I resolve!

As 2010 begins, I find it difficult to make resolutions: 2009 was so rich and full that there is little I would change. Instead, I will just look forward to the new year and all the exciting things it has in store. In 2010, I will get married. I will graduate law school; I will take (and hopefully pass!) the Bar.

I've been looking forward to this year for a long, long time, and my only resolution right now is to make sure to enjoy it: to fully experience and be aware of the moment, each big moment, as much as I can manage.

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Happy New Year, 'hive! Can't wait to share 2010 with you!

Happy holidays!

It feels like I haven't blogged in awhile, but I'm in the middle of a few projects which aren't post-ready yet. I'll be back with lots of wedding goodness in the new year.

Happy holidays!

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Three months before (by December 20)

• Finalize the menu and the flowers
  We have our menu (chicken with artichoke, prime rib, and goat cheese ravioli—can I have all three?) and our flowers.
• Order favors, if desired
  We'd like to do favors, but have opted not to in order to keep the budget under control.
• Create a toast makers' list
  We are still thinking about this one. The Best Man, my dad... we have to decide if we want a bit of "open mic", but we don't plan to insist on anyone else speaking. ;)
• Finalize readings
  We are only sure about the Khalil Gibran reading, but not who we will ask to read it!
• Purchase the rings
  Done and done. I love them!
• Finalize order of the ceremony and reception
  The ceremony is pretty much written; the reception needs some work.
• Print menu cards and programs
  It's not done yet, but it will be finished before I start the spring semester.
• Purchase undergarments and visit dressmaker for second fitting
  I have my undergarments... but my dress is still not in. :-/
• Send schedule to vendors
  I still need to come up with this schedule thing.

Accessorizing on the cheap

I didn't feel much of a need to splurge on accessories—they were either going to be gifts from family members (a South Asian custom), or bought on the cheap.

I wasn't sure what Papa Spaniel would come back home with from his trip to Pakistan (if anything), so I made sure to have some back-ups on hand. First were the earrings. I knew I wanted something big, gold, and kind of over the top, so I picked up these from Blue Fly.

Ben-Amun chandelier earrings (source)
Cost to me: FREE, with a gift certificate I won to Blue Fly from Weddingbee over the summer!

I didn't want to wear a necklace with my strapless, straight-across dress, but I definitely wanted some bangles, and I happened to find these on sale at Gilt a few months ago.

Armita Singh bangles (source)
Cost to me: $36, and I've already got a ton of use out of them.

Since I'm not buying any other pieces, my total jewelry cost is $36. I wasn't expecting to spend much, but that's even better than I'd hoped. :)

I might as well tell you about my shoes, while I'm at it. I found these on sale at Nine West before I'd actually bought my dress, but I waited on them until after the purchase was made... and then they were no longer available in the store. But I knew I had to have them, because they were the most comfortable heels I've tried on in a long time! Luckily I could still find them on the website for a little while longer!

Expressor by Nine West (source)
Cost to me: $40, approximately, and I will definitely wear these again after the wedding.

So if we're counting, that means that all of my accessories (the ones above, plus my veil which is borrowed, my purse which was $78, and my hair comb which was $72) cost me a grand total of $226. I could definitely have skipped the clutch and spent less, but I think it wasn't too bad... it leaves me with $750 for alterations, hair and make-up before I hit my budget. So unless I gain or lose a lot of weight quickly, I think I'm good! :)

Did you find any great deals on your accessories?

Remembering

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Have you ever heard of the Japanese tradition where a bride who folds a thousand origami cranes before her wedding ensures a prosperous and happy marriage? There's no way I'll have time to fold a thousand cranes before March (remember that law school thing?), but I've always thought this was a cute idea. But that's not why I'd attempt it. I would attempt it because it was my aunt who taught me how to make paper cranes when I was younger, because I know this is something she would have loved to have helped us to do for the wedding, and because she won't be able to be with us after a battle with ovarian cancer that ended two and a half years ago. I'm missing her a bit these last few weeks, and when this popped into my head, it seemed an appropriate way to remember her.

There are a million tutorials online (and some with video!), and I think Miss Scissors has a really fabulous one coming up for you, so I won't confuse you with my step-by-step. (You are spared!)

