Keys today!

(source)

D is picking up the keys to our new place tonight. I'd thought it would be tomorrow, so I am BUMMED that I made plans with my girlfriends on the other side of town on my last night as a "single" woman (or at least one who doesn't live with her man yet! ;).

We'll be moving what we can pack into our cars every day until Sunday, when we get the truck and move the big stuff. It'd be more efficient, I'm sure, to just move it all at once, but we can't wait!

Electric and gas get turned on tomorrow; Internet on the 3rd. But what we REALLY need done is to buy a refrigerator and get it delivered... because how do you live in a place without one??

What went wrong

I'm going to be frank and admit that I can't say much good about my mom's wedding. It's not that it wasn't good; it's just that I didn't realize until I was there how sad I was that my mom remarried and that my parents were never able to work things out. How cliché! I try to be grown up about it and recognize that my parents were just incompatible; I never had any illusions that they would get back together. And my new step-father seems to be a good match for my mom, so I try to be happy for them. It's just... hard.

I'm going to have to delete this post, aren't I?

As far as what did go right, my mom looked beautiful, I'm totally hiring her hairdresser (and maybe her make-up artist) for my wedding, the rabbi was actually kind of funny during the ceremony and not nearly as weaselly as I usually think of him as being (long story there, sorry), and the food was delicious.

As far as what went wrong... well I started to write it out but the list was ridiculous. Basically, most of it could have been resolved with a good wedding coordinator, which I am now going to commit myself to finding. The problems that I imagine could have been solved with a good coordinator: the wilted flowers (maybe a good coordinator would have made sure they made it into a fridge on a 95-degree day), a 2½-hour late caterer (maybe a good coordinator could have run around like a chicken with her head cut off looking for the caterer instead of the groom), the fact that the bridal party didn't get fed before the ceremony or during the cocktail hour (that was an add-on that had been paid for), or that the bride and groom didn't get fed AT ALL during dinner (WTH? and why didn't they tell me?!), or the fact that the open bar for the cocktail hour got closed an hour after the start of the ceremony, not the start of the reception (a good coordinator would hopefully be a good advocate for the bride and groom!).

I specify a good coordinator, because my mom had a bad coordinator. She was associated with the venue, and obviously had no interest in whether the wedding came off well or not. She actually left (for the day) during the ceremony. Who does that???

Another item checked off the to-do list

I figured I'd start moving forward with some of the easier to-do items (things that don't require in-person meetings!) so I just blocked some hotel rooms today. We got a good rate at a hotel that we actually like, which offers a guest shuttle to our venue (which will be nice—and safe!—after the three-hour open wine/beer bar we're holding).

Honestly, the biggest item on my list until now has been "Get through mom's wedding." She didn't demand all that much of me, really, but now that it's done, I feel like I'm actually free to start taking my own seriously again. Finally!

Her colors were pink, orange and purple. Coincidentally, so were my shoulders

(source)

My mom's wedding was last night. I tried to take pictures, but my camera pretty much immediately ran out of batteries (so that happened...). Mostly what I did last night, though, was suffer: I lost track of time out on the beach on Saturday (in 80+ degree weather) and BURNED LIKE A FREAKING IDIOT. I tried to ignore the pain (it's not about me it's not about me it's not about me) but every time a long-lost relative tried to give me a hug, it was all I could do not to start shrieking in pain. MISERY ALL AROUND.

I'm actually still on fire. D is coming by on my lunch break (he's off today) to bring me some of the aloe gel we bought yesterday that I forgot to apply this morning (and GODDAMN DOES IT HURT).

So... I'll tell you more about my mom's wedding after the aloe application, at which point I will also explain why I am now more certain than ever that we MUST HAVE at LEAST a Day-Of Coordinator.

All of our friends have STDs

(source)

Save the Dates, that is! D just got confirmation that the Laotian contingent (Best Man and his girlfriend who are living in Laos just because they felt like it) have now received our Save the Date magnets (which means the part of his family living in France probably has, also!). Woo!

This is all very exciting to me: for months after booking the venue, I really did very little for the wedding (except for putting a deposit down on a steal for letterpress invitations. But in the past week, I've (loosely) confirmed that we have a rabbi to perform the ceremony*, a photographer for beautiful pictures, and have changed my mind 25 more times (at least) about the dress. :) This is progress, people!

* As it turns out, MoH didn't just get her rabbi's contact information for me, she actually got him to confirm the date and it's already in his calendar! We're obviously going to wait until we meet him before we make the same kind of commitment, but he's available and willing if we want him!

