A perfect match!

While Mr. Spaniel and I considered whether we were willing to drop the extra cash on an imperfect match of a wedding band (or buy a plain ring instead), we thought we'd visit a few other jewelry stores and see if we found anything better. Although I was pleased as pie with my engagement ring, I was just plain mad that the shop was so unhelpful in finding the matching band, and I didn't want to give them more of our money. In fact, I was willing to spend (a little) more to give our business to someone else who hadn't already annoyed us.

We ended up walking into a big chain store after our first failed attempt at ring shopping, hoping that we'd find something closer to the original and apparently unavailable band just through the law of large numbers—with so much variety, surely they'd have something that would work! I am so glad we gave it another shot before we went and bought a ring I wasn't as excited about, because we found a Miss Spaniel-can-hardly-complain-about-it-it's-so-similar wedding band at Robbins Bros! It's true that the profile isn't quite as high as my e-ring (part of the reason is that my e-ring is too big and needs to be re-sized), but everything else lines up pretty much perfectly.


The salesperson we met with asked to see my engagement ring, disappeared for about 90 seconds and then came back with the perfect band. AND it was $5 less than the original one. $5! What a savings. ;)

Even better, they cleaned and dipped my engagement ring (re-plated it with the rhodium that keeps white gold white and sparkly), and now it looks as pretty as the day we brought it home the first time.

I know we would have spent a lot more if we'd bought my engagement ring there (the same shop where I first met Ritani and the accompanying overpriced diamond), but I almost think it could have been worth it. The service we've received there was tremendously superior to what we've experienced from the shop where we bought my engagement ring. Oh well! I guess now we know for... next time? An upgrade? :)

Would you be willing to pay more for better service down the road, or did you look for the best deal upfront?

Clutch!

I'm not sure how important finding the right bridal clutch is. At least, I wasn't sure, until I thought I let the perfect one sell out.

French clutch, $78 ao3designs
The price was a little more than I'd wanted to spend (I was looking to keep it under $50, since I know I will never use an ivory clutch again!), but the match is probably the most perfect thing I've ever seen. It matches just about perfectly with everything I'm wearing, from the ivory and gold on my dress to the diamond pattern in the background. Me loves.

In addition to Clutch Perfection, I was also considering Clutch Pretty Darn Good.

Elegance in Venice, $45 at Misma
Jet Set, $45 at Misma
Jessica McClintock rose flap clutch, $28 at Nordstrom
The prices were better, but when I thought I was relegated to one of them instead of Clutch Perfection, I was kind of bummed out. (Which is how I knew it was worth the extra moolah!)

Luckily, I'm an Etsy newb and just didn't understand the way it worked: the listing I had bookmarked did sell out, but that didn't mean there wasn't another one available—Clutch Perfection could still be mine! (Of course I snapped it up immediately; it's now on its way!)

Will you carry a purse on your wedding day? How did you find yours?

Inspiration I could have lived without!

One item I never included in our more detailed wedding budget was my veil. I didn't need to—I have a hand-me-down! It's an ivory, elbow-length veil that my mom wore at her wedding to my step-father this past summer.

Photograph by Ken Portnoy
(I'd only use the back veil, not the blusher.) It's perfect for me since it doesn't have any additional embellishments—I feel like my dress is embellished enough!

Still, when I saw these mantilla veil photos at The Sari-Clad Bride, I had to reconsider my commitment to the simple veil.

(Photographs by David Schwartz Photography, via)

Too pretty, but my wallet hurts to think about trying to find something like this!

Did you find any great inspirations that you had to talk yourself down from?

Five to four months before (by November 20)

• Book the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner venues
  We've booked both!
• Check on printing of wedding invitations
  Dude, I am way ahead of you.
• Order the cake
  We have a three-tier cake with chocolate fudge designs, filled with yellow cake and fruit filling, soaked in brandy. It will be AMAZING.
• Send the guest list to the bridal shower hostess
  Not yet. Not worried.
  
