Friday, August 7, 2009

An appointment

I finally made an appointment with the rabbi to meet and figure out what our ceremony would look like if we went with him. I'm suddenly not feeling so confident about this, though... see, I don't really want a Jewish wedding. I want a wedding that pays homage to my Jewish background, without the religiousity (and, let's face it, without the sexism) of an actual Jewish wedding. I'd been floating along with the idea that, since the rabbi belongs to a Reform synagogue, that we'd avoid some of the aspects of the rituals that I find so objectionable. I grew up in a Conservative congregation (one step down from Orthodox, although mine was more progressive than some Conservative congregations), and I don't think I was quite clear in my head that "Reform" is still Jewish. Not secular. Just modern.

I'm hoping he'll be open to customizing our ceremony a lot. There are some customs we would love to include, but D would not be willing to have me "consecrated" to him "according to the Law of Moses and Israel." (I don't think I would want that, either!) And if not—if he requires us to promise to raise our children Jewish (I can't make that promise before they are even conceived... I feel differently everyday), or if he insists that D make the ritual declarations—we'll have to find someone else to do the ceremony. That's all.

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