My goal is modest: maybe 25 of these, which I'll probably make from various scrapbook papers in our wedding colors. The next step is to figure out how to display them!

Hanging from the ceiling?

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Together in one place?

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Placed individually?

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Or maybe little mini-cranes on the place cards?

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I actually have an idea or two up my sleeve, but to maintain the suspense, I'll have to tell it to you... later!

Did you take on any projects in honor of someone who couldn't make it to the wedding? What are you doing to remember them?

(Not So) Buff Bride

After the semester ended and the 12-week mark approached, I decided it was time to start back on the Buff Bride wagon. With finals and papers my workout train was pretty much derailed for the month of November and the debris spilled into the first half of December, and I got myself WAY out of shape. Like, hurt myself out of shape: as I pulled out my dumbbells from their hiding spot at home (I hate gyms) to start Day 1, I managed to pull my right hamstring, first thing, before I even started working out. Smooth move, ex-lax.

I suffered through the workout despite the injury (except the standing kickbacks—I'm determined, not a masochist), and I am so glad that I did because I already feel a million times better. In the flurry of life—wedding, school, work, family—the easiest (and worst!) person to neglect is yourself. Exercise has almost always been a big part of my life—it's meditative for me in a way that gets me out of my navel-gazing for a time—and it was silly of me to let it go for so long. After only an hour of work, I already feel healthier, physically and emotionally. Even though I'll be limping my way through the next few days. :)

What do you do to get your focus off the wedding?

Guest list dra... wait, aren't we a little late in the game for that?

I've hit a road block. Wedding planning is easy when you're trying to decide cake flavors or floral varieties (the things that feel important but that, ultimately, are not very), but it's hard when you're fighting your family. The details are kind of personal, but the problem is probably somewhat universal: we're out of space on the guest list, and that's making some family members pretty angry. When someone as close as a grandmother (or, more precisely, the only living grandparent either of us has) threatens not to attend the wedding over it,* it makes you rethink some things (and also makes lining envelopes feel pretty irrelevant).

I've struggled with writing this post because it does touch on some really personal issues, but I know that many of us have hit road blocks just like this... and in the happy happy world of wedding planning, sometimes some of us can benefit from knowing that we're not alone when the people we love can't meet our expectations, that there are others sailing in the same boat. At least, I know I could benefit from it. :)

I'm pretty lucky because it's not affecting the most important thing: Mr. Spaniel completely supports me in not allowing myself to get walked on or bullied, and even if some key people decide that it's more important to stand up for my third cousins twice removed than for me, I'm still marrying the love of my life and will have the opportunity to create a healthier family than the one I grew up in. I am also lucky because I'll be able to get back on track with the wedding part of the planning... just as soon as I get over the shock.

*Yes, this really happened. I am debating just inviting eleven extra people to keep the peace and letting the chips (or fire code violations and budget overages) fall where they may, or standing my ground because I think that was a really, really low blow and I'm sure she'll attend anyway (and if she won't? that's a lot of poison for one family event and maybe it'd be better if she didn't).

Ornamental Inspiration: Spaniel Edition

This year, Mr. Spaniel and I are sharing our first Christmas tree. I never had one growing up (we didn't do "Hannukah Bushes" 'round these parts!), and I'm kind of loving the smell of the tree in the living room! We'd like to start a tradition of ornament exchanges, but since we're just starting out this year and aren't bringing any of our own ornaments into this relationship, our gifts to each other are packages of aluminum balls for $2.99 from Ross. ;) But another year...

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I found this ornament at Orna Mentz, and I immediately thought of a gold rosary, wrapped around a bouquet of white roses. So I made a white and gold wedding inspiration board!


Top row: Scroll invitations, Candlesticks, Dress
Middle row: Tableware, Candleabra centerpiece
Bottom row: Earrings, Shoes, Flowers and rosary
Happy holidays!

Floral oversight

When Mr. Spaniel and I found our venue online, the pictures looked like this.

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When we visited for the first time, and later with our parents, the ceremony site looked like this.