• Purchase shoes and start dress fittings
  I have my shoes, but I can't start my fittings until my dress comes in! Any day now...
  
• Schedule hair and makeup artists
  I've had my hair person for months, but I haven't found someone to do makeup yet.
• Choose songs
  We've picked all of our ceremony music (except for the groom's processional) and probably our first dance.
  
• Plan welcome baskets
  I know these can be really nice and thoughtful, especially when people are traveling for your wedding. But most of our guests are not traveling far, and those that are will be staying with their families (who are just as local as D and I are to the venue) and we're not really planning to extend our budget here. So we won't be doing welcome baskets. We might do bathroom baskets.

Processing the processional (music), Part IV: Recess!

Previously:
Part I
Part II: Getting traditional
Part III: Here comes the bride

I debtated keeping at least one musical secret from you, but the debate pretty much went like this:

Maybe I should not post my recessional music, and keep it a surprise until after the wedding! Nevermind, that's dumb.

Recessional: This Will Be Our Year

I usually think of this as a New Year's song, but I find it sweet and festive and I think it's just the right feel for after a wedding ceremony. We won't be using a string version of this song; the original is too perfect!

I'm so excited about our ceremony music! What pieces did you choose for your ceremony?

Ketubah? Gesundheit!

Our current wedding-related mission is to find the "perfect" ketubah. That means two things: finding the artwork we like, and then hoping that it either comes with the text we like as an option or that it can otherwise be customized. The original orthodox text is actually written in Aramaic and tranliterated into Hebrew (no English appears on the document), and is only signed by the witnesses and the rabbi—not the bride or groom.

On __________ [day of the week], the __________ day of the month __________ in the year __________ since creation of the world, the era according to which we are accustomed to reckon here in the city of __________ how __________ son of __________ said to this virgin __________ daughter of __________ 'Be thou my wife according to the law of Moses and Israel, and I will work for thee, honor, support, and maintain thee in accordance with the custom of Jewish husbands who work for their wives, honor, support, and maintain them in truth. And I will set aside for thee 200 zuz [traditional money], in lieu of thy virginity, which belong to thee (according to the law of Moses), and thy food, clothing, and necessaries, and live with thee in conjugal relations according to universal custom.' And __________ this virgin consented and became his wife. The dowry that she brought from her father's house, in silver, gold, valuables, dresses and bedclothes, amounts to __________ [100 silver pieces], and the bridegroom consented to increase this amount from his own property with the sum of __________ [100 silver pieces], making in all __________ [200 silver pieces]. And thus said __________ the bridegroom, 'I take upon myself and my heirs after me the responsibility of this marriage contract, of the dowry, and of the additional sum, so that all this shall be paid from the best part of my property, real and personal, that I now possess or may hereafter acquire. All my property, even the mantle on my shoulders, shall be mortgaged for the security of the contract and of the dowry and of the addition made thereto.' __________ the bridegroom has taken upon himself the responsibility for all the obligations of this ketubah, as is customary with other ketubot made for the daughters of Israel in accordance with the institution of our sages—may their memory be for a blessing! It is not to be regarded as an illusory obligation or as a mere symbolical delivery between __________ son of __________ the bridegroom, and __________ daughter of __________ the virgin, and they have employed an instrument legally fit for the purpose to strengthen all that is stated above, and everything is valid and established.

How romantic, right?

Although the ketubah is sort of like the original prenuptual agreement and is designed to protect a married woman from abandonment by her husband, it's not really a very egalitarian or progressive document by today's standards. It seems more than a little inappropriate to Mr. Spaniel and I with this language, given our actual religious backgrounds. Luckily, there is a whole world of texts out there, from "Conservative" to "Secular Humanistic," and most ketubot sellers have an option for completely custom text as well, which appeals to us a lot! It's like writing your own vows, for people who are terrified of speaking their own vows aloud!

