I won't be writing my own vows

D and I tell each other, all the time, how much we love each other, but we won't be penning our own vows. In fact, we'd both like to talk as little as possible at our ceremony! (Isn't that what the ketubah is for? We'll both already have signed our vows anyway!) I thought for half a second about writing something of our own, but then I read that poem, Love to D last night and quickly remembered the problem—I would be CRYING MY FREAKING EYES OUT at the ceremony, and a being a runny-nosed bride would be kind of embarrassing.

Love

I just read this at Style Collective and it was so cute and sweet, I kind of teared up a little. I had to share.

Love, by Roy Croft

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;

I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.

-----
Image from BrooklynParrots.com

Wedding look 2

Here's another idea I'm considering for my look on my wedding day.

Dress: Karena Royale by Maggie Sottero in ivory lace over light gold with gold ribbon, $1,206. Veil: Mantilla with alencon lace in ivory by Ann Leslie Designs, $129. Jewelry: bangle bracelet, $87, and marquise crystal drop earrings, $88, by Glitz. Magdalene strappy sandals, $198, or Jacquelyn jacquard peep toes, $398, by J.Crew.

I just love this Maggie Sottero dress because of the beautiful lace and the contrast color sash across the waist, and the sort of "blingy" jewelry complements the broach on the bow (I know, it's hard to see in this tiny picture). I think it would look nice with a lace-trimmed veil and really interesting heels, but I couldn't decide which I liked better—something gold to complement the sash, or something in softer colors but with an accent that goes well with the jewelry and broach on the dress (I'm leaning towards the latter, but at $398, for a pair of shoes? They'd better feel amazing!).

Oldie but goodie

So I don't know if this strictly fits into my diet, but today for lunch I made my FAMOUS (or infamous) peanut butter chicken. You have to try this dish: it is way better than it sounds AND looks.

2 chicken breasts, cut into strips
1 green bell pepper, cut into strips
1 cup chicken broth
3 Tbsp peanut butter (I like crunchy, honey roasted)
1 Tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp lemon pepper

Mix the broth, peanut butter, soy sauce and lemon pepper in a bowl and set aside. Stir fry the chicken for 4-6 minutes or just before it's cooked through; add the bell peppers and stir fry for another minute or two. Add the broth/peanut butter mixture and heat on low for another half minute. Serve hot over rice. Makes four servings.

It is delicious. I figured this one out in college, and it was the first dish I ever made myself where I completely cleaned my plate (like, I nearly licked up any leftover sauce). So good. You can also do it with beef (use beef broth), and make it vegetarian by using vegetable broth and either tofu or green veggies (or both!).

Wedding look 1

Here's one idea that I was thinking for my look on my wedding day. I'll be posting these periodically over the next few months.

Top left: Galina Signature dress from David's Bridal, $800. Top right: silver bangle with stones from Kiss Kiss 22, $10. Bottom left: Faye kitten-heel sandal by J. Crew, $150. Bottom right: photo of hand henna by Dan Heller Photography.

I'd like a slightly embellished dress, either with lace or beading, a very defined waist, and simple, low-heeled shoes (I love the J.Crew bridal shoes!). In addition to my "Jewish-lite" wedding, I'd like to incorporate more of my heritage with Indian bangles, and mendhi on my hands. I don't want to go over the top with the henna, though; I liked this image because it's not too heavy (it hasn't dried and cracked off yet in this photo), but still beautiful and decorative.

To do list

We don't really have the same HUGE lead time we had when we first got engaged (although thirteen months is still pretty enormous), so I decided to start thinking about what exactly we want to get done for the wedding before the summer. My priorities:

1. Find an officiant. I'd like to call a few Reconstructionist rabbis, a Unitarian Church, and some non-denominational ministers and see if we can't find someone from one of those three groups to commit to. InterfaithFamily.com has a referral source for rabbis, and MoH should get back to me about what she finds out soon, which should have us started. Ideally, I'd like to have this locked up by April.

2. Research photographers, videographers, and DJs. I found one vendor that offers all three at a very good price (under $3,500), but I don't know yet if they're very good at any of them. I've found a few photographers I like that aren't *too* expensive, but it's hard to learn much about a DJ through a website. My goal is to find all three of these for under $5,000, and to have them booked before May.

