Sunday, September 27, 2009

It's my day, right?

For me, one of the only must-haves for our wedding is my bridal henna. It's one of the only things I've been very clear on in my vision for the day since we first started seriously planning. But for some reason, everyone is giving me grief over it (maybe because it's the only thing no one has been able to change my mind about!). So I'm considering ways to get this done while minimizing other people's involvement (and thus my stress!).

My first thought was that I have to get it out of my mother's house, which leaves two options: another house, or a shop/studio. While the shop makes sense in a lot of ways, it's hard to find one outside of Little India (which is over two hours in traffic from the hotel we're all staying in before the wedding, and at least an hour and a half from where everyone involved lives and works) where I also trust the artisanship of the girls doing the work. So that's out.

That leaves someone's house, aside from my mother's—the giver of the grief! The only viable option, then, is my own: I don't want to impose on my FMIL like that (it's not her tradition), and where is more convenient for me to go than home? BM2 will be there with me the whole day before the wedding, and MOH might be able to be there, too, so I won't be alone... I'll be there with my best ladies! But do I still want my bridesmaids hennaed? Or my mother and D's mother? Do I want a party at all (and if I do, how will I feed everyone in my tiny apartment?), or just not to be alone through the long process?

I try not to impose on other people or insist that it's "my day." It's really a big thought in my mind through the planning process. I considered just doing my own henna, on my own, and not having a party to do everyone else's at all. But the mehndi the night before is one thing I have had clear in my mind for the whole wedding planning process. Having been to so many of my cousins' mehndis, I know that this is something that I want and can't let go of. I don't really feel that the focus will be on me at the wedding: there are too many people I won't know there, and I won't really be free to just hang out with the people who are closest to me the way I want. I just really want people together and focused (on me! HA!) the day before, before it's too crazy! This is the only thing I WANT!! But the logistics are stressing me out a lot.

How do you deal with people raining on your (wedding) parade?

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