Anyway, I believe we've narrowed our ketubah search down to two beautiful ketubot.

	vs.
Embracing Trees by Ruth Stern Warzecha, $200		Papercut-Ivory by Ardyn Halter, $245
(source)
* Mr. Spaniel's favorite * Trees! * Lower cost * Custom text ($135) and different sizes available		* My favorite * Traditional papercut design * Custom text available ($375-450)

Objectively, Embracing Trees, which I showed you earlier, is the better choice. It has a wider variety of texts available, and if we want to write our own text, it's still relatively affordable. Mr. Spaniel also likes it better because of the natural imagery—what can I say; the man likes trees. But I cannot get the papercut ketubah out of my head! There are a few reasons for my preoccupation:

• Look at how intricate the cut work is!
• You could change the design any time you wanted by simply changing the color of the mat behind it
• Deer are common decorations in both Jewish and Scandinavian artwork, which brings both of our heritages together into one beautiful and meaningful document
• Did I mention how gorgeous that papercutting is?

Although it's not Mr. Spaniel's favorite, he's considering conceding since he knows how very much I love it. But because it's not just a digital print, it's much harder to customize than his choice. Most of the egalitarian options that would have been acceptable to us are not available, and custom text costs up to three times as much on the papercut design than the tree one! It's hard to justify nearly $700 on a piece of paper, no matter how intricate the cutting. :( So the search may go on...

What do you think? Should we splurge?

Strawberries and champagne

One of my favorite ways to celebrate a big event is with a bottle or two of bubbly. Although we won't have an official champagne toast, our venue does provide a glass of sparkling wine and strawberries for each guest after the ceremony to kick off the cocktail hour. This should not only be sparkly and delicious, but will also apparently provide a great photo opp!

(source)
Since one of a good thing is never enough, strawberries and champagne will be making another special guest appearance on our wedding day: on my skin! See, I am not really a perfume-y type of girl: my favorite scent on human skin is that of soap. I do sometimes indulge in an oatmeal and honey lathering, or rosemary and sage, but that's really as crazy as it gets. I know, I'm a wild one.

For this one big day, I think I'd like to mix it up a little and maybe smell like something other than just soap. So after exhaustive research, I think I've figured out the fragrance for me!

Secret Garden Collection from Victoria's Secret, $9
I haven't decided if I'll go for the eu de toilette or the body mist—I'm almost afraid the eu de toilette will be too strong after years of wearing no fragrance at all—but I definitely enjoy this scent. It's fresh and light and natural, and I think Mr. Spaniel will enjoy it, too.

Are you picking a new scent for your wedding day, or going with something tried and true?

A traditional, non-traditional ceremony

When I told the 'hive about our officiant-choosing dilemmas, I got a lot of helpful suggestions, like finding a non-denominational minister or having a friend get ordained to perform the ceremony. How did you all get so smart? :)

(source)
After a lot of discussions and meeting with a Reform Rabbi from a Los Angeles synagogue that we really liked who was willing to do just about anything we wanted in a ceremony except co-officiate (which I didn't want anyway), Mr. Spaniel and I finally were able to agree... to find a non-denominational officiant! The truth is that neither of us are religious people, and while he liked the rabbi in general, Mr. Spaniel wasn't really comfortable with the concept of being married by a rabbi at all. Although it was a difficult compromise to make at first, I realize now that a secular wedding really suits us much better.

We began the search for our officiant where we begin all wedding-related searches: online! After asking the lovely ladies on the boards for some recommendations and doing a few Google searches of my own, Mr. Spaniel and I shot off some emails to a few prospective officiants and talked to our parents for more ideas. We liked the idea of a Unitarian Universalist minister (there are two UU churches in our neighborhood!), since we didn't expect to find anyone already in our lives to do our wedding. But--serendipity!--it turns out Mr. Spaniel's family knew the perfect guy, who is a good friend of his parents', has a nice speaking voice, and is already ordained by the Universal Life Church. Seriously, when do the stars align this easily?