Loved the photographer; tentatively booked her

So I met with the photographer today, saw more samples of her work, and talked prices. Our total budget for photography/videography/albums/etc. is $3,000. Her basic package is $3,500, but by cutting the number of hours, we're able to get down to just under $2,400 (plus tax). That means: cheaper videographer (which is fine, because I so don't care about that), and some money out of other categories will be going into album printing (including the e-pic guestbook).

For our money, we get the engagement shoot, five hours of wedding day photography (which is short, but the most we can afford), a second photographer, and high-res images. She has shot at our venue before and I love her compositions, so I am excited about this.

The deposit is 30% of the total cost, which I don't have right now, but she's promised a "right of first refusal"—so if someone else wants the date, I need to come up with the money right away (and if not, I can put it off until I have money in the bank again).

WOOHOO! Another item off the to do list!

Dress 2 accessories

Yes, I am still undecided on the dress. But I've decided that, if I go with Dress 2, I'll be going with the ivory/gold combination, and mixed metal jewelry to make sure I match both the dress and my ring, and that I don't spend a lot of money on strictly yellow gold jewelry that I won't ever wear again!

Earrings

14K Gold Filigree Chandelier Earring from Europa Jewelers
$219.75	$109.75	$234.75

I think gold chandelier earrings will be what I end up with, since they should nicely reflect the lace pattern on the dress, the semi-South Asian look I'm going for (Indian and Pakistani bridal jewelry certainly inspired this trend!), and I just think they look prettier in gold than in silver. ;) I did find the two-tone earrings, which is great in case I decide I want to go that route, but I actually like the pair in the middle (the cheapest ones! HOORAY!) the most.

Bracelets

Amrita Singh India Bangle Set (of 36), $38 each at Gilt Groupe ($90 retail)

I actually just bought these from the Gilt Groupe yesterday, with the plan of mixing and matching a few from each set on each wrist. Hopefully they'll work out!

Shoes

Charles by Charles David 'Chill' Sandal, $134.95 at Nordstrom	Sergio Rossi 'Prisca' Slingback Sandal, $495 at Nordstrom	Jimmy Choo 'Claret' Sandal, $524 at BlueFly

Unfortunately, none of these shoes are available in my size (and at least two of them are way too expensive). But they do reflect what I want, quite accurately: gold, strappy, and with a high heel (approximately 4 to 4½ inches). At least I know what I'm looking for now.

I do have a pair of shoes at home already (FREE WEDDING SHOES!!) that might work with the dress... I haven't taken a picture of them yet but they are olive green with gold threading, super strappy, and have gold, cream, and green-colored embroidery on the top strap (they are sort of like T-strap sandals). The heel is a little on the short side (maybe 3 inches?), but I could live with that if it's a shoe I don't have to pay for... if I ultimately like them with the dress. My bigger concern than the heel height is comfort... I've never worn them for more than a short evening out and I'm not sure they'd be functional for dancing all night. I'd better test them out first!

Catching up on the list!

I finally went ahead and asked for that contact information from MoH, and also put in a referral request at InterfaithFamily.com for a rabbi to officiate our wedding. It's entirely possible that we won't be able to get a rabbi at all—our wedding will probably be an hour before sundown on Shabbat. This doesn't matter to me—I don't really care if Israel recognizes our marriage or not—but it will probably matter to most rabbis, even the ones who would be willing to perform an interfaith wedding in the first place.

I'm meeting with the really amazing photographer tomorrow afternoon.

I think I'll put off the florist and the DJ search until after my mom's wedding. The florist I'm not looking forward to, and the DJ... well, maybe her's will work for me, and it'd be cool to see him in action first. But I'd like to find someone for under $1,000, if my photography budget is going to "grow," so we'll see.

And THEN I will figure out what stuff comes next on the to-do list!

Behind on my to-do list

(source)

Other than making an appointment with a photographer (who may be one of many; we'll see), I haven't really been staying on top of my planning timeline (see sidebar). In fact, I'm so behind that I haven't even updated the list of things I need to do now that it's June 24 and the wedding is less than nine months away!

I'll update the sidebar by this weekend, but I probably won't have met with any DJs, officiants, or florists by then. ;) But I would like to have a significant handle on all of these vendors by August sometime... I'd hate to have to do all of the major planning within six months of the wedding; that sounds like a nightmare!

Contemplating completely busting the budget...

(source)

...on photography. You know, on the one thing that outlasts the day? The thing that's more important than the tux you have to return, the dress you'll end up selling eventually (or that your daughter will be horrified you've offered to let her wear because god, mom, that's sooooo 2000s), the drinks no one will remember (especially when they're good), or the food that will stay with you just a little longer than you'd like?