3. THE DRESS. I plan to start shopping as soon as school lets out in May. I'd originally hoped to start and finish in one marathon day, but there are a few different dresses I'd like to look at specifically, and the bridal salons that carry them are all over the greater Los Angeles area. I want to have this done by the beginning of June.

4. Flowers. I think this one will be phone call and visit intensive, so I don't plan to start until May. I want to have this picked out by the end of June.

5. Bridesmaid dresses. I already know the dresses I want, and summers are less busy for most of my bridesmaids, who are students or work in schools, so I'd like to do this in July, in one day, and get it over with before I start classes again in August. We'll probably pick out my mom's mother of the bride dress at that time, also, although hers might take a little longer (because I can't tell her exactly what to wear!!)

6. Insurance. This is no fun, so I'll just do it in a day or two over the summer. It has to be done by October.

7. The rings. D's ring should be pretty quick (we can go to someplace like Robbins Bros. for the two-tone ring he's hoping for and probably pick up the ring within a few weeks), but the one that matches my engagement ring comes from a little mom and pop shop that will need up to twelve weeks to order the wedding band if it's not already in my size. So we'll need to take care of this in November.

8. The cake. I think three months ahead is early enough to get a bakery. I'll take care of this in December.

9. Miscellaneous! There are a lot of labor-intensive other items that I'll need to take care of between now and next March, like invitations (which I may or may not make myself), seating charts, place cards and favors (which I may skip). I'll take care of as many of these as I am able over the summer, and the rest over winter break (December/January). I'll have to get help from my bridesmaids with things like the place cards, since I'll be in the middle of the term when that needs to get done. But I'm trying to simplify these projects as much as possible (e.g., plain white place cards from Target) so that they don't take insane amounts of time.

Hey, that doesn't seem so bad!

Sore

Yesterday, before weightlifting (which I did for an hour and fifteen minutes), I played tennis for 45 minutes with D.

Today, I can hardly lift my legs enough to walk forward, or my right arm enough to take notes in class.

I feel awesome! But I also feel pretty tired, and awfully sore. And annoyed that I've been doing this for almost eight weeks now and still don't have a flat stomach ;).

Choosing an officiant

For me, the most important aspect of wedding planning, after finding a venue and caterer, is selecting an officiant. This is particularly difficult for Mr. Spaniel and I because of our multicultural backgrounds, and MINE in particular.

So I was kvetching to MOH that I wanted to have a "partially Jewish ceremony," but there were five obstacles to finding a rabbi who could perform the ceremony: (1) I don't really consider myself to be Jewish anymore (except culturally), (2) I am not joining anyone's congregation, (3) Mr. Spaniel is not Jewish at all and will not consider conversion, and (4) we don't plan to raise our children Jewish (um, except culturally... they will know their backgrounds, but we won't be taking them to synagogue on the High Holidays or anything...), and (5) we're getting married on a Saturday, and possibly before sun-down. I guess any rabbi who was willing to let the first four obstacles slide, though, would probably not be terribly concerned about the fifth! Wonderful helper that she is, MOH offered to call on some of her connections (i.e., the rabbi who did her wedding, and people at the Jewish day school where she works) to see if she couldn't find me some referrals anyway. I can't even tell you how helpful it is to have a MOH who has already been married. :)

I know this would make my family happy. I may have put some distance between myself and my religion, but Mama Spaniel has gotten really into it in the last few years, and the rest of her family certainly still thinks of themselves as Jewish. And even though my dad's family members are all adherents of a different faith, I think they would appreciate the symbolism of a Jewish wedding, which shares some rituals in common with Islamic weddings. (In any event, they think I'm Jewish, and they wouldn't be offended by—and in fact would expect me to have—a Jewish wedding.)

I'm not so sure about Mr. Spaniel's family, though. Where my family is Jewish and Muslim, his family is Catholic and atheist. I'm not worried about offending the atheists since we're not really planning to talk about god too much (and a certain amount of that is generally expected at weddings) But Mr. Spaniel thinks it might throw off his Catholic mother to have a rabbi perform the ceremony. I never would have thought that it would bother her, but maybe?