I admit, I was a teensy-tiny bit nervous about it at first, but when we met Fred this weekend, my fears were allayed. He came prepared with his documentation that he was, in fact, ordained, and a pre-written ceremony sample, and we discussed what we had in mind for our ceremony. The current plan is for us to finish writing the important parts ourselves, and then meet with Fred again to discuss and adapt in the next few weeks before we hand everything over to give him time to memorize and practice.

So now that we have an officiant (hooray!), it's time for us to get to work writing our ceremony! So far, we've created the following outline.

1. Ketubah signing. The question about the "first look" that a lot of couples have to think about isn't actually a question at all for us. Of course we would see each other before I walk down the aisle: we're signing a marriage contract before the ceremony!

2. Introduction. We're willing to let Fred take the lead on this as someone who will have just celebrated his fiftieth wedding anniversary the month before our wedding! I'm excited to see what comes up with.

3. Readings. We would like to keep our ceremony relatively short, but we also have a few readings that we are thinking about using, including an excerpt from Khalil Gibran's "The Prophet" (On Marriage), and an e. e. cummings poem ("i carry your heart"). We haven't decided exactly which readings we'll do or who we will ask to read them.

4. Ketubah reading. The text of the ketubah will be read during the ceremony.

5. Exchange of vows. Catholic wedding vows: "Do you take ___ as your lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?" "I do." (source)

6. Exchange of rings. Unitarian ring exchange: "With this ring, I wed you, and pledge you my love, now and forever." (source) Under Jewish law, the wedding actually becomes valid when the groom "puts a ring on it." Just thought I'd throw that out there. :)

7. Pronouncement of marriage.

8. Breaking of the glass. Sometimes, people put a lightbulb in a cloth napkin and break that instead of a wine glass. Apparently it shatters more easily under the weight of a person's foot. The glass can also be turned into a work of art after the ceremony.

Are you writing your own ceremony? How did you go about doing it, and what did you include?

Changing inspirations

I promised a story awhile back about our evolving color palette. Once we'd selected a date and venue, we settled on a palette of black, ivory and green.

Table-scape (source); bridesmaid dress (source); flowers (source, source); Manolos (source); cake (souce)
Then we decided to go a little crazy--how about olive green and eggplant purple? It sounded yummy, at least!

Invitation (source); bridal lengha (source); bridesmaid dresses (source, source); flowers (source); Jessica Simpsons (source)
Eventually I dropped the purple and added gold, but after I discovered amnesia roses, I added a little lavender back into the equation.

Invitations (source); Charles Davids (source); cake (source); bangles (source); wedding dress (source); bridesmaid dress (source); flowers (source)
Among the many, many reasons I am looking forward to finally being married to Mr. Spaniel, I count getting my photos and comparing them to my original inspirations. :)

Were you able to really commit to your colors? Or did your palette change over time?

Well we always knew this about me

The Perpetual Party Planner and BarBride both gave me the "Over the Top" blog award!


For this award, I am to answer the following questions with one-word answers, and then pass the award on to six deserving bloggers. Well then.

1. Where is your cell phone? Where?
2. Your hair? Aggravating.
3. Your mother? Inexplicable.
4. Your father? Bored.
5. Your favorite food? Sushi.
6. Your dream last night? Forgotten.
7. Your favorite drink? Water.
8. Your dream/goal? Happiness.
9. What room are you in? Great.
10. Your hobby? Blogging.
11. Your fear? Failure.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Home.
13. Where were you last night? Houstons.
14. Something you aren’t? Extroverted.
15. Muffins? Please.
16. Wish list item? Droid.
17. Where did you grow up? California.
18. Last thing you did? Snack.
19. What are you wearing? Sweats.
20. Your TV? Off.
21. Your pets? Chelsea.
22. Your friends? Crazy. :)
23. Your life? Stressful!
24. Your mood? Anxious.
25. Missing someone? Nope.
26. Vehicle? Hatchback.
27. Something you’re not wearing? Glasses.
28. Your favorite store? Amazon.
29. Your favorite color? Blue.
30. When was the last time you laughed? Work.
31. Last time you cried? Saturday.
32. Your best friend? Fiancé.
33. One place that I go over and over? Work.
34. One person who emails me regularly? Mom.
35. Favorite place to eat? Couch.