Well in any event, I have a bit of a love affair with good wedding photography, but a small, small budget. There are lots of photographers in my price range, but I haven't seen any whose work inspires me. I have, however, seen lots of those photographers (the inspiring ones!) with $5,000 minimum charges. :(

So I just found a photographer whose work was really impressive, with a $3,000 minimum (although her smallest package is $3,500). I told her I loved her portfolio but that she was a little out of our price range (and by a little, I should have said a lot... but I think this is one of those things worth stretching for if we can meet somewhere in the middle) and that we'd love to work with her if she was willing to work with us and our teeny tiny budget. AND SHE ACTUALLY EMAILED ME BACK! So yay!

Meeting on Thursday. Hopefully she is still available when I can put the deposit down in late August, if we can make a deal. ;)

Much more reasonable

Lenox "Jubilee Pearl" Toasting Flutes, Set of 2 $58 at Macy's

Now these are a lot more reasonable toasting flutes than the crystal ones I found yesterday, even if they're not quite so "fancy."

I'm thinking of adding these to our registry so that we might have at least one nice keepsake—just one thing that isn't entirely useful!—from our wedding. They sort of coordinate with our china pattern, and I think the pearls in the stem would be fun with some nice "bubbly." Hey, why not?

A taste for the finer things

Swarovski "Crystalline" Toasting Flutes, Pair $390 at Macy's

I know it's really a ridiculous waste (I don't know how much money we would have to have before I wouldn't feel that way), but what great toasting flutes are these? I don't think I even know a champagne special enough to drink out of these... but I hope to someday. ;)

Nine months and earlier (by June 20)

Here is what should have been done by June 20 (I'm posting this on June 25 and backdating; I'll update as I catch up!

• Start a wedding folder
  We're using The Ultimate Wedding Workbook & Organizer to organize all of our vendor contacts and contracts. Between that, and the checklist from our venue, we're keeping (relatively) organized.
• Work out the budget
  You can find our proposed budget here
• Build your wedding party
  Our wedding party consists of fourteen people! We've asked our three brothers (combined), my two (future) step-sisters, two of my closest friends and my roommate, as well as all of D's close friends to stand with us on our big day. That leaves nine men and five ladies, so my two brothers will be standing with me on my side of the chuppah, where they belong!
• Settle on a head count
  Although we would have loved a small wedding (80 people or less, realistically), families always get in the way and our guest list started at 150. This may fluctuate a little before we send invitations.
• Hire a planner, if desired
  We may hire a Day-of Coordinator in 2010, but we've opted to forgo the wedding planner otherwise.***
• Book the ceremony site
  This was the first thing we did in our planning. I love our venue.
• Book the officiant
  We have an officiant booked (apparently when MoH told him about our date, he confirmed it in his calendar!), but we haven't made a commitment to him yet, so this is still an open item. We'll meet with him in a few weeks to confirm that we actually like him.*
• Book the reception site
  The ceremony and reception are in the same location.
• Research photographers, bands, florists and caterers
  Research? Yes. Contact? No.
• Insert vendor contact information into a master contact list
  It's all in the workbook.
• Throw engagement party
  My dad threw us a small engagement party for family in November.

So as of the "due date," we've finished all of the early planning on time except for confirming our officiant and researching florists. Not too bad...

* Update, 8/19: We just met with the rabbi, and D is on-board. His fee is much higher than we originally anticipated spending, but I think it's worth it. Even if it is 3% of our budget on 20 minutes of the evening. Eh!**
** Update, 8/26: Scratch that. We are still looking for an officiant.
*** Update, 9/7: We found a coordinator and are sending a deposit this week.

Natural jewelry cleaner

For the first six months that I had my engagement ring, I didn't clean it. Shocker! I know it's a sacrilege to let such an important piece of jewelry get dirty, but I didn't really know what to use to clean it that would be safe for the metal, the diamond, and the earth. I did eventually buy something, but it wasn't terribly natural and I wasn't particularly happy with it.

