This Will Be Our Year: Something Borrowed, Something Blue

I haven't talked much about our flowers other than a tangential post of my "inspiration" bouquet, and I'm pretty happy I didn't over-think it. Instead, I asked Devi of Les Fleurs de Vie for a green, cream, and lavender bouquet in muted tones (with a more monochromatic green scheme for the bridesmaids), and decided not to get too particular about the details. The end result was soft and lovely, and perfect.

(BM-Noe models the bridesmaid bouquet)
(My tri-color rose bouquet)
Wait, does something seem... familiar? My something borrowed and blue came courtesy of the lovely Mrs. Quiche—a wedding gift to her from Mrs. Perfume! I like to think that I took a piece of the 'Bee with me on my wedding day. :)


All photos by the spectacular Meg Perotti.

Miss anything?
The Spaniels Are Married!
Watching Paint Dry
Vendor FAIL
Putting Our Faces On
Something New
Boutonnieres and Tuxedos
Sneaky Spaniel (The First Look)

Floral oversight

When Mr. Spaniel and I found our venue online, the pictures looked like this.

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When we visited for the first time, and later with our parents, the ceremony site looked like this.

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It's one of the reasons we chose Calamigos Ranch: it is practically already done, and we didn't want to spend much on flowers and decor. With the greenery across the wooden structure and the little white lights that will be lit at our sunset wedding, it felt done already.

But when we went for our details meeting, the ceremony site looked like this.

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Apparently the greenery is the work of a florist, and not part of the venue. I don't think that the lack of it looks bad, per se, but it looks dormant—not the look we're going for in our early spring wedding.

We're not working with a traditional florist (I happily handed that job to a freelance florist I found on Craigslist who is making all of the personal flowers for less than it would have cost me to buy the flowers in bulk and all the supplies I would have needed), and she doesn't do installations like this. I don't think it would be appropriate to ask anyone we know to get up on a ladder right before the wedding to do this, either, even assuming we can find the right kind of plants. Not to mention, we really don't want to spend any more on throwaways or strictly aesthetic items. So do we find another florist to take care of the ceremony decor, going over budget (there's nowhere left to take it from!), or do we make do with the unadorned wood and twigs?

Or is there a third option that I'm not seeing?

Homegrown

Lavender is the herb of choice to inspire a natural (or nature-themed) wedding—just ask Miss Trail Mix or Mrs. Bear Cub. It's clear why, what with the beautiful scent and the pretty purple tips that add visual interest and a country-chic feel. But there just doesn't seem to be a lot of love for my favorite herb, the plain green rosemary, in weddings these days.

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There's a big rosemary bush in the backyard of the house where I grew up, and everytime I smell it, it feels like home. Rosemary also symbolizes loyalty and remembrance, and what better time for such sentiments than a wedding?

Ceremony decorations (source)Pre-fab favor idea? (source)DIY favor! I like! (source)
When I thought of DIY-ing my flowers, the thought occurred to me to add some rosemary to my bouquet as a way to honor those loved ones who couldn't be with us at our wedding, as well as to provide the familiar comfort of the smell of my old backyard as I walk down the aisle. And it doesn't hurt that the texture it adds to a floral arrangement can be pretty lovely, too!

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What do you think—do I smell a new theme here? I just found this herbal inspiration board and am drooling (and imagining home-baked rosemary sourdough bread) as I type this!

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Did you find inspiration in unexpected places? Like, say, your childhood backyard, maybe? :)

Floral findings

So that florist? I booked her last night. And since she was 40 minutes late to the apartment (thank you, MapQuest), she knocked more off the price and now I'm pretty sure that working with her will cost me less than doing the flowers myself. Great!

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We'll be using Amnesia, Vendela, and either Green Tea or Super Green roses for my bouquet, an Amneisa rose for D's boutonniere, and pale green and ivory arrangements for the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Mothers and fathers will get just ivory.