I'm just not sure who could do a wedding that was part-Jewish than a rabbi, unless it was a rabbi and someone else (and I'm not really keen on co-officiants for a 20-minute ceremony; it just seems a bit much). So I just assumed, when I told Mr. Spaniel that I wanted this, that he realized I meant I wanted a rabbi to do the wedding. I can't imagine asking a "non-denominational minister" to perform Jewish rituals that he might not understand, or even know at all.

Obviously Mr. Spaniel and I will have to talk about this for a while longer until we come up with a solution, and maybe interview some officiants before we make a decision. I don't need a rabbi if someone else can do the same thing. What I really want is someone who is able to understand the very complicated backgrounds we come from, our personal (lack of) faith, and be able to meld all of the interests of our families and ourselves together in a way that is respectful of everyone. Is that too much to ask?

Or we could just have this guy do it.

Thinking about the honeymoon

Last night D and I did a little bit of research for our honeymoon. We've got about one week: we were thinking of taking a driving trip up the California coast, through Santa Barbara and then hitting up wine country before heading back home.

OR, we could just head to Napa (or Sonoma) and spend a few days there.

OR, we could take a 5-day Caribbean cruise, which would probably cost less (except for the cost of the flights).

What would you do?

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday

I got this from the Doc², and I'm bored. Here you go!

1. Do you like blue cheese dressing?
I don't think I've ever had it as a dressing. I'm not a big fan of blue cheese in general, though.

2. Have you ever smoked cigarettes?
Never!

3. Do you own a gun?
No, but I've shot one before.

4. What’s your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shops?
Green tea, or hot apple cider. I'm not much of a coffee drinker.

5. What do you think of hot dogs?
A guilty pleasure. They are disgusting if I think about them, but all-beef hot dogs can be quite tasty.

6. Favorite Christmas song?
Chorus of the Bells.

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Water. Lots of it. Sometimes I take some hot green tea for the road.

8. Can you do push ups?
YES! I actually completed the hundred push ups challenge last year. (Yes, I am a badass. ;)

9. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
My engagement ring!

10. Favorite hobbies?
Working out, cooking, blogging. :)

11. Do you have ADHD?
I've never had the hyperactivity, but I might have some ADD. Either that, or I'm just totally uninterested in what I'm doing these days.

12. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself?
I'm too self-conscious and I care too much about whether other people like me.

13. Middle name?
Michelle.

14. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
#1: I could totally go for a snickerdoodle right now.
#2: I should be studying.
#3: I need to do my nails.

15. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink
Since I've already mentioned the big three, the other three are Coke, lemon drops, and red wine.

16. Current worry right now?
That I'll never get a job!

17. Current hate(s)right now?
Nothing, really. Maybe the economy.

18. Favorite place to be?
At home, on the couch, in front of the television. :D

19. How did you bring in the New Year?
Top deck of a cruise ship in the Mexican Riviera, smooching my fiancé.

20. Like to travel?
Yes and no. I've been to a lot of places, and I'd like to go to a lot more places, but when I'm actually traveling I am usually too tired to enjoy it.

21. Name 3 people that will complete this?
Probably no one. I'm not tagging anyone, and I get about 2 hits a day. :)

22. Do you own slippers?
Of course.

23. What color shirt are you wearing?
Dark brown.

24. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor?
I don't know. I haven't watched it, but I'd guess no.

25. What song do you sing in the shower?
Whatever is stuck in my head. Lately, Robert the Onion (Frank Black).

26. Favorite girls names?
Ashley, Maya.

27. Favorite boys names?
Colm, Ailer.

28. What’s in your pocket right now?
I have no pockets right now!

29. Last thing that made you laugh?
Oh god. The new Denny's commercial. It makes me laugh until I cry.

30. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
I was in a terrible car accident when I was 9 and seriously injured my leg. I couldn't walk for almost two months, and used crutches for another four. I have a pretty gnarly scar.

31. Do you love where you live?
I love my apartment, and I really like the neighborhood I live in. But I'd love to live closer to D.

32. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Three!

33. Who’s your loudest friend?
By actual volume, or by volume of words spoken? I don't know about the former, but certainly BM2 for the latter! That girl can TALK.

34. Does someone have a crush on you?
If someone is hopelessly in love with you, does that count as a crush? :) I don't think anyone else does at this point.

35. What’s your favorite candy?
Trader Joe's dark chocolate pistachio toffee. Yum!

36. Favorite sports team?
My college basketball team.

37. What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
Watching television... but I don't remember what.

38. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today?
SNOOZE! SNOOZE! WHERE IS THE SNOOZE BUTTON?

39. What’s your favorite holiday?
I can't decide between St. Patrick's Day and Thanksgiving.

40. What are your plans for tomorrow?
Work out, go to class, and study all day.

Free money

I just got my tenth $10 check today, so it reminded me to share with you all this nifty survey site! If you sign up using this link and complete your welcome survey, I'll get referral points, and you'll be on your way to earning money for filling out surveys. If you enjoy filling out surveys anyway, might as well get paid for it! :)

(By the way, don't worry; I'm not planning to over-monetize my blog :). I'll be linking to items on Amazon.com when I talk about them and they're relevant, but other than that, you won't see any Google ads here, and I won't be doing any sponsored posts. This is it, and you can get paid, too!)

Rehearsal

My wedding is 1 year, 1 month, and 1 day away. :) But that didn't stop the coordinator at our venue from sending me an email yesterday about the rehearsal dinner menu they offer! This got me thinking: our wedding is on a Saturday, but we can't hold a rehearsal on Friday evening (there might be another wedding at that time)—so do we have everyone come out to a noon rehearsal and have a rehearsal lunch? Have them hang tight until later in the evening and then have dinner? Hold the whole thing on Thursday evening?

Everyone works, so I am not sure that taking off the day on Friday will be an option for some people. On the other hand, a few are coming in from out of town, and if they have to come up on Thursday and back on Saturday (or worse, have to take off Friday anyway!), that might not work so well, either! What to do!

In any event, we won't be having the rehearsal dinner at the wedding location. There are so many great restaurants in the same part of town that are only very short drives from where the rehearsal will take place; why not go somewhere else and have some variety?

Goal weight in reach, but getting further away

As soon as my weight got low enough that my ideal weight was actually conceivable, my social life got busy and exciting—and you know what that means, right? Too many lemon drops! But last night was the last straw: just because I'm close to where I want to be does not mean I can go eating chocolate chip muffins and drinking apple cider and red wine, and ESPECIALLY not all at the same time! Jeesh!

I'm back on the wagon today, and trying a new recipe for lunch. Basically, for lunch I am supposed to get some protein, a little bit of fat, and some carbs. I usually go with some kind of bean-based meal (usually something like curried chickpeas and rice), so I decided to try something different today: beef chili and tortilla chips! So I get to eat things that I love (beef, chips), and not break any rules.

I went with a pound of extra lean organic ground beef (95/5), and pan fried it in a little bit of olive oil and half a small onion, diced. Then I mixed in chili powder, garlic powder, salt, pepper and oregano, 16 oz. of organic marinara, and a can of kidney beans. I haven't tried it yet—it's still cooking—but it smells SO GOOD! I'm having it with baked, unsalted blue corn tortilla chips. I hate baked chips, but I'm trying to be good. :)

What are you doing for Valentine's Day?

D and I are not big celebrants of V-Day, but we decided to satisfy my craving for Mexican food and have a DIY Valentine's Day with a romantic dinner of homemade... fajitas. :)

I'm actually pretty excited about this meal. We got some limes from his parents' backyard, organic corn tortillas and skirt steak from Whole Foods, and beautiful bell peppers, onions, avocados and tomatoes from the farmers' market this morning. We're going to make some mojitos with some of the limes and the mint we have growing on the balcony to have while we cook, and for dessert, chocolate-covered strawberries (also homemade!).

Ultimately it costs as much (or more) than going out, but we get to avoid the Valentine's Day crowds at all the restaurants (which drive me crazy) and can be as loud and silly as we want in only our own company. Now if only we could get someone else to wash the dishes!