So I just found Enviro-Rite Allergen-free Natural Jewelry Cleaner via Earth Friendly Weddings, and I'm planning to order it soon. I have high hopes! It's made for people with allergies, asthma and "chemical sensitivities," contains no hazardous ingredients, phosphates, petroleum distillates, chlorine, perfumes, dyes or animal by-products... so it's perfect for semi-hippies like me and Mr. Spaniel. :) Especially Mr. Spaniel. He didn't even let me move my old jewelry cleaner into the new apartment. ;)

Combining finances

(source)

Mr. Spaniel and I aren't planning on fully combining our resources right away, but a few weeks before we moved in together this past July, we decided open a joint checking account for mutual expenses like rent, utilities, and groceries. This should have been easy, but between the two of us, we have accounts at six different financial institutions (and that doesn't include our student loans). His direct deposit goes into one account, which he then writes himself a check to transfer to a different bank, and anything he can save moves into an online savings account... and none of those are with banks that I use! (I know this all sounds ridiculous and like a really easy problem to remedy, but we each use the banks that we use for a reason—or many reasons—and it just isn't that simple to change!)

I already have an Electric Orange checking account and Orange Savings with ING Direct, and I think this would be a good bank to open our joint account with because you can link your account to external accounts, which would solve the problem Mr. Spaniel has of having to write himself a check every month. It would also make it easy to transfer our monthly throwaway cash to our individual accounts at whichever banks we like. The problem is that we are limited to one checking account there per customer, and I am not getting rid of my personal account there to set up a joint one! The search goes on!

Ultimately, we'd like to have joint savings and checking accounts, with smaller individual checking accounts for individual purchases that would be healthier for us each not to account to each other for ;).

A few crazy weeks

Tonight, my baby brother graduates from high school. Next week, the Love of My Life turns twenty-nine and my mom gets remarried. And the week after, D and I will move into our first apartment together and try to build our own furniture (hilarity will certainly ensue; I will try to take pictures).

And you know what I just realized yesterday? DOGS ARE ALLOWED IN MY APARTMENT (with an extra "pet deposit," anyway). And do you know what that means?

(source)

Well, not really. D won't let me get a dog until we have a yard (fair enough, I guess, but... boo!). No matter; I am this much closer to my very own "love sponge."

The point is, this is a few crazy weeks coming up. Posts will either be brief and sporadic, or long and increasingly frantic. :)

More bridesmaid dresses

I'd mentioned before that I wanted to find a bridesmaid dress that complemented the tulle in Dress 9, but that doesn't mean it has to be tulle also, does it?

Well. I'd considered J.Crew bridesmaid dresses before, but not very seriously because I was still looking for two-color dresses for the most part. But if I'm going to consider "Little Black Dresses," anyway, why not really go re-wearable, and go with silk (chiffon)?

Twist-tank, $170	Juliet, $180	Sophia, $165
(source)

I'm not going to tell any of my bridesmaids yet about this new development in my thinking, just in case I change my mind (and I don't want to get their hopes up)! But if I go with these dresses, I'll still let each girl choose whichever of the three dresses she'd prefer (although my favorite is totally Sophia!).

What do you think?

Deadline extension!

(source)

So all that wedding stuff I'm supposed to have done by June 20? I applied for, and granted myself, an extension. I'd have liked to have it all done, but with finding (and paying for) a new apartment with D and the summer gig being not exactly posh, I'm cutting it too close for comfort already, and can't be parting with hundreds of dollars this summer on things that I won't see until next Spring.

I'll still be making phone calls, though. Just no one better expect to be getting a deposit from me until September!

Why did I agree to this again?

After my first stint as a bridesmaid (I was forced to buy shoes that hurt! and a long red dress—it should have been floor-length, but I was too tall for it—that gave me a rash from the straps!), I promised myself that I would never agree to be a bridesmaid again unless it was for a really, really good friend. FSS and I are are not super close, but she's going to be family, though, so when she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, I said yes. I'll be asking her and her younger sister to be bridesmaids in my wedding, too.

At least I didn't have to buy a dress like this! (source)

So I've made it a point of principle not to complain about anything that she asks me to do for her wedding, or anything she asks me to spend, to her face. But I am starting to feel a little annoyed by it, anyway—I've been asked to buy a $145 long dress and then pay $50 to cut it to knee-length (why not pick a knee-length dress in the first place?); to provide two distinct appetizers for the bridal shower, for 27 people!!! (chips and dip are off the list of acceptable appetizers, by the way); and to chip in $200 (for the hotel only) for the Bachelorette Weekend where highlights will include a visit to a drag bar because it is "hilarious."

I'm not going to spend too much time kvetching, though. I'm just going to skip out on the weekend trip. It's a long drive (three hours, probably, though it could be longer), money is tight in these parts, and I don't really know these girls well enough to enjoy a whole weekend drinking with them and finding attention-seeking cross-dressers "hilarious" (I don't know; it seems sort of exploitative to me). I'm sure she wouldn't mind if she realized that missing this event is the only way I'd be able to get her a wedding gift at all!