I know it usually goes the other way—doesn't the bride get the all-white bouquet?—but I kind of like the idea of having my stuff be the one that has more color and visual interest and that is more saturated, while everyone elses sort of pales in comparison. ;)

How did you make your flowers stand out from the rest of the bridal party?

One more try

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I have a meeting with another florist next week. Did I say I would do them myself? Yes. Do I now have a friend who is willing to practice with me and possibly help me on the necessary day? Yes. What I do not have is either of my parents agreeing that it's a good idea, even with all the potential for saving money, or a clear sense that there will be enough time in the days before the wedding to finish this project.

So I found this girl off of Craigslist, and her proposal is not much more than it would cost me to make them myself, given that I have to buy all of the materials and equipment in addition to the flowers. I'm going to have to ask her a few questions, like where she gets her flowers (if she gets them from the flower market, then it won't work out: I can't guarantee they'll have what I want when I want it) and how many weddings she's done in the past (I don't mind being a guinea pig, but reliability is important). AHHHH!!! So nervous. But I think this might be a good thing to get off my back.

Buddy bride

A good friend of mine just got engaged on a weekend trip with her boyfriend. I got a text on Saturday ("Woohoo! I'm engaged!"), and an email on Monday: "Now that I officially have a wedding to plan, want to practice making bouquets and stuff?"

She sent me this.

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I sent her this.

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We both said, "why the heck not?" We have a date at the beginning of October to test how long everything will take to make (we both have big wedding parties), and how long everything will last.

I'm so glad I have another bride to plan with in person! :)

Blushing bride

I am not a pink girl. But something about planning a wedding has got me looking at pink in a whole new light. Like these flowers...

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And wouldn't a pink lehenga be just gorgeous, if I could be a "two-dress bride"?

Salmon Mermaid, $1599.95 from Bargello

But let's be real: if I start venturing into any of the girly colors, it's going to be lavender. Obviously.

Has wedding planning made you feel more girly than before? Is it bugging you as much as it's bugging me? ;)

Finding my center...piece

For pretty much the whole time I've been planning a wedding (going on a whole year, now!), I've intended to "do" my own centerpieces by sticking a candle in a vase and calling it a day, à la this image:

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Simple. To the point. And, most of all, cheap.

But the tables at my venue are really big, and one candle is really small. I considered floral collars, but wasn't really sold on anything until I visited with a florist and saw something similar to this:

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She showed me four white candles in glass vases on a table, all different sizes, set among scattered red rose petals. It was really, really beautiful. And all this could be mine(!) for the bargain basement price of $55 per table! Well, plus tax. And plus delivery. Minus actually owning anything when I'm done, because it's all rented.

That just seemed ridiculous, so I went to work looking up candle-safe vases and pillars. There may be better deals out there, but I found three cylindrical glass vases (5"x12", 3.5"x10", and 3.25"x7.5"), and three ivory pillar candles (2.8"x8", 6", and 4") for about $27 per table, inclusive of tax and shipping. I estimate the rose petals at $5 per table (or less; since that is what the florist wanted to charge me, I bet I can get them myself for less money), putting my centerpieces at roughly 50% of the cost of the florist's identical centerpieces. Score!

So remaining items are to find a good source for fresh rose petals in the right color (and I haven't decided what color that is yet), and pick up a few more vases. My bridesmaids are scattered throughout a few tables, and I'd like to set one empty vase for each of them to set down their bouquets. Maybe I'll decorate the vase with a ribbon around it somewhere with each girl's name on it? I'm also planning to pick up some smaller ones to make centerpieces for the tall cocktail tables that will be set around the dance floor, which will give it a slightly different decorative feel than the dinner area.

Flower freak

Step 1: Visit with two different florists on opposite sides of Los Angeles within a one-week period. Leave both studios unimpressed.

Step 2: After failed florist visits, finally realize what exactly you are looking for, look up incredible bouquet tutorial and find online sources for bulk flowers.

Step 3: Find another flower to include, but make sure that it's one that you can't get from the same dealer as the earlier flowers. You know, really make it difficult for yourself.

