Keys today!

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D is picking up the keys to our new place tonight. I'd thought it would be tomorrow, so I am BUMMED that I made plans with my girlfriends on the other side of town on my last night as a "single" woman (or at least one who doesn't live with her man yet! ;).

We'll be moving what we can pack into our cars every day until Sunday, when we get the truck and move the big stuff. It'd be more efficient, I'm sure, to just move it all at once, but we can't wait!

Electric and gas get turned on tomorrow; Internet on the 3rd. But what we REALLY need done is to buy a refrigerator and get it delivered... because how do you live in a place without one??

What went wrong

I'm going to be frank and admit that I can't say much good about my mom's wedding. It's not that it wasn't good; it's just that I didn't realize until I was there how sad I was that my mom remarried and that my parents were never able to work things out. How cliché! I try to be grown up about it and recognize that my parents were just incompatible; I never had any illusions that they would get back together. And my new step-father seems to be a good match for my mom, so I try to be happy for them. It's just... hard.

I'm going to have to delete this post, aren't I?

As far as what did go right, my mom looked beautiful, I'm totally hiring her hairdresser (and maybe her make-up artist) for my wedding, the rabbi was actually kind of funny during the ceremony and not nearly as weaselly as I usually think of him as being (long story there, sorry), and the food was delicious.

As far as what went wrong... well I started to write it out but the list was ridiculous. Basically, most of it could have been resolved with a good wedding coordinator, which I am now going to commit myself to finding. The problems that I imagine could have been solved with a good coordinator: the wilted flowers (maybe a good coordinator would have made sure they made it into a fridge on a 95-degree day), a 2½-hour late caterer (maybe a good coordinator could have run around like a chicken with her head cut off looking for the caterer instead of the groom), the fact that the bridal party didn't get fed before the ceremony or during the cocktail hour (that was an add-on that had been paid for), or that the bride and groom didn't get fed AT ALL during dinner (WTH? and why didn't they tell me?!), or the fact that the open bar for the cocktail hour got closed an hour after the start of the ceremony, not the start of the reception (a good coordinator would hopefully be a good advocate for the bride and groom!).

I specify a good coordinator, because my mom had a bad coordinator. She was associated with the venue, and obviously had no interest in whether the wedding came off well or not. She actually left (for the day) during the ceremony. Who does that???

Another item checked off the to-do list

I figured I'd start moving forward with some of the easier to-do items (things that don't require in-person meetings!) so I just blocked some hotel rooms today. We got a good rate at a hotel that we actually like, which offers a guest shuttle to our venue (which will be nice—and safe!—after the three-hour open wine/beer bar we're holding).

Honestly, the biggest item on my list until now has been "Get through mom's wedding." She didn't demand all that much of me, really, but now that it's done, I feel like I'm actually free to start taking my own seriously again. Finally!

Her colors were pink, orange and purple. Coincidentally, so were my shoulders

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My mom's wedding was last night. I tried to take pictures, but my camera pretty much immediately ran out of batteries (so that happened...). Mostly what I did last night, though, was suffer: I lost track of time out on the beach on Saturday (in 80+ degree weather) and BURNED LIKE A FREAKING IDIOT. I tried to ignore the pain (it's not about me it's not about me it's not about me) but every time a long-lost relative tried to give me a hug, it was all I could do not to start shrieking in pain. MISERY ALL AROUND.

I'm actually still on fire. D is coming by on my lunch break (he's off today) to bring me some of the aloe gel we bought yesterday that I forgot to apply this morning (and GODDAMN DOES IT HURT).

So... I'll tell you more about my mom's wedding after the aloe application, at which point I will also explain why I am now more certain than ever that we MUST HAVE at LEAST a Day-Of Coordinator.

All of our friends have STDs

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Save the Dates, that is! D just got confirmation that the Laotian contingent (Best Man and his girlfriend who are living in Laos just because they felt like it) have now received our Save the Date magnets (which means the part of his family living in France probably has, also!). Woo!

This is all very exciting to me: for months after booking the venue, I really did very little for the wedding (except for putting a deposit down on a steal for letterpress invitations. But in the past week, I've (loosely) confirmed that we have a rabbi to perform the ceremony*, a photographer for beautiful pictures, and have changed my mind 25 more times (at least) about the dress. :) This is progress, people!

* As it turns out, MoH didn't just get her rabbi's contact information for me, she actually got him to confirm the date and it's already in his calendar! We're obviously going to wait until we meet him before we make the same kind of commitment, but he's available and willing if we want him!

Loved the photographer; tentatively booked her

So I met with the photographer today, saw more samples of her work, and talked prices. Our total budget for photography/videography/albums/etc. is $3,000. Her basic package is $3,500, but by cutting the number of hours, we're able to get down to just under $2,400 (plus tax). That means: cheaper videographer (which is fine, because I so don't care about that), and some money out of other categories will be going into album printing (including the e-pic guestbook).

For our money, we get the engagement shoot, five hours of wedding day photography (which is short, but the most we can afford), a second photographer, and high-res images. She has shot at our venue before and I love her compositions, so I am excited about this.

The deposit is 30% of the total cost, which I don't have right now, but she's promised a "right of first refusal"—so if someone else wants the date, I need to come up with the money right away (and if not, I can put it off until I have money in the bank again).