Gilt-y

So we've all heard about Cole Haan bridal shoes with Nike Air "technology," right? Well, the idea has intrigued me, even if the prices have not (Nordstrom carries a few of their styles at $400+—I'd think of it for Prada or Louboutin, but not for a shoe I wouldn't wear again).

(source)

Well, yesterday, the Gilt Groupe held a sale on Sergio Rossi shoes. I didn't find my hot shoes, unfortunately, and I wasn't able to commit to the white satin not knowing exactly what wedding dress I'm going to wear. But when the Cole Haan sale started today, I figured I must act!

Of course they weren't carrying the bridal shoes, but I did need a pair of brown pumps for work, and although the high heels were not available in my size (I do love me some heels), the low heels were (they were still 2.75", though, and that's not that low!). I figured for $118 I could try a pair of shoes that would apparently be as comfortable as sneakers. And if they're really that great, maybe I'll consider the wedding shoes again.

By the way, if you're interested in joining the Gilte Groupe, membership is by invitation only. Consider yourself invited.

Moving in together

D and I just signed the lease on our first apartment together! It's small, it's old, it has no dishwasher(!) but I love it. It's in a great neighborhood in one of our favorite cities, close to our favorite restaurants, public transportation (that I would actually feel safe taking!) and D's work. We move in July 1, and I CANNOT WAIT.

(source)

Luckily, we have most of the stuff we need to survive there until the wedding (which will hopefully be accompanied by some registry gifts? :)—burned out pots and pans, mismatched dishes, torn-up sheets and nearly shredded towels (courtesy of an evil washer at my current apartment). We also have the furniture we need, except for a computer desk that we can share (which we're going to try to make ourselves using these directions). It's true that nothing will match (or even fit the space very well, necessarily), but I'm trying to think of it as a romantic poverty instead of just a style-less one. ;)

We do need to buy a refrigerator and a microwave, though. Commence online shopping!

The perfect shoe

My mistake; this is the shoe for Dress 3.

Jules slingbacks in metallic gold, $298 from J. Crew

Just the right pop of color, I think!

Large envelope, not for a wedding!

I had a big card envelope in the mailbox today and thought, "oh no! Another invitation! Who is getting married now?" But no! It was a graduation announcement for my baby brother! My baby brother who turns 18 next month! My baby brother who is a full seven inches taller than me now! I guess my baby brother isn't much of a baby anymore, is he?


Nah, I don't believe it. He will always be eight years old to me, like he was when I left for college. I refuse to believe otherwise.

Wedding look 10

Dress: Allure Bridals style 8634 (first photo taken by BM5; front and back views from official website; detail close-up photo taken by BM5), $1,190. Jewelry: Oval Aquamarine and Lab-Created White Sapphire Earrings in 10K White Gold, $199.99 at Zales; matching pendant, $199.99 at Zales. Bridesmaid Dresses: Dessy Bridesmaid styles 2509 and 2053 in ivory satin and black lace. Henna: image from Roving Sugarbeet. Bridal Shoes: Stuart Weitzman "Gloloopy" peep toe slingback in ivory satin, $178 from BlueFly. Bridesmaid Shoes: B.P. Platinum "Engagement" Sandal in black satin, $69.95 at Nordstrom. Flowers: Green wedding bouquet, image from Martha Stewart Weddings. Clutch: Jessica McClintock Satin Frame Lace Soft Body, $41 at Zappos.

I already put together one of these boards for Dress 2, so here is Dress 3.

I tried on this dress in white, but I would definitely get it in ivory. I like the look of the back better than that of Dress 2. And the "bling" on the waist is starting to grow on me. (Oh crap, I'm starting to convince myself that this is the dress!)

I'm not sure if this is the exact jewelry I would want to wear, but I definitely think a low neck like this one needs some kind of pendant necklace, and it'd be fun to put "something blue" into my jewelry, without going as dark as sapphire. I haven't found what I'd like to wear on my wrists, yet, if anything.

I think the lace in the two bridesmaid dresses complements the lace in the wedding dress, and, as before, I would let my bridesmaids choose their black shoes in the interest of saving them money and letting them be comfortable.

And the clutch? Well, that's just darn cute. The girls may find themselves gifted with Jessica McClintock clutches if I go with these dresses.