Step 4: Go back and visit your venue. Realize that they've entirely redone the ceremony area... SO THAT YOU NO LONGER NEED A FLORIST EVEN FOR THE CEREMONY DECORATIONS, and therefore it would be totally unjustifiable to spend the extra money to hire one.

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Step 5: Freak out when you can't find a good tutorial on boutonniere and wrist corsage making. Post all over every message board you can find; receive no completely helpful answers (because you are a flower dunce).

Step 6: Have a long conversation with your mother about how you will never be able to make six bouquets, twelve boutonnieres and three wrist corsages on the Thursday before your wedding because you have to have your rehearsal on Thursday, and have to get your nails done before that because you're having henna done the next day and for some reason(?) can't get your nails done the day of the henna. Realize there are not enough hours in the day.

Step 7: Look for help on Craigslist. Find lots of florists; assume none are eager to work just for their labor if they can't also profit from the flowers.

Step 8: Realize you have friends and bridesmaids. Get assurances from two of them (and the groom) that they will help.

Step 9: Remember roses have thorns that need to be removed. Imagine wedding photos full of scratched arms and bleeding hands. Start looking up professional florists again to do all of the work.

Step 10: Have a budget discussion with your future husband, and realize you can't afford a florist even if you want one.

Step 11: Deep breaths.

Step 12: Decide you will deal with this decision later.

What's my new obsession? I forgot

Haha, no; it's amnesia roses!

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The upside is that they are beautiful, have some green petals, and purple was one of my originally-planned wedding colors (eggplant and olive: it could have been a tapenade!)—a plan that I still intend to tell you all about, when I get to it. The downside is that the wholesaler who carries both Green Tea and Sahara roses at about $1 per stem does not carry Amnesia roses, and to buy just 25 of them elsewhere is looking like it will cost another $100.

Clearly, something must be done. And that something is either falling in love with Jade or Supergreen roses instead of Green Tea ones (something I am reluctant to do because the color on both is too saturated for me since I want something in a muted green), which will allow me to get all three of my required varieties (Amnesia, Sahara, and some shade of green) for $1 per stem; OR (the more likely course) keep looking. It's not like I need 225 roses (or more) to create personals for myself and the wedding party, so I would like to spend less than $300 on roses if I can, and still get all the flowers I want.

Although now that I'm at DIYing my flowers, maybe I should start looking into doing my ceremony decorations on my own instead of hiring a florist (I'm already planning simple, non-floral centerpieces, so the florist is becoming less and less necessary). I know I can't get florals up onto the large wooden structure over the altar on my own, but maybe I can decorate the aisles and chairs, and forget the altar? Hm. I will let you know what I come up with.

By the way, can I mention how excited I am right now?! I scrapped a lot of DIY projects because I thought the wedding would be too big with too many guests, and I am just SO EXCITED to find new things I can attempt! It's been a long time since I exercised my inner artiste, and I can't wait to see what I can still do. :) Or not?

Let them eat cake

D and I went back to the bakery today for a second cake tasting, and have finalized our selection. We'll be getting a henna-inspired cake with off-white buttercream base and chocolate fudge design in approximately this pattern:

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They actually have a similar cake as part of their regular portfolio which is decorated with gum paste tiger lilies. When we asked about Green Tea roses, though, they offered to use fresh, organic Jade roses... for less than the artificial ones cost. Score! The color is close enough, the price is right, and we are *set*—and $200 under budget!

Who needs a florist, anyway?

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Green Tea Rose (source)		Sahara Rose (source)		Green Carnation (source)

= saving myself over $300 when purchased in bulk, wholesale, online.

Yes, I will be making my own (and my bridesmaids') bouquet, I think. And all the boutonnieres, and mothers' corsages... I'll still be hiring the florist for ceremony decorations, though. I'm not getting anyone I know on a ladder to decorate the monstrosity at the end of the aisle on my wedding day.

Seven months to go!

No vision = no confidence?