I'm sure many of you have done this already, but I'll tag Chocolate Lover, Katie, Morgan, Miss Tortolita (who just got married!), RecessionistaBride, and YOU. :)

Practice makes...the perfect excuse for another party

One of the really fun things about having a rehearsal dinner is that it's almost like a chance to throw your "other wedding"--the wedding you almost had! Our guest list is about 35-40 people, so it really is a little like a small wedding. We plan to take full advantage by throwing a party that will be very little like the wedding itself. We did briefly consider a rehearsal dinner at the venue's separate restaurant, but they only had an outdoor space available. We weren't really comfortable with that for a March evening--there was no established rain plan!--and we wanted a little more gastronomic variety, so we decided to keep looking.

As an aside, I really love doing my planning primarily online. I didn't even look at venues for our wedding that didn't have a banquet menu (and prices!) available on their website. Choosing a rehearsal dinner venue for a much smaller party and trying to score a deal was a lot more work! We called and ate at restaurants all over Malibu and the San Fernando Valley before we finally found The One--in fact, I'm sure we did more research for the rehearsal dinner venue than we did for the wedding venue! But once we ate there, we knew it was it!

We ended up settling on a Persian restaurant in the Valley recommended by Papa Spaniel. The kebobs were delicious, the prices were reasonable and include a full, premium open bar (which we are not able to provide at our wedding, unfortunately), family style meal service (yay! because we're going to be family! ;), a private room, and awesome, colorful decor.

Persian family style feast
(source)
Conveniently enough, our wedding (and therefore our rehearsal dinner) fall pretty darn close to the Persian New Year. Methinks we have a party theme!

Top row, right to left: source, source
Middle row: source
Bottom row: source, source, source
Was your rehearsal dinner's atmosphere very different from your wedding's?

Processing the processional (music), Part III: Here comes the bride

Previously:
Part I
Part II: Getting traditional

A long lecture could be delivered to explain why you'll almost never hear the traditional "Here Comes the Bride" wedding march at a Jewish wedding. It would cover the intellectual history of nineteenth and twentieth century Germany, the Nazi propaganda machine, and probably a gossipy little side story on professional jealousy in the arts. The short version is that Jews of my grandparents' generation associate Wagner, who wrote the bridal march as part of Lohengrin, with Hitler and the Holocaust, and so most Jewish people won't play it at their weddings. Now you know!

(source)
But that's not why I won't be walking down the aisle to "Here Comes the Bride." Just from an aesthetic perspective, I really don't care much for the music—it's not my taste and it doesn't "speak" to me in any way. But I found something that definitely does!

Bride's processional: All I Want Is You

This is one of my favorite songs in the history of Ever. It's a great love song. But even though the lyrics are simple, they are apparently ambiguous—people say the song is about obsession and lust, or about God, about pure love... I don't want anyone to find themselves trying to interpret it as I'm walking down the aisle! So they'll be listening to this cover instead, which I'm posting because I can't embed the full studio version of the song without that incredibly strange video...


I think the Vitamin String Quartet can be pretty hit or miss with their pop covers. I like to think of this one as pretty much a hit, and I can't wait to hear this when I walk down the aisle.

What will you walk down the aisle to? How did you decide?

With a yip and a yap and a short bzz bzz!

Things may have just gotten a lot cuter around here!

Why yes, I am Miss Spaniel!

When I got the email from Pengy on an otherwise nondescript Monday night, I think I flapped my arms so quickly in my excitement that I may have actually buzzed. Could it be? Was it me? Am I really a Bee? Will D (henceforth, Mr. Spaniel) need to pinch me again?

Miss Spaniel's excited face!
So why did I pick Miss Spaniel?

