I decided to have a little chat with my mother about all this wedding business. She seems to be misinterpreting my stress as just generalized worrying about the wedding, but it's not: it's knowing more or less what I want, and not being able to move forward AT ALL with ANYTHING because most vendors are less than inclined to hold a date for you without at least a nominal deposit. She agreed to give me a little in the next few weeks so that I can secure my videographer (which I think I've found, pending confirmation of the price!) and my deejay (which I haven't found yet), and the rest in several months, which was exactly what I was hoping for!
So after this weekend, Operation "Okalani-Lobsterson" Knot-Tying moves forward at full speed! Finally!!!