(personal photo)
It's one of the reasons we chose Calamigos Ranch: it is practically already done, and we didn't want to spend much on flowers and decor. With the greenery across the wooden structure and the little white lights that will be lit at our sunset wedding, it felt done already.

But when we went for our details meeting, the ceremony site looked like this.

(personal photo)
Apparently the greenery is the work of a florist, and not part of the venue. I don't think that the lack of it looks bad, per se, but it looks dormant—not the look we're going for in our early spring wedding.

We're not working with a traditional florist (I happily handed that job to a freelance florist I found on Craigslist who is making all of the personal flowers for less than it would have cost me to buy the flowers in bulk and all the supplies I would have needed), and she doesn't do installations like this. I don't think it would be appropriate to ask anyone we know to get up on a ladder right before the wedding to do this, either, even assuming we can find the right kind of plants. Not to mention, we really don't want to spend any more on throwaways or strictly aesthetic items. So do we find another florist to take care of the ceremony decor, going over budget (there's nowhere left to take it from!), or do we make do with the unadorned wood and twigs?

Or is there a third option that I'm not seeing?

A black tie affair

On Black Friday, Mr. Spaniel and I avoided the mall and hit up the tux shop instead. We went back and forth about whether to go for the shadow stripes or solid black, and we had a heck of a time choosing between two or three buttons. Pure agony! Okay, so it wasn't that hard: Mr. Spaniel knew he wanted tuxedos for him and his groomsmen as opposed to suits, and he knew he wanted black. Menswear in general has a lot of catching up to do to ladies' fashions in terms of complexity and stress induction, because there really weren't that many options once those two choices were made. (I promise I will make up for the simplicity of his decisions by belaboring the sock selection as much as possible.)

For the groom: a black shadow stripe, two-button coat with Victorian Gold paisley vest and tie (we'll be substituting the rental tie for this one).

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For the groomsmen (and the bridesmen!): the same thing, but with a black vest and tie.


Not too shabby! Since the rental includes the coat and pants, shirt, shoes, vest, tie and cuff links, the only item we still need to track down are the socks. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find nine complementary pairs of green, patterned dress socks? It may be the most difficult wedding-related research task I have taken on! I'm giving myself an end-of-January deadline to find them before I kiss this idea good-bye and just ask the guys to all bring their own black socks. But I would hate to give up goofy pics like these!

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What was your tuxedo-shopping experience like?

I guess you just had to be there

I was pretty excited that Papa Spaniel's sisters in Pakistan were having shalwar kameez made for me for the Mehndi (henna party), in addition to earrings and bangles for the wedding (I'll tell you about the jewelry in another post). Well, Papa Spaniel has returned and brought all the pieces with him. Of course, as is bound to happen when you leave hardcore shopping completely in the hands of your sexagenarian aunties, you might not always end up with exactly what you wanted!

Since I was born and raised in Southern California without a lot of exposure to my South Asian heritage (only Papa Spaniel is Pakistani; Mama Spaniel is fourth generation Russian/Polish/Hungarian), and have always dressed... well, like the California girl that I am, I have no idea what is fashionable or current in Karachi right now. But I do know what I like, and I was really hoping Papa Spaniel would come home with something like one of these.

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The idea was bright colors, fun patterns, and modern fit. I got... one out of my three requests. It looked a lot like this, only with a tighter cuff around the ankle and evenly spaced one-inch diameter embroidered flowers spaced every six inches over the top.

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Like I said, I don't know Pakistani fashion, but I do know Spaniel fashion, and this ain't it. I got the bright colors, but with simple and old-fashioned patterns... and it didn't fit at all. :( Apparently there was an error transmitting my measurements, and I actually can't even lift my arm because the sleeve is so tight around my bicep (that or my guns are just too impressive ;). Needless to say, I won't be pulling out the too-tight granny-outfit for the Mehndi, or any other event.

Thankfully, Mama Spaniel came in to save the day, and found this dress for me on sale at Macy's.

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It's just an American-style dress (familiar enough to be comfortable) with a little hint of the Eastern style I was going for. I'll be sporting it with some gold jewelry (that I have yet to find). It also fits well enough for me to flex my biceps with impunity and without fear. Always a plus!