The Spaniels: Miss Spaniel, Chelsea, Mr. Spaniel
Because as much as we all love Chelsea, the girl just cannot write!

While the Bee is catching up with me over the next couple of weeks I will be posting just a little less frequently here, so come visit me at Weddingbee!

Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it

On a Sunday not too long ago, Mr. Spaniel and I had the meeting we had ever so eagerly awaited since we'd booked our venue: it was the day that Mr. Spaniel and I selected our menu!

We decided to go with an hour of unlimited passed hors d'ouvres, including melon-wrapped prosciutto, crab stuffed mushrooms, teriyaki beef skewers, and potato pancakes with apple sauce. Prosciutto e melone is Mr. Spaniel's all-time favorite appetizer (so it was an easy choice, even though I don't eat pork), and we are both pretty happy with the stuffed mushrooms and beef skewers, but we're not totally crazy about the vegetarian option... we might still switch it out for the spinach and feta puffs or the vegetarian spring rolls. But my grandma will love the pancakes, so they're staying on the menu for now. As for the entreé, we already knew what we were selecting as dinner options (chicken with artichoke and prime rib) so that was relatively uneventful, but the vegetarian option turned out to be a happy surprise: egg noodle goat cheese ravioli! It sounds so good, Mr. Spaniel and I will probably both end up ordering it!

I hope our dinner looks like this!
(source)
Less eagerly awaited was the selection of our linens. Our choices were basically these: white floor length tablecloth (that's it), and polyester overlay and napkins in one of 15 (bleh) colors. We went with a black overlay and ivory napkins, which didn't thrill me to death or anything, but it will be functional and at least our ivory (or green, or lavender) rose petals among the centerpieces will stand out against the dark tablecloth. We thought about doing green napkins, but I think they will be too difficult to match in other accents (they were more mint and less olive), so we passed. It kind of makes me wish I could throw money at linen rentals, but I think we are getting a more substantial impact by throwing it at the chairs instead—we upgraded the white wooden folding chairs (which I saw set up for a wedding, and which were in dire need of a thorough cleaning) to dark Chiavari chairs.

Dark tablecloth, light napkins, and Chiavari chairs
(source, via)
And: it's done. The only decor-related decisions we have left to make, I think, concern table numbers and place cards (and maybe choosing which picture frames to use for our old wedding photo collection). This is a weight off my shoulders!

By the way, can I just mention how weird it is to start writing about things like the menu, linens, and table numbers? Like, is my wedding actually so close that it's okay to talk about details now? This is so weird!

Wedding ring fail

I love my engagement ring. In case you haven't seen it before, it's an oval halo setting with a flat pavé ½-eternity band on three sides of the shank.


One of my favorite things about my ring is that it is designed to sit flush with a wedding band. Unlike a lot of halos which have wide, low baskets, mine is prong-set above the band, and open below so that the wedding band can come right up against the engagement ring without leaving a gap.

vs.

When Mr. Spaniel and I picked my ring out, we tried it with the matching band. The band was made by the same manufacturer—the pavé band was the same width and height, with diamonds of the same shape and size and spacing. It was a perfect match, and Mr. Spaniel and I planned to buy it closer to the date.

A bit of advice: when you want something, and no substitute will do, BUY IT WHEN YOU SEE IT. Recently, we decided we were ready to buy my wedding ring and went back to the shop where we purchased the engagement ring last September to get it. Apparently, the store no longer does business with the company who made my engagement ring; they don't carry the matching wedding band anymore, and can't or won't tell us who made it so that we can find it ourselves. The only information we have to go on is that the manufacturer is in Hong Kong, which is about as close to no information as I can imagine.

I tried a few other pavé wedding bands, but none were quite right: the metal was more prominent causing the spacing of the diamonds not to align, or the band didn't come up high enough, or it was too wide, or it was way too expensive. We were looking for the perfect match, at $500. The best we could find was a similar ring that wasn't a match (or even quite as good) for $750. I may be the only one who ever notices a mismatch that slight, but you can bet your spaniel I'd be noticing... every day. And I'm not really the kind of person to forget it over time, either.

