

What did/will you do to keep warm at your evening wedding? Or were you lucky enough not to have to worry about it? :)

Hidden messages

2010-01-06T07:40:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I get surprised by how little people know about weddings who aren't actually planning one. I was shocked to learn that some people don't realize that you should generally avoid wearing a long white gown to a wedding if you're not the bride, that not everyone understands that you probably shouldn't bring an uninvited date without permission, or that some people don't know how to fill out a response card that comes with a wedding invitation!

I suppose some response cards are less than 100% self-explanatory, and our RSVP postcards are not really any exception: they are laid out like this.

We hope that by asking people to initial their entreé selections, we'll know how many in a family are attending, but in hindsight we probably should have replaced the "__ ACCEPTS" with "__ of __ ACCEPTS" so that they'd know to indicate a number (and also what the maximum number ought to be!). But we just couldn't figure out a way to make it painfully clear that the "M_________" line needs to be filled in with a name! I thought everyone knew this, but as we've shown some of our friends the invitation suites, they had no idea... so I'm glad I checked!

To combat the possibility of having to sort through 115 sets of names to determine by process of elimination who a particular RSVP card may have come from, I did what many brides wisely do: I put numbers on each of them, corresponding to their position on a spreadsheet I've been managing since we started making our guest list. There are lots of ways to hide these numbers—one of the coolest I've seen was Mrs. Green Tea's MOH's black light pen method—but I already knew I wanted to add more visual interest to the back of the postcards so I decided to design a monogram where I could tuck the number in a non-obtrusive kind of way. Here is the monogram I came up with...

And here's what it looks like "in action"!

It was a simple little add (even though I had to actually manually change the number 115 times and hand-feed each postcard through the photo printer!) but I am super glad I did this: unlike the envelope liners, I have no post-DIY regrets and I really love the way they came out.

How did you track your RSVPs?

Envelope liners. So simple, they take only two people and four days to do!

2010-01-04T09:57:00.000-08:00

For just a few dollars and 1,230,423,234 hours of manual labor, you can make a huge impact on your invitations, just by lining the envelopes. It's an incredibly simple DIY project, as well, and you needn't be the crafty type (I'm certainly not!) to do it! All you need is:

Envelopes
Pencil
Scissors
Double-sided tape or glue
The patience of a saint
A really fabulous bridesmaid who is on winter break and is willing to help (optional)

I didn't use a tutorial or a pre-made template (though both of those things exist); I instead took apart one of my envelopes, traced the inside of the back and flap, and cut it off before I got to the adhesive on the flap. Like Mrs. Pineapple, I found the most difficult part to be getting the angles right on my homemade template—I think this is a lot easier with pointy-flap envelopes than square ones (so if you plan to make your own liners and you don't already have your envelopes, I highly recommend getting pointed ones!).

These are really not that difficult to do, but can be quite time-consuming and the most important tip I can give you is to go one step at a time (and to address your envelopes first—I needed to put a lined index card into each envelope to write the addresses in a straight line, and I wouldn't have been able to see the lines through the envelope if I'd attempted it after the liners were already affixed)—trace them all, then cut them all, then crease them all, then affix them all— take a break when you feel like the best thing to do with your envelope liners is throw them down the garbage disposal, and get a friend to help you (allowing you to do two steps simultaneously!). They may not seem like a big job... but when you do 115 of these, let's just say you start to learn who really loves you. ;)

Anyway, here was the finished product:

The envelopes came from my invitation printer as part of the invitation suite, and the liner was made from text weight patterned paper from Envelopper Inc. (Taupe/Opal Florence). Although I'm quite happy with the finished product, I would not do this again!

Did you line your envelopes? Do you think it was worthwhile?

I resolve!

2009-12-31T14:11:00.000-08:00

As 2010 begins, I find it difficult to make resolutions: 2009 was so rich and full that there is little I would change. Instead, I will just look forward to the new year and all the exciting things it has in store. In 2010, I will get married. I will graduate law school; I will take (and hopefully pass!) the Bar.

I've been looking forward to this year for a long, long time, and my only resolution right now is to make sure to enjoy it: to fully experience and be aware of the moment, each big moment, as much as I can manage.

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Happy New Year, 'hive! Can't wait to share 2010 with you!

Happy holidays!

2009-12-24T09:33:00.000-08:00

It feels like I haven't blogged in awhile, but I'm in the middle of a few projects which aren't post-ready yet. I'll be back with lots of wedding goodness in the new year.

Happy holidays!

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