WOOHOO! Another item off the to do list!

Dress 2 accessories

Yes, I am still undecided on the dress. But I've decided that, if I go with Dress 2, I'll be going with the ivory/gold combination, and mixed metal jewelry to make sure I match both the dress and my ring, and that I don't spend a lot of money on strictly yellow gold jewelry that I won't ever wear again!

Earrings

14K Gold Filigree Chandelier Earring from Europa Jewelers
$219.75	$109.75	$234.75

I think gold chandelier earrings will be what I end up with, since they should nicely reflect the lace pattern on the dress, the semi-South Asian look I'm going for (Indian and Pakistani bridal jewelry certainly inspired this trend!), and I just think they look prettier in gold than in silver. ;) I did find the two-tone earrings, which is great in case I decide I want to go that route, but I actually like the pair in the middle (the cheapest ones! HOORAY!) the most.

Bracelets

Amrita Singh India Bangle Set (of 36), $38 each at Gilt Groupe ($90 retail)

I actually just bought these from the Gilt Groupe yesterday, with the plan of mixing and matching a few from each set on each wrist. Hopefully they'll work out!

Shoes

Charles by Charles David 'Chill' Sandal, $134.95 at Nordstrom	Sergio Rossi 'Prisca' Slingback Sandal, $495 at Nordstrom	Jimmy Choo 'Claret' Sandal, $524 at BlueFly

Unfortunately, none of these shoes are available in my size (and at least two of them are way too expensive). But they do reflect what I want, quite accurately: gold, strappy, and with a high heel (approximately 4 to 4½ inches). At least I know what I'm looking for now.

I do have a pair of shoes at home already (FREE WEDDING SHOES!!) that might work with the dress... I haven't taken a picture of them yet but they are olive green with gold threading, super strappy, and have gold, cream, and green-colored embroidery on the top strap (they are sort of like T-strap sandals). The heel is a little on the short side (maybe 3 inches?), but I could live with that if it's a shoe I don't have to pay for... if I ultimately like them with the dress. My bigger concern than the heel height is comfort... I've never worn them for more than a short evening out and I'm not sure they'd be functional for dancing all night. I'd better test them out first!

Catching up on the list!

I finally went ahead and asked for that contact information from MoH, and also put in a referral request at InterfaithFamily.com for a rabbi to officiate our wedding. It's entirely possible that we won't be able to get a rabbi at all—our wedding will probably be an hour before sundown on Shabbat. This doesn't matter to me—I don't really care if Israel recognizes our marriage or not—but it will probably matter to most rabbis, even the ones who would be willing to perform an interfaith wedding in the first place.

I'm meeting with the really amazing photographer tomorrow afternoon.

I think I'll put off the florist and the DJ search until after my mom's wedding. The florist I'm not looking forward to, and the DJ... well, maybe her's will work for me, and it'd be cool to see him in action first. But I'd like to find someone for under $1,000, if my photography budget is going to "grow," so we'll see.

And THEN I will figure out what stuff comes next on the to-do list!

Behind on my to-do list

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Other than making an appointment with a photographer (who may be one of many; we'll see), I haven't really been staying on top of my planning timeline (see sidebar). In fact, I'm so behind that I haven't even updated the list of things I need to do now that it's June 24 and the wedding is less than nine months away!

I'll update the sidebar by this weekend, but I probably won't have met with any DJs, officiants, or florists by then. ;) But I would like to have a significant handle on all of these vendors by August sometime... I'd hate to have to do all of the major planning within six months of the wedding; that sounds like a nightmare!

Contemplating completely busting the budget...

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...on photography. You know, on the one thing that outlasts the day? The thing that's more important than the tux you have to return, the dress you'll end up selling eventually (or that your daughter will be horrified you've offered to let her wear because god, mom, that's sooooo 2000s), the drinks no one will remember (especially when they're good), or the food that will stay with you just a little longer than you'd like?

Well in any event, I have a bit of a love affair with good wedding photography, but a small, small budget. There are lots of photographers in my price range, but I haven't seen any whose work inspires me. I have, however, seen lots of those photographers (the inspiring ones!) with $5,000 minimum charges. :(

So I just found a photographer whose work was really impressive, with a $3,000 minimum (although her smallest package is $3,500). I told her I loved her portfolio but that she was a little out of our price range (and by a little, I should have said a lot... but I think this is one of those things worth stretching for if we can meet somewhere in the middle) and that we'd love to work with her if she was willing to work with us and our teeny tiny budget. AND SHE ACTUALLY EMAILED ME BACK! So yay!

Meeting on Thursday. Hopefully she is still available when I can put the deposit down in late August, if we can make a deal. ;)

Much more reasonable

Lenox "Jubilee Pearl" Toasting Flutes, Set of 2 $58 at Macy's

Now these are a lot more reasonable toasting flutes than the crystal ones I found yesterday, even if they're not quite so "fancy."

I'm thinking of adding these to our registry so that we might have at least one nice keepsake—just one thing that isn't entirely useful!—from our wedding. They sort of coordinate with our china pattern, and I think the pearls in the stem would be fun with some nice "bubbly." Hey, why not?