So instead of the beautiful and bling-y match, which we can't find, we'll be getting me a plain white gold band, which will be a more practical option for me that I can wear daily and during most activities. I'm pretty okay with this. It will be a comfortable ring, and I won't have to worry about little diamonds coming loose and falling out or needing to be cleaned all the time. But don't get me wrong: I am hugely disappointed. I loved the way the matching ring looked with my wedding band, and I was looking forward to all the extra sparkle. So we're thinking that, on some future anniversary, we'll either get a custom band to match the engagement ring, or buy a new engagement and wedding set and re-set the oval diamond in it. Maybe we could do the Ritani Endless Love setting that I loved first?

(source)

If you got your engagement and wedding rings separately, did you end up with a different set than you'd imagined?

Processing the processional (music), Part II: Getting traditional

Previously:
Part I

Some of our musical choices may be a bit offbeat, but with the seating of the mothers and the bridesmaids' processional, we'll be showing our traditional sides (would that be the right, or the left? Ha!).

Seating of the mothers: Prelude from Bach's Cello Suite No. 1

Obviously we won't need the Vitamin String Quartet to cover this one, but I love this music and I think our mothers would prefer something a little more classical and traditional to accompany them down the aisle.

Bridesmaids' processional: Canon in D

Is this played at every wedding? Yes. Is the reason for that because it's completely beautiful? Yes! :) I first heard this piece when I was three years old at a dance recital (I was quite the little ballerina, if by "quite the little ballerina," I actually mean I was hopping around the stage completely missing cues, just like all the other three-year-olds on the stage). The seventh-graders, one of whom was my babysitter at the time, were performing to Canon in D, and I just thought they were so glamorous and I've loved it ever since. And the first time I heard it at a wedding, I was convinced I'd walk down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon. As it turns out, I won't—but five women at my wedding will!

As for the song that I will walk down the aisle to... you'll just have to wait for that one. :)

What style of music did you choose for your ceremony? Did you go classical or contemporary? Or a mix of both?

Coming to terms

You might not believe it from the sheer number of posts I've written about this, but I'm starting to come to terms with my follicular shortcomings. In fact, I'm starting to have a pretty good idea about what my hair should look like on game day, and although it's not strictly necessary, I'm thinking it will involve a sparkly clip of some sort. I used to imagine I'd wear a flower in my hair, but I don't think it's the look I'm going for, after all.

(source)
I have a couple of criteria in mind. First, I'm looking for something around four inches wide—no dainty hair pieces for my 'do. Second, I'd like it to be sparkly rather than "organic" (that is, something that looks more like hair jewelry and less like a fabric flower). And third, I'd prefer it to have a gold tone rather than a silver one. Here are some pieces I've encountered that I would consider.

Bel Aire Bridal comb, $93 at Best Bridal Prices
Anthony David Angelina barrett, $34.99 at All Things Trendy
Gold Sabine comb, $72 at Lulusplendor
I'm not totally sure where or how I will wear my "hair jewelry" yet, but I'm pretty sure I will—if just to keep it interesting once the veil is off (I won't be wearing the veil at the reception).

Which is your favorite? Or do you have a better idea?

Saying thank you

(source)

I admit it: I'm a bit of a stickler about sending thank you notes. It's not that I'm an etiquette freak or anything—okay, maybe I am a little bit—but I think it's super-important to acknowledge someone's generosity as soon as you benefit from it. I guess I view most etiquette rules as "guidelines"—they are always safe to follow, but it's okay to sometimes bend them if it seems appropriate to your situation. But on the issue of thank you notes, no bending! Skipping or delaying the gesture of a written thank you note is not ever okay!