Update: The vegetables came out wonderful, and the guacamole was delicious. But our marinade actually started to cook the beef and it came out super tough. :( At least we had mojitos to fill up on!

Week 6: FAIL

This week has been particularly rough in the weight loss front. My workout, though exactly the same as last week, has felt twenty times harder, and the urge to cheat on my diet has been practically irresistible (I'm actually planning to suggest Mexican food to D tonight, blowing both my budget AND my diet all in the name of chips and salsa... hopefully he will say no!). But what is really killing it is that I hurt my back yesterday, and I couldn't work out this morning. So now I want to cheat on my diet very badly, and I can't get any exercise.

ARG!

Whatever. The wedding's still over a year away, and I have my whole life to be healthy. I don't feel like denying myself today. Does that sound like a cheap justification? Well, it is.

Gah! Want!

Just when I thought I'd found my dress (or one of four possibilities), I was just directed to Lea-Ann Belter's 2009 Collection and oh! Carolina!

Luckily, I can pretty much confirm—without even making any phone calls!—that this dress is not in my price range by the appearance of the phrases "silk dupioni," "Swarovski crystals," and "real fresh water pearls" in the description, so I don't even have to get my hopes up!

Let's do the time suck again

As a master procrastinator, I decided that pricing wedding invitations about 13 months before the wedding was a much more pressing concern than studying... it'd be more fun if I didn't have to re-enter the text at every website, every time, to get a price! I love paper goods and I really wanted letterpress, but with my limited budget, I decided that I needed to look at other options.

I started with the thought that I would make my own wedding invitations à la Cards and Pockets (with a folio and backing and lots of colors). But after purchasing a sample set and attempting to print an invitation, I realized that my printer was not up to the task.

I thought about sourcing out the printing to Envelopper Inc., which does multi-color printing in custom sizes at a fairly reasonable price (even though everything else is more expensive than Cards and Pockets), but with all of the inserts, the price became so high that I wasn't really sure it was worth it to make my own invitations—after all, the printing was still flat.

I tried MyGatsby.com to have the inserts printed using thermography, which I like better than digital offset printing (but less than letterpress), but I couldn't send them a PDF; I had to work with their line spacing and fonts and isn't that why I wanted to make my own in the first place? Or was that because of the pockets and I didn't want to spend $10 per invitation on them? Wait, do I even need so many inserts when the wedding and ceremony are in the same place? Or even if they weren't? Why am I doing this again?

Back to the drawing board.

My next stop was at FineStationery.com, which has gorgeous engraved invitations that I WANT like these Kate Spade ones that don't match my colors AND I could never afford, but also some plainer ecru engraved William Arthur invitations that I (almost) could. Still too expensive. I looked at the thermography invitations (both William Arthur and other brands), but they were still kind of expensive for their plainness, and the Birchcraft ones had lousy font choices. And I want envelope liners! If I'm getting plain ecru invitations with plain black ink, give me some darn pattern somewhere!

On to the next!

Apparently, a lot of the invitations at The Wedding Paper Divas are flat-printed (and I can't afford the William Arthur letterpress ones that aren't), but I loved the banded damask invitations there in Kiwi, but I still want raised printing! Dang it! Sure they'd be easier than assembling everything myself, but for the same price they didn't offer much I couldn't do on my own.

Onward!

I finally started making some progress when I found Mercurio Brothers Printing, who will print my own files onto letterpress, giving me 100 5 x 7" invitations and 3½ x 5" response cards and printed envelopes for each for under $600, but I still wanted direction cards (the address for our venue doesn't match the actual location, and getting there is more complicated than a Google map can help with) and thank you cards and I didn't want to spend $1,000 on paper!!!

Anyway, I thought we would most likely end up going with Invitation Consultants, where I can get my invitations, response cards, thank you notes and printed envelopes for under $550. Sure, it's thermography and not letterpress, but, eh, good enough. They will be pretty plain (black ink on ecru), but I'll probably find some black and white damask patterned paper elsewhere and make my own envelope liners to liven them up a bit. Or not. I can't think about invitations anymore! :)

Dream dress

Looky, looky! (Lots of pictures!)