There are two aspects of my wedding "vision" that I am really undecided about: flowers, and hair. Perhaps flexibility is a good thing, because I am not tied to anything in particular and so deviation is okay; I won't be let down if it doesn't look a certain way because there is no certain way. But right now, it feels like a BAD thing! It's less anything goes, and more like nothing goes!

When it comes to flowers, I get torn between images like these:

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But neither one is really it. I'm wondering if it's because I haven't really found what I'm looking for yet, or if it's just because flowers and I just don't really understand each other, ya know?

One way or another, though, flowers are pretty and whatever I get will be fine, I guess. The true angst I suffer is with my hair. I have a stylist already, but I'm not sure I'm too thrilled about that. Recent creations of hers have included these:

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(photograph by Artistic Images, bizarre processing by me)		(personal image)

Quite frankly, neither of these are my style. But I really don't know what is my style, at least not in a way that I can commit to thoroughly for what is, if not the most important day of my life, at least the day of my life that will be documented with the most expensive pictures of my life.

But perhaps there is hope. Today at Weddingbee, Miss Beagle posted, among others, this image:

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It's not exact—my hair isn't long enough, despite months (nay, years!) of attempting to grow it out. But maybe something like it will work...? I still can't commit to up or down (up looks so bridal, but my head is so small I'm afraid I'll look like a pinhead!), though. We can't make this too easy, now can we?

Who needs the Electric Slide?

Not when you've got bhangra!

(Think we can talk our bridal party into this one?)

So we've booked our DJ, officially, with deposits and all. AH! I am so relieved, and so afraid. ;) She says she specializes in bhangra and "ethnic" music, and, well, that's what we're giving her: a classical/pop music as performed by a string quartet for the ceremony; jazzy, easy-listening tunes for the cocktail hour and most of dinner; and some crazy bhangra-salsa-flamenco-hip hop-80s pop-rock n' roll mix for the rest of the evening. (Hey, we never promised any particular ethnicity.) I hope she's good. :)

I also met with a florist today. I'm pretty comfortable using them, although I haven't booked them yet: a $500 retainer fee stands between us! Maybe in a few weeks.

Wedding planning from 250 miles away

Since going on vacation, I've made an appointment with a florist (recommended by MoH—he did her wedding ten years ago!), a rabbi (well, actually I have an appointment to call his assistant/"keeper of the calendar" to make an appointment with him), and booked half of our honeymoon. In the interest of saving money on flights, we'll be doing a road trip up to wine country and down the central coast, which should be really beautiful (and COLD) in March. We've booked the wine country leg, and FMIL has offered to put us up for two nights in beautiful inns where she and FFIL have stayed in the past that she really wanted us to see (but that we couldn't have afforded on our own). Then we have one more place we need to call during business hours to see if we can get a better rate for two mid-week nights (July through December rates are posted at half of 2010's rates, which are over $300 per night). And then all that will be left is the deejay, really. The dang deejay.

Ceremony and reception decor

I already knew I was not going with floral centerpieces for the wedding, but I got a sort of reconfirmation of this today when I found my vases/hurricane candle holders, pillar candles, and river rocks for twenty tables for only $237.80. I will try to sell the vases and the rocks after the wedding, too.

So that leaves for the florist: 1 bridal bouquet, 5 bridesmaid bouquets, 1 groom's boutonniere, 11 other boutonnieres (6 groomsmen, 2 bridesmen, Papa Spaniel, my step-dad, and FFIL Spaniel), 3 corsages (mothers and grandmother), and any floral decorations we will need for the ceremony.

Well, given that my photography/videography/deejay expenses are going to top the $5,000 limit I'd originally set for them (probably by about $500) and that part of the floral budget is being burned up by candle centerpieces (pun absolutely intended), I need to find all of the flowers for under $1,200. How will I do it?

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With Baby's Breath, duh.

I don't really know what these bouquets will cost yet, but I would imagine: not that much. Still, I don't want Baby's Breath for the bridal bouquet or the corsages/boutonnieres—I just don't think they'll look right, so here is my second floral.

