I don't know how many of you are Jewish, or have a lot of experience with Bar/Bat Mitzvahs (Mitzvot?), but today my dad sent me the FIRST funny email forward I have ever received from him. Way back when I was a wee little 13-year-old, I had a pretty intense Bat Mitzvah—I led most of the 2½-hour service myself (I was always an overachiever), and we followed it up with a $10,000 party (which seemed awfully intense at the time... nowadays that's probably just a tiny drop in the bucket compared to what some people are doing). Anyway, hopefully some of you might find this even half as funny as I do.
It is with great stress, emotional and physical fatigue
and incredible financial sacrifice beyond comprehension,
that we invite you to join us as our wonderful son
Jacob Adam
is called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah
Saturday, May 12th
(yes we realize its Mother's Day Weekend)
Temple Israel
14 Coleytown Road
Westport, Connecticut 06880
at the ungodly hour of 9 am
Even though you don't really need to be there
until 10:20am to catch the real action
If you make it through the 3 hour service,
please skip the kiddush (it's just cookies and cake)
and join us instead for the ostentatious evening meal
(Kosher, my husband's idea)
which starts at 7 PM
(not 8 PM.. or you will miss out on the 2000 canapes)
Birchwood Country Club
25 Kings Hwy S
Westport, CT 06880 20
(which we had to join just for this event and you would not believe the initiation fees)
Please have the courtesy of showing up if you RSVP that you are attending, or you will be billed for $210.00 a plate if you are a no-show.
Please RSVP as soon as you get this and not a day before the cut-off date. I can't take the stress.
The gift of choice is either green, or contains a routing and account number.
Hope you can make it!
Lisa and David Miller
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