I finally found an image I could save, so I decided I wanted to show you all my DREAM dress (now I just need to find it at a reasonable price!).


It's Fontana from the 2009 La Sposa collection. I particularly love it with the extra lace top; it's like two dresses in one!

If I can't find it, though, I'll probably be going for one of these three dresses from David's Bridal:

(Click the images for views of the full-length dresses.) I like the Oleg Cassini (the last one) best, but of course it is the most expensive.

Big success

Yesterday I forgot my belt when I packed my things to spend the rest of the weekend with D. My jeans felt incredibly loose, so, on a whim, I held the waist out in front of me to see how big they were. I should have taken a picture; I felt like a weight-loss commercial. I bought those jeans at my heaviest; since then I've lost at least three inches in diameter! ;) Not sure how that translates to actual inches lost, but whatever. It's damn good news to me! I've definitely dropped one size since January (I have one more to go before my old pants start to fit me again), which is really exciting. But that means I have one pair of jeans that are a size too big, and two pairs that are a size too small, so I have to choose between a muffin top and a saggy butt. Not very attractive choices! If I don't lose the next few pounds very quickly (like, before the end of February), I might have to buy a pair of jeans in between sizes to hold me over.

I have about five pounds to go before I get back to my ideal weight. Then I'll need to re-jigger my diet to be able to maintain my weight while still working on my overall fitness. It'd be terrible if I gained any of it back before the wedding ;).

The diet that isn't really a diet

I've been talking a lot about my diet and how much I love-hate it, but when I was practically drooling today over an imaginary chocolate chip muffin from Porto's Bakery, I had to rethink what exactly it is that I am trying to accomplish here. (If you live anywhere near Los Angeles and have not tried their pastries yet, GET YOUR ASS TO GLENDALE—or Burbank—and GET ONE! OR 17!)

I've never been on a "diet" before. I've exhorted myself to eat less ice cream, and I've (temporarily) consciously reduced portion sizes in the past. But to actually stick to a plan whereby I eat something pre-planned and I can't completely change it if the mood strikes? This is new to me. And hard. Sometimes, a girl just wants a warm muffin or hot cereal for breakfast instead of yogurt and pomegranate seeds, ya know?

One of my girlfriends asked me today how long I intended to stay on this diet. I told her as long as it takes to get back to my goal weight, but, once I get there? Will I go back to eating whatever I feel like, without regard for whether I'm getting enough balance to my diet throughout the day? So I should have said, "FOREVER." The point is to change my lifestyle and make it healthier, not just to shrink down for a dress. Sure, once I get back to my goal weight I will have to add more calories, and that's fine—I can have eggs for breakfast once a week, or add some guacamole to my order every now and then (or even go to the kind of restaurant that would serve guacamole! Oh Mexican food, how I miss you!). But beyond that, I probably shouldn't abandon course just because the number on the scale is different, because I'm actually already healthier than I was a month ago. It'd be dumb to give that up!

Anyway, I'm down nearly seven pounds from my peak weight, which is about four pounds down from where I was when I started during the second week of January. I'm pretty pleased with my progress, even though I would actually kill you for a slice of Cuban cake right about now.

Don't forget to come to my wedding?

Last night, I dreamed that I woke up today (Thursday), that my wedding was actually this Saturday, and that I hadn't yet ordered invitations or sent them out.

I've dreamed in the past that it was my wedding day, and that we didn't have an officiant, and I've dreamed that I didn't have a dress. While any of those would be stressful, they could be resolved in a pinch. But if two days before your wedding, you hadn't even invited people? Damn. That'd be a small wedding.

You know, I don't really think about the wedding all the time ;). I write about it here because that's what this blog is about, but it crosses my mind pretty rarely throughout the day. But it still keeps me up at night, I guess!

Trashed

I trashed my diet on Superbowl Sunday. I knew that I would, so I don't feel terrible, but no alcohol (and no cheating!) this week, for sure.

I'm proud of myself for not deviating at all from my workout. Even though I still have over a year, time is winding down... I've got to stay the course!