Wedding look 9

Dress: Allure Bridals style 8601 (first photo taken by BM5; front and back views from official website; detail close-up photo taken by BM5), $1,110. Shoes: Martinez Valero "Waverly" Pump in white satin, $154.95 from Nordstrom. Jewelry: Lois Hill Cutout Scroll Leaf Earrings, $188 at Nordstrom; Matte Bangles (Set of 12), $48 at Nordstrom. Bridesmaid Dresses: Dessy Bridesmaid styles 6503 and 2054 in black satin and tulle. Henna: image from Nomads and Housewives. Bridesmaid Shoes: Nina "Larine" Evening Sandal in black satin, $79 at Macy's. Flowers: Green wedding bouquet, image from Martha Stewart Weddings.

I'll be putting together one of these boards for Dress 3 also, but here is a look at Dress 2 first.

For Dress 2, I don't know if I'd like to wear a veil or keep it simple (since the dress already has something going on), and I haven't decided between white/silver and ivory/gold (I want ivory/silver!). I wanted to find shoes and jewelry that complemented the shape of the lace appliques on the dress, and I think these do.

These aren't the exact shoes I'll ask my bridesmaids to wear: I'm going to let them pick their own black pumps or peep-toes so that they can wear something they already have (if they have it) and be sure that they are comfortable. They've just about all agreed to do the henna with me the day before the wedding (my bridesmaids are such troopers!), so that's exciting...

I'm not dead-set on these bridesmaid dresses, but I wanted to pull the look of the swiss tulle on the wedding dress into the bridesmaid dresses—maybe there are better tulle options for bridesmaid dresses out there with both a strap/sleeve and strapless option? I'll keep looking, anyway.

I'm also pretty uncertain about these flowers. I like them, and the colors, but I think this dress needs a neater, more pulled together floral look.

Ready to be mailed

(source)

D's bunch of Save the Dates have been addressed, stuffed, sealed, and stamped, and are ready to go by the post office tomorrow. We are still waiting on confirmation on one international address (the Best Man lives in southeast Asia! I'm sure planning the bachelor party will be interesting... although he may have moved back to the States by then), but the rest are all finished.

Finally.

My side will get mailed off in July and August, after my mom's and FSS's weddings. And then I will seriously have nothing left to do except for the boring and tedious work (other than the dress, of course—seriously, I had just decided on Dress 3 when someone at WeddingBee commented that Dress 2 is perfect and Dress 3 doesn't flow right on my body, and her fiancé agrees. Gah! Who are all y'all anyway? ;).

Processing the dress process

I posted my dress dilemma both here and at WeddingBee, and emailed my bridesmaids and some friends and my mom for advice... and there is no consensus among the contingents!

Dress 1	Dress 2	Dress 3

But it was helpful anyway, because every time someone voted for Dress 1, I figured it was a wasted vote. It looked great on, but it's not the style that I want and I think I'd regret choosing it if I did (which I won't, so no regrets!). And that leaves two.

I was surprised at how much people online seemed to like Dress 3 (my mom doesn't even refer to it when we talk about dresses I like, but it's for sure in my Top 2), but I found myself concerned that everyone was disagreeing with me... and when I realized that it felt like a disagreement, I realized that there couldn't be one (a disagreement) unless I had already made my choice, which is Dress 2. :) See how much you all helped me?

But I'm really not totally certain between 2 and 3—admittedly, Dress 2 was the least flattering of the three (but it was still very pretty, I thought, and no one at my wedding will be doing a side-by-side comparison!), and Dress 3 is exactly the shape that I thought would look best on me. But the beading in Dress 2 has always really appealed to me (it reminds me of the Pakistani "dress" that I'd get if I (1) could afford it, and (2) weren't such a chicken!), while the bling on Dress 3 is kind of... eh.

The price difference between the two is only $80, so I can't really make my decision that way. Arg, I don't know yet. More thinking to be done! (By the way, anyone with an opinion can certainly still vote. I haven't made up my mind yet, and I enjoy your input. Even if I might not ultimately follow it. :)

Dress jackpot!!!

I found my dress shopping with Spaniel Bridesmaid (and former rommate!), BM-Y. I didn't know exactly which dress it was at the time, but I knew that I found it!

I went into Kraoza Bridal in Glendale because (1) I knew they carried Allure Bridals gowns, which I liked a lot, (2) I knew they were big and had a lot of dresses in stock (and so maybe they would have the two dresses that I absolutely must try before I committed to anything!), and (3) they have a reputation for, if not great customer service, at least really competitive prices. I brought BM-Y because of her great taste and fashion sense, and also because Mama Spaniel? Well. She is just not much fun to shop with.