(source)

"Emily Post" tells me that thank you notes should be written within three months of receiving a gift, and who am I to argue? Mr. Spaniel and I are determined to stay within this time frame, but do you know what falls about six weeks after our wedding? Graduation, preceded by the two week final exam period (my last! ever!) and followed by frantic studying for the Bar exam. There is no way we are going to delay writing our thank you notes for three months! So although I love (love) the idea of a photo thank you card from the wedding, we won't be able to wait for our photographer to get back images to us to get these babies printed, written and mailed. So we're making them now!

Similar to our international RSVP inserts, I used the PDF proof from the existing stationery to create our thank you cards. (I've gotten a lot of mileage out of those proofs!)

Nope, not our names!

To simplify the process (and because I couldn't find the 4-Bar size envelopes that I wanted at Staples, just the ones that fit a sheet of letter paper folded into quarters!), I created another 1/4 sheet design—this time, I remembered to account for the margin printing problems!—and then doubled the canvas size in Photoshop to create a folding card template. I then placed two of the designs side by side, printed and cut, then used a bone folder to crease the cards in the middle for a nice, smooth fold.


Sixty pages and 120 thank you cards later, voilà! Finished thank you cards, all ready to be written during our honeymoon! They might not be as cute as the photo cards, but at least they're still personalized, they'll inform people of my new married name, and we'll be able to reuse any extras for other occasions.

How will you thank your guests?

Processing the processional (music), Part I

I don't think I've mentioned this previously, but we've finally found an officiant. It's a whole story that I'm not ready to tell yet (as I haven't met the guy... but that's yet another story! Or maybe the same one?), but it's basically given us a lot of freedom to write our own ceremony—but not our own vows—which, while awesome, is a ton of pressure (and therefore I am avoiding it like the plague).

What I'm working on instead? Figuring out our ceremony music. We're dividing our processional's music into the groom's processional (yes, Mr. Spaniel gets to stand by himself for the entire time), seating of the mothers, bridesmaids, and my walk down the aisle, and we're following the ceremony with the recessional music. We've decided to go primarily with Vitamin String Quartet covers because I find lyrics kind of distracting and not always straightforwardly aligned with what I want to say. (Have you ever noticed how difficult it can be to find a love song that isn't also about loss or pain? That's not the message we want for our wedding!)

Prelude: The Book of Love

We're thiking of playing this one (this version, with all its silly lyrics) before we start the ceremony as a cue to guests to take their seats because the real processional is about to start. I knew it was the song when I played it for my mom and she said, "This is nice..." when the music started playing but looked at me and said, "Miss Spaniel, how did you get so weird?" by the end of the first line. Well, maybe that isn't the tone we want to set...

Groom's processional: Falling Slowly

I loved this movie. I love this song. We would use the instrumental (string quartet) version, which is beautiful (some of them are kind of... not that good). I win. As soon as Mr. Spaniel agrees with me, that is (which hasn't happened yet! But I'm sure he either will eventually, or come up with something even more awesome).

Stay tuned for the rest of the ceremony music!

Meaningful and authentic

One of the ways that Mr. Spaniel and I hope to personalize our ceremony is by finding readings from different faith and cultural traditions that are meaningful to us now, or that speak to our particular backgrounds. This isn't necessarily as simple and straightforward as it sounds, though. In our first year together, we attended three weddings, and at two of them we heard the "Apache Wedding Blessing." It may be familiar to you:

(source)

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

(You can even buy calligraphic prints of it here or here!)

Sounds sweet and sentimental, right? Old and traditional? The perfect reading for a couple of semi-hippie types like Mr. Spaniel and I? Yeah, except that it's a giant fraud. Mr. Spaniel thought it sounded just a little too perfect and did a quick Google search on it, and discovered that it actually has no connection to any Native American tradition at all, but was instead written for the 1950s Western Broken Arrow by Brooklyn-born Albert Maltz. Naturally, we've decided to continue the search to find something both meaningful and authentic to incorporate into our ceremony.

Am I being too sentimental? Does it matter if this is a real Native American tradition or not?