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Why, Green Tea Roses! They match our colors, won't look bad with some Baby's Breath interspersed (I think), and they make lovely boutonnieres.

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Of course, this all depends on seasonal availability and pricing, but luckily I'm not too tied to any particular flower (I am tied only to CHEAP!!), so I think it's fine to plan. :)

Hooray! Progress!

Wedding look 10

Dress: Allure Bridals style 8634 (first photo taken by BM5; front and back views from official website; detail close-up photo taken by BM5), $1,190. Jewelry: Oval Aquamarine and Lab-Created White Sapphire Earrings in 10K White Gold, $199.99 at Zales; matching pendant, $199.99 at Zales. Bridesmaid Dresses: Dessy Bridesmaid styles 2509 and 2053 in ivory satin and black lace. Henna: image from Roving Sugarbeet. Bridal Shoes: Stuart Weitzman "Gloloopy" peep toe slingback in ivory satin, $178 from BlueFly. Bridesmaid Shoes: B.P. Platinum "Engagement" Sandal in black satin, $69.95 at Nordstrom. Flowers: Green wedding bouquet, image from Martha Stewart Weddings. Clutch: Jessica McClintock Satin Frame Lace Soft Body, $41 at Zappos.

I already put together one of these boards for Dress 2, so here is Dress 3.

I tried on this dress in white, but I would definitely get it in ivory. I like the look of the back better than that of Dress 2. And the "bling" on the waist is starting to grow on me. (Oh crap, I'm starting to convince myself that this is the dress!)

I'm not sure if this is the exact jewelry I would want to wear, but I definitely think a low neck like this one needs some kind of pendant necklace, and it'd be fun to put "something blue" into my jewelry, without going as dark as sapphire. I haven't found what I'd like to wear on my wrists, yet, if anything.

I think the lace in the two bridesmaid dresses complements the lace in the wedding dress, and, as before, I would let my bridesmaids choose their black shoes in the interest of saving them money and letting them be comfortable.

And the clutch? Well, that's just darn cute. The girls may find themselves gifted with Jessica McClintock clutches if I go with these dresses.

Wedding look 9

Dress: Allure Bridals style 8601 (first photo taken by BM5; front and back views from official website; detail close-up photo taken by BM5), $1,110. Shoes: Martinez Valero "Waverly" Pump in white satin, $154.95 from Nordstrom. Jewelry: Lois Hill Cutout Scroll Leaf Earrings, $188 at Nordstrom; Matte Bangles (Set of 12), $48 at Nordstrom. Bridesmaid Dresses: Dessy Bridesmaid styles 6503 and 2054 in black satin and tulle. Henna: image from Nomads and Housewives. Bridesmaid Shoes: Nina "Larine" Evening Sandal in black satin, $79 at Macy's. Flowers: Green wedding bouquet, image from Martha Stewart Weddings.

I'll be putting together one of these boards for Dress 3 also, but here is a look at Dress 2 first.

For Dress 2, I don't know if I'd like to wear a veil or keep it simple (since the dress already has something going on), and I haven't decided between white/silver and ivory/gold (I want ivory/silver!). I wanted to find shoes and jewelry that complemented the shape of the lace appliques on the dress, and I think these do.

These aren't the exact shoes I'll ask my bridesmaids to wear: I'm going to let them pick their own black pumps or peep-toes so that they can wear something they already have (if they have it) and be sure that they are comfortable. They've just about all agreed to do the henna with me the day before the wedding (my bridesmaids are such troopers!), so that's exciting...

I'm not dead-set on these bridesmaid dresses, but I wanted to pull the look of the swiss tulle on the wedding dress into the bridesmaid dresses—maybe there are better tulle options for bridesmaid dresses out there with both a strap/sleeve and strapless option? I'll keep looking, anyway.

I'm also pretty uncertain about these flowers. I like them, and the colors, but I think this dress needs a neater, more pulled together floral look.