Anyway. I must have tried on about 15 dresses. Nine were good enough to photograph, and three were definitely my favorites. I really didn't know which of the three I'd end up with, but I was almost certain it was one of them.

Nine might be dress overkill, so you get the short story and the Top 3. And keep in mind that all of these dresses looked better in person. ;) Ironically, the best looking picture was one of my least favorite dresses.

Unknown Designer?
I have no idea what designer this is or what the style number is (I forgot to check after I decided I liked it), so I can't provide the details. BM-Y found it, and I'm glad that she pulled it out because I would never have picked it myself. It was shiny, it had no lace, and my god! That is really a mermaid skirt! And it had a corset back! I don't want that!

But it was really pretty on, although you might have to take my word for it with this picture. :) It was the first dress that I tried on in three attempts at dress shopping where I thought, this could be my dress. It made me feel good, and it fit well... even in the wrong size! But I wasn't totally sure about the bottom of the skirt, or even the overall style... I'd wanted something with a lacy kind of antique feel, and this dress didn't have that at all. Even with everything wrong with it, though, it was in my Top 3.

Allure Bridals 8601
The girl clipping the dress was a bit, well, enthusiastic, and made this one too tight around the hips (which should account for the unfortunate crease), but this dress was beautiful. It's one of the two dresses that I actually came in to try on, and I loved it almost as much on me as on the model. ;) The details (the beading and the lace) weren't as prominent as I'd expected, which I couldn't decide if I thought was a good or bad thing. But the silhouette was beautiful! I just loved it.

I really wanted this dress to be the winner... but I couldn't decide. For a few minutes I thought I liked it less than the other two, but as soon as I let my brain form the words I changed my mind and liked it best. If I started to imagine myself in one of the other two dresses, I wanted to go back to this one. It's a super tough call and I didn't think I could make it on my own at that point. Halp!

Allure Bridals 8634
This is the other of the two dresses I came in specifically to try, and it did not disappoint. I was afraid that this would be the kind of dress you can't wear unless you have an absolute stick of a body, but it looked amazing! (I would not be able to eat on my wedding day, though, I bet!)

I thought it would be more comfortable and feel more secure because of the straps, but that actually wasn't the case: the other two dresses were plenty secure, and the straps were so loose (the dress was far too big on me before the clamps of doom came on the back) that I got overly focused on them at first. And the bling across the rib cage was a bit distracting. But despite every issue I had with the dress, I loved it anyway, and more the longer I saw it on me.

How is a girl to decide when the options are all so lovable? I seriously could have just taken my mom in and let her pick one of these three dresses, and I'd be happy. I love, love, love all three of these dresses!

Which would you pick?

Option A: Unknown Dress
Option B: Allure 8601 (strapless)
Option C: Allure 8634 (straps)

Wedding gown
Which gown do you like most?	Dress 1: Unknown Dress 2: Allure Bridals 8601 Dress 3: Allure Bridals 8604
	Current Results

-->

Sale at Crate&Barrel

(source)

The linen sheets that D and I are registered for at Crate&Barrel seem to be on clearance (and I do so hate when they discontinue something that I love, which happens often since I set up our registry there so far ahead of the wedding!), so I bought them today. :-/ They were originally $219 sheets, and are on sale for $69, so I really couldn't not—have you ever slept on real linen sheets? They're also more eco-friendly than cotton sheets, since linen requires less pesticides and irrigation than cotton does (and they last a lot longer, which reduces waste!). Sure, these are a blend, but they're more linen than cotton and I can't afford 100% linen sheets right now. :)

But enough of my justifications. We are about to receive our first ever registry gift! At least six months before my (first) bridal shower! A gift to ourselves, certainly, but a gift, nonetheless. ;) The package will arrive before we move in together in July, but I'll just hold onto it and break out the new sheets when we move in as a "housewarming" treat.

Ring doubts

I absolutely love my engagement ring, and I did enough shopping around to know that I got the only style of ring that could possibly have given me butterflies in my stomach (although maybe if he'd picked something before my endless nagging and surprised me with it, it would have achieved the same effect!).

But the truth is, after over seven months of wearing it, I am realizing that it's just a little bit impractical. Reasons being:

1. I work in a really sketchy neighborhood. The blessing and the curse of my ring is that it's quite eye-catching! I'll only be here until December, and, since I'm an intern, no one expects me to be here past 5:00 PM, ever (at least, this is true in my field and at my site; I know that's not true for interns across the board!). But by the time daylight savings ends, it gets dark pretty early and the "locals" around here are hardly the most upstanding of citizens. Of course, it's less likely that any of them would try to steal my ring, and more likely that I would be accosted by an agitated schizophrenic who thinks I'm trying to rob him (this has happened before, when I worked here regularly and not just as an intern, and it was very weird). And there's a good chance I'll be in this neighborhood after I graduate, too, which will not have a definite end date (hopefully) and won't necessarily have a 5:00 quitting time.

2. I have a very active lifestyle, which is incompatible with such a delicate ring. I play sports, I lift weights, I hike, and I do housework—all of these things are terrible for diamond engagement rings. And my engagement ring is a bit on the delicate side, what with the diamonds throughout the band and the high profile setting. Although I didn't like them as much, sometimes I think that the cathedral or bezel settings would have been the wise way to go.

(source)

Of course, I'm not going to be changing my engagement ring (unless Mr. Spaniel wants to buy me Tiffany for an anniversary gift? no?), so I'll just try to remember to remove my e-ring before doing most of those tasks and try really hard not to lose it while it's off my finger.

But I can use what I've learned in the search for my wedding band. We'd originally planned to buy the matching diamond band for me, but I'm thinking now about at least looking at a plain white gold, 2mm band that I can keep on my finger even at the times when the e-ring needs to come off.

What did/would you choose? And is it weird to go with a plain band when there is a diamond band that is made to match with my e-ring?

Nip that one in the bud

(source)

1.5 weeks on the job, and 1.5 pounds gained. WTF?

This is unacceptable! I haven't found my dress yet, but I have found one dress that looks great on me and why would I go gaining weight back before I have finished trying on others? DUMB!

I'm on lock-down, now. No more "just one brownie bite" from the lunch meetings. No more just finishing one set of exercises (when I'm supposed to be doing three). No more excuses for not going to the gym to do my cardio. Yes, it's a lot harder when you either have to workout at 5 AM(!!!) or when you get home at 6 PM, but that is beside the point! I can't be gaining a pound a week!

Delay!

I had thought our Save the Dates would arrive yesterday, but instead I got the email from the vendor that they were, in fact, shipped yesterday. Oops. I forgot to account for production time. :) We should get them by Friday, and this gives us plenty of time to get non-liberty bell postage! I mean, I don't really mind the FOREVER stamps, but they're kind of boring.

(source)

It was a tough call between the "Celebrate" and "King and Queen of Hearts" $0.44 stamps (sufficient postage for the Save the Dates, at least!), but I ended up ordering three sheets of the King and Queen stamps. It's true, fifteen of our seventy-five Save the Dates (I'm just going to start calling these STDs like everyone else, okay? This is getting silly) will not be going out with cutesy postage, but at least six of those will be mailed internationally (so I'll take them to the post office), and I don't feel like dealing with leftover cutesy stamps when I have a whole bunch of liberty bell stamps anyway (since we're sending postcard RSVPs and heavy invitations, we wouldn't be able to use the leftovers on our wedding invitations anyway... although maybe the thank you cards? Hm, a thought).

So hopefully the stamps end up in my mailbox at the same time (or before!) the STDs so I can send these suckers off!

Learning from FSS's wedding

FSS asked for my mailing address several weeks ago to send invitations, but I still hadn't received mine as of yesterday. I asked my mom if she was ever going to send them, when my FSF (future step-father) announced that he had them all and just hadn't brought them to the post office yet. So he handed me mine and D's.

(source)

The first thing I noticed? Her father had put $0.44 stamps on each envelope! On a heavy wedding invitation! It's a good thing he handed me mine so I could tell him to take it to the post office and get it weighed—I'm sure FSS wouldn't appreciate a bunch of returned invitations for insufficient postage!!!

The second thing I noticed (once I opened the invitation) was that her direction card was printed on regular computer paper on a quarter-sheet. Why am I so dumb sometimes when it comes to invitations and saving money? I was all ready to have mine professionally printed at Envelopper Inc. on 4 x 5¼" cards, designed to match my invitations as closely as possible, for almost $100. What was I thinking? I can do this practically for free on my own printer! Jeez, A. Start using your brain already!

Anyway, designing these took all of five minutes: I've listed directions from the north (my family), the south (D's family and all of our friends), and the east (the airport for our out-of-town and international guests, although I'm sure they'll be staying at hotels to the north or the south!), and our website URL where they can look up hotel information and graphic maps (*cough*and our registries*cough*—oh yeah, that was the other thing I noticed about her invitation: her registry cards both fell out at me and I thought to myself that this is probably not how I'll notify my bridesmaids where I'm registered!).