Getting back to the to do list

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As much as I've enjoyed my staycation the past two weeks, I really haven't done much that was wedding-related since the semester ended other than a few attempts at dress shopping. While the dress shopping helped me get back in the wedding planning mood (a little—now that I know I can't find my dream dress in two days of shopping, I'm feeling daunted by how much work I think it might actually turn out to be), I really need to get back on the serious planning!

According to the to do list in the sidebar, I have until June 20 to book an officiant, and research DJs, florists, and photographers. My goal is to have at least two officiants to call (probably MoH's rabbi and the local Unitarian minister at the church D and I are actually thinking of eventually joining) and to meet with them both and make a decision by the end of June, and at least three (each) DJs, florists, and photographers to call as well (although I'm not in as big of a hurry to tie those down unless they are must-haves).

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For the florist, my only requirement is AFFORDABLE. I don't care about flowers, really. I need some kind of decoration for the ceremony area, a bouquet for myself, bouquets for the bridesmaids, and a bunch of boutonnieres and corsages. I don't care to make any of these myself! But I will be putting together my own centerpieces (glass jar + white candle = DONE), so hopefully that will save us some money and questions and planning and thinking about things I don't care about. :)

As far as the photographer goes, I'm going to hold off on the final decision until after my mom's wedding pictures come back in. If her guy is any good, we'll use him (cheap). If not, I've got a few local photographers in my bookmarks who fit within our budget. Honestly, I don't love any of the photographers who fall in our price range, but when you don't have $5,000 to spend on photography, you have to take what you can get, I guess.

Same goes for the DJ—we've got so many weddings to attend this summer that we'll consider it a trial run and see if we like anyone. If not, D is responsible for this one!

Anyway, I really do hope to have all of these things done by June 20 (list of vendors to call) and the end of June (officiant booked). Then I'll move on to the even less fun part of wedding planning—actually calling the vendors assembled. Bleh.

Reaffirming priorities

Once we were within a year of the wedding, I wanted to start thinking more seriously again about the actual wedding planning, and where, exactly, we wanted our budget to go.

Other than the venue and catering, which we took care of earlly, things that were really important to me are the paper, the dress, the photography and the music. I care less about the flowers and other decor. So I had to keep that in mind when I determined where to spend our money.

1. The paper. I know Mr. Spaniel would send invitations by email if he could, and I understand the sentiment... but I love stationery. I just really enjoy the feel of fine paper with high quality printing, and I think this is something I want to make sure we do well. We could spend quite a bit of money here (I've seen invitation suites for thousands of dollars), or very little, but my goal was to get 100 letterpress invitations/envelopes, RSVP cards/envelopes, and thank you notes/envelopes for under $750. Better yet, under $600. I had no idea how I was going to do that, but I suspected it would involve coming up with my own design and getting most pieces letterpressed, while getting some others digitally offset. Blah.

2. The dress. I don't think I need to spend all that much on the dress to still treat it as a priority—I just needed to be willing to look around until I find what I want. I don't need an expensive or super fancy dress, but I do need it to fit spectacularly, and it has to be something I'm going to be comfortable in all night. This one is more of a time investment than a financial one, relatively speaking.

3. Photography and music. Ugh. Almost all of the photographers whose portfolios really impressed me charged at least $5,000 for the day. That's way too much for me. I'm going to save money by printing my own photo albums, but beyond that? I don't want typical (boring) wedding photos, so I can't just hire anyone. This required a lot of research. Same story with the music—we don't want your average wedding music. We want world music that reflects our eclectic tastes, so most wedding bands are out! DJs should be less expensive, but finding (1) a good DJ, (2) who has done weddings before, (3) who has a music library big enough to fit everything we want (from indie rock to flamenco to bhangra), (4) who will MC the reception, and (5) who isn't out of our price range was a huge challenge!

So flowers are definitely getting the short end of the stick. We'll probably be doing candle centerpieces (about $15 per table to DIY?), but we'll still need a bridal bouquet, five bridesmaid bouquets, three corsages, and 11 boutonnieres. Oh my god. Can I just get someone else to do this? Oh wait, I can